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Clips from 30 Rock - Live Show (S05E05)

"Of course I am!"
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"Men need alcohol."
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"It's the first thing every civilization makes along with"
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"weapons and shelters to enjoy prostitutes."
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"I don't know how much more of this Ian take."
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"This is the worst day of my life."
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"Your life? Of your life?"
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"What? You and Avery."
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"I'm sorry I forgot your birthday, Lemon."
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"It's not my best day. I'm not myself right now."
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"Please accept this $1,000 as my gift to you."
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"everything else."
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"You know where I spent my 40th birthday?"
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"In my office."
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"♪"
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"Look, Jack, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty."
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"I know I'm not the funnest person in the group."
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"I'm not the one you call when you want to go club OGT town and party dancing all night."
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"Why are you speaking like a persian immigrant?"
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"instead of light fires I have to put out."
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"I thought when I turned 40... 40."
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"Oprah, this is what the inside of a child's face looks like."
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"This is live!"
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"No, Jack."
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"I thought you'd never ask."
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"Of course. But caring about someone means making sacrifices."
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"It's made me more mature and... Oh, no, Tracy."
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"Uh-oh!"
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"And now I'm slipping a nip!"
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"The big one!"
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"But now there's hope."
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"and grew into a charitable organization, hands from"
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"executed criminals are now making life better for people"
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"all over the world."
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"So give... And give someone a hand."
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"No. Bad hand!"
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"Listen up. We forgot Liz Lemon's birthday."
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"Her 40th birthday."
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"How?!"
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"You gave me your list!"
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"Liz Lemon, because she takes care of us."
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"currently sober for the first time in ten years."
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"Not me. I just got my ten-year drunk chip."
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"Pete, what can you pull together?"
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"Is there time to do something for Liz on air? Not really."
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"I mean, I could cut the product placement for capital one."
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"Oh, you can't do that."
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"They give double miles every day for every purchase!"
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"Or the cast could say something during goodnights."
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"What..."
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"Please set yourself for goodnight."
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"Did you crash? No, but it was pretty scary."
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"I mean, not like the stuff I saw in the air force, of course."
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"Like this one time a bunch of us pilots got together and went to"
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"a haunted house in Germany."
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"Today is my birthday, Carol."
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"It's your birthday. Dammit."
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"Happy Birthday, Lizzie."
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"Wait. Wait. What's happening there?"
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"I was totally in on it."
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"You... you knew all along?"
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"Come on, you didn't think we'd forget, did you?"
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"Is that a polka band?"
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"Happy Birthday!"
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"Why is Henry Winkler on my cake?"
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"I like fonzi."
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"No, everybody loves the fonz!"
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"In my defense, yes."
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"On behalf of everyone "TGS", we want to... Good night!"
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"Well, I know your birthday isn't what you hoped, Lemon, but at least it was memorable."
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"It was perfect."
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"It was the best of both worlds."
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"It was... yeah, sorry."
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"eat cake off the floor."
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"I still have one birthday wish."
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"I want to you have a drink with me."
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"Well, I know Avery doesn't want me to, but it's dangerous"
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"You might turn me into a crow."
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"To you, Liz Lemon."
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"You're halfway to death."
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"God, I can see every line and pore on your face."
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"I'm dreading watching it sober."
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"♪ why, though, do a "30 rock" live show?"
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"Okay."
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"Good talk, Jadwiga."
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"You better find out."
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"Of course, not."
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"Do what?"
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"to hire those two strippers to dance behind you."
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"Those dudes were awesome."
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"Did you say grave or grape?"
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"Oh, Ms. Lemon."
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"It's very misleading."
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"I'm doing something called "breaking"!"
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"It also affects millions of men. Hello."
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"whose straps break all too easily."
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"But couldn't the real cause of E.D. be that we haven't"
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"No nonessential chatter, Liz."
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"I... I need you to go to my apartment and just clear out all"
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"That's it? Yeah."
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"So help me, I will slip a nip."
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"I will take this on principle, but it doesn't fix anything."
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"I mean, I know who I am."
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"Oops, that thing fell off!"
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"My shirt is accidentally falling off!"
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"Does it mean that what happened can be used to power a lumbermill?"
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"[ Phone rings ]"
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"It was messed up."
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"I've known these dummies a lot longer, and none of them... Oh, my God."
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"10 seconds!"
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"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me!"
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"No. Why are you doing this?"
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"Cast will be changing."
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"Oh."
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"Mr. Hornberger needs to see you many Mr. Jordan's dressing room right away."
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"So is my crack-up idea."
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"Now they are."
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"[ Cockney accent ]"
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"Krout's honor."
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"the porn before my mom gets there."
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