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Clips from Mascots (2016)

"- Okay. [chuckles] - and you'll be back to your old self."
Mascots (2016)
"When you go out there, [stuttering] you wanna give it your all,"
Mascots (2016)
"- You're a Herons fan? - [laughs]"
Mascots (2016)
"- For heaven's sakes. - All right. Do you... [laughs]"
Mascots (2016)
"[crowd cheering]"
Mascots (2016)
"- in that it's about cooperation... - [woman] Mm-hmm."
Mascots (2016)
"So, we had to switch it up."
Mascots (2016)
"It's one of the few instances of sadism in the animal world."
Mascots (2016)
"And we don't just work together on the field."
Mascots (2016)
"the second the first mascot walks through these doors."
Mascots (2016)
"and then some other states, too."
Mascots (2016)
"Wyoming, Utah..."
Mascots (2016)
"And if that happens, well... it's like a whole new level."
Mascots (2016)
"Uh, granddad... my granddad came up with a little family phrase,"
Mascots (2016)
"- It was different in olden times. - In my granddad's day, uh,"
Mascots (2016)
"when I corrected a teacher."
Mascots (2016)
"My classmates loved that one."
Mascots (2016)
"a non-league team in South Croydon."
Mascots (2016)
"I lost it in a skateboarding accident."
Mascots (2016)
"But studying dance was really, uh..."
Mascots (2016)
"I love, um... I love putting on the mask,"
Mascots (2016)
"and, um..."
Mascots (2016)
"just being inside of him."
Mascots (2016)
"[sighs]"
Mascots (2016)
"It could be my last time, you know? This could be my last hurrah."
Mascots (2016)
"Um..."
Mascots (2016)
"- Hey, stop humping my wife! - Get off me! Jesus!"
Mascots (2016)
"I just cut out the middleman and went straight to the fist..."
Mascots (2016)
"but, uh... you always gotta keep your wits about you, don't ya?"
Mascots (2016)
"And I'm doing a pratfall,"
Mascots (2016)
"and turning around and acting all coy."
Mascots (2016)
"that is the greatest sound in the world."
Mascots (2016)
"and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if we sell out this year."
Mascots (2016)
"What do you think? Just guesstimate?"
Mascots (2016)
"which is on your basic-tier cable package"
Mascots (2016)
"SN1 went under, as it were."
Mascots (2016)
"and the boat carrying Santa Claus turtled,"
Mascots (2016)
"He was gone,"
Mascots (2016)
"[exhales]"
Mascots (2016)
"- Does this smell normal? - I can't tell."
Mascots (2016)
"because he actually got into the club dressed as the Fist,"
Mascots (2016)
"He came to me and he said, "I need a straight man for my act,""
Mascots (2016)
"- Ah, got what you wanted? - I got what I wanted."
Mascots (2016)
"just a nipper when I first went to the ground."
Mascots (2016)
"You know, like any couple, we have our ups and downs."
Mascots (2016)
"Laci passed me a note in class."
Mascots (2016)
"- Yeah. - So that was the weird thing"
Mascots (2016)
"Because, later on that year..."
Mascots (2016)
"- You had your accident. - I had an accident."
Mascots (2016)
"And I sprained my ankle, and I had to hobble."
Mascots (2016)
"And Ruby has a little one. Ruby Jr."
Mascots (2016)
"[laughing] She's a granny!"
Mascots (2016)
"that eventually required four hours of surgery"
Mascots (2016)
"That lasted all of one game. Caused a lot of controversy."
Mascots (2016)
"In any of your social media, "Hashtag, in your ear,""
Mascots (2016)
"and you'll see what's going on."
Mascots (2016)
"hundreds of mascots wanted to compete in this year's competition."
Mascots (2016)
"Well, not tonight."
Mascots (2016)
"- [Andy] Hey, how's it going? - [man] Good evening."
Mascots (2016)
"That vanilla wrap is such a must-have. I love it."
Mascots (2016)
"- Mike Murray. - Hi, I'm Laci."
Mascots (2016)
"- [Mike] Yeah. Yeah. - [Laci] Good to see you. Hi."
Mascots (2016)
"And this is, by far, the best turnout we have ever had."
Mascots (2016)
"but the popcorn is really, really going on strong,"
Mascots (2016)
"That's 'cause you're probably smelling mine."
Mascots (2016)
"Porta-potties, I've been in. Many of them."
Mascots (2016)
"I'm an aromatic engineer."
Mascots (2016)
"And then we have anchovy."
Mascots (2016)
"I can't tell you how excited I am to be here."
Mascots (2016)
"we took our kids, Muffy, Ponce, Sugito and um..."
Mascots (2016)
"so, you know, that got me interested in Mascotting."
Mascots (2016)
"because so many people think mascotting's been around for 200 years."
Mascots (2016)
"You ever noticed that? Life is one big left turn to these people."
Mascots (2016)
"But I didn't live then, sadly enough."
Mascots (2016)
"[mascot grunting]"
Mascots (2016)
"I had to find some electrical tape, but we're all good."
Mascots (2016)
"Jack the Plumber enters, and he's kind of big and looking around,"
Mascots (2016)
"and then it's like, "Come on, let's go. Let's go.""
Mascots (2016)
"for me to finish with the big ladder routine."
Mascots (2016)
"Oh, yeah. "And carry a selfie stick."
Mascots (2016)
"He is your son."
Mascots (2016)
"do what you wanna do, then take it back and get your money back."
Mascots (2016)
"And I hope you've got the receipt,"
Mascots (2016)
"'cause then you can get the tax back at the airport."
Mascots (2016)
"Benny the Banana Slug [whispering] failed his drug test."
Mascots (2016)
"The Gluten Free Channel can't find out about this."
Mascots (2016)
"Nothing. It's just... I think a furry snuck in, and he's scritching."
Mascots (2016)
"- I do that. - It's fun for them."
Mascots (2016)
"I was in the other room, and one of them kind of bumped into me."
Mascots (2016)
"Might have been "yiff." And I said he was going for the wallet."
Mascots (2016)
"And we got a sex problem"
Mascots (2016)
"[grunting]"
Mascots (2016)
"- little bit on my blouse. - [groans]"
Mascots (2016)
"Mm-hmm."
Mascots (2016)
"- Yes. Boner! - [all laugh]"
Mascots (2016)
"- Really? - Definitely, yes."
Mascots (2016)
"[Corky] Nature is the great teacher,"
Mascots (2016)
"is nature personified, okay?"
Mascots (2016)
"I call this the crabby walk, okay?"
Mascots (2016)
"more just where your eyes end up"
Mascots (2016)
"- [Mindy] Would you throw the ball? - Yeah, I'll throw it."
Mascots (2016)
"- We're just two individuals? - Throw the ball. What?"
Mascots (2016)
"- [laughing] Hi! - [shrieking]"
Mascots (2016)
"[stammering] Well, I was gonna say I don't know how it happened,"
Mascots (2016)
"I mean, I remember, I was like, "Oh, my God.""
Mascots (2016)
"Yeah, my lawyer almost killed me, but I did it."
Mascots (2016)
"I mean, I'll make some macramé shit bag, you know?"
Mascots (2016)
"And he'll just go, "That's a masterpiece," or something. You know what I mean?"
Mascots (2016)
"- All right. - [stammering] It's okay. I'm okay."
Mascots (2016)
"I can't take my eyes off of you. You're a funny little guy."
Mascots (2016)
"Thanks."
Mascots (2016)
"Yeah, I'm not a fake little person."
Mascots (2016)
"- All right. - It's got to be a person of your, uh..."
Mascots (2016)
"- I would like $5, please. - I'm a little short this week."
Mascots (2016)
"Oh!"
Mascots (2016)
"and he said, "No, those are just your eyes.""
Mascots (2016)
"- Thank you. - That's cool."
Mascots (2016)
"[soft music playing]"
Mascots (2016)
"- Uh... - [chewing loudly]"
Mascots (2016)
"I think Mascotting is... To me, it's all about giving back, you know."
Mascots (2016)
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