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Clips from Steven Universe - So Many Birthdays (S01E01)

"- Steven: Why's everyone dressed like old-timey people? - Pearl: They are old-timey people."
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"Hey! It goes like this."
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"- Steven: Wh-whoops! - Pearl: Whoa, Steven!"
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"[laughing]"
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"It's kazoo racers! You get in a car, you play a kazoo ..."
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"[bell jingles]"
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"I work here every day and I've never seen your mug before."
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"Steven: Oh, hardy-har, Lars!"
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"And I want that doughnut, right there! Oh!"
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"Aah!"
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"I need to reverse this!"
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"[bone cracks] Ohh! I'm... too old... for this."
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"Unh! [groans]"
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"- Garnet: It's not working! - Amethyst: Pearl, get over here!"
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"what appears to be... a delicious pie! I sincerely hope that..."
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"[sobbing continues] Amethyst: Pearl!"
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"[breathing heavily] [groans]"
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"just... please... control yourselves?!"
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"All: # We are the Crystal Gems #"
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"♪ we'll always save the day ♪"
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"All: # we'll always find a way #"
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"- # that's why the people # - # of this world #"
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"- # believe in... # - # Garnet #"
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"- Pearl: How can you live like this?! - Amethyst: It was fine till"
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"- you guys started whining. - Pearl: Whining?! The whole temple reeks!"
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"- Steven: I found it! - Pearl: What manner of magical alloy is this?"
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"- Garnet: It's a burrito. - Amethyst: It's the tuna burrito from Aqua-Mexican!"
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"Steven: That place closed like 5 years ago."
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"[chomps] Ugh!"
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"Huh? What's this? It kind of looks like you guys"
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"- and my Mom. - Pearl: Oh, Steven, that is us!"
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"- Steven: Really? - Garnet: The hard part was getting the shark to pose."
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"Steven: W-wait. But that would mean..."
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"- How old are you guys? - Pearl: Much older than any human."
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"- Steven: Does that mean you'll live forever? - Pearl: No, no. We don't age,"
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"but we can still get hurt and die. [groaning]"
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"[coughs] Pearl: But not from food poisoning."
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"Steven: I just can't believe you guys are like a bazillion years old!"
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"How do you find a cake big enough for all those candles?"
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"- Garnet: We don't really celebrate birthdays. - Steven: [gasps] Why not?!"
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"- Garnet: It's not our way. - Steven: Well, I can't just ignore this tramesty"
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"of unjustice! I pledge that you will have your birthdays!"
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"With all the candy, cake, and ice cream you've been denied! [vomits]"
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"Steven: And the birthday queen is... Amethyst! I hope you like it."
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"Dad made me this outfit and it brings me special birthday luck every year!"
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"♪ It might as well be your birthday ♪ ♪ so why don't we have a party? ♪"
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"♪ even if your age isn't real ♪ ♪ and your body's an illusion ♪"
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"- Lion, you're killin' me. - Pearl: Um, Steven..."
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"I know you put a lot of effort into... putting faces on"
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"things, but could it be we're just a tad... mature for this ritual?"
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"- Amethyst: Boop! - Pearl: Oh! You will remove that"
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"- this instant! - Steven: Wait! Here!"
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"- Amethyst: Aww! I'll use it all the time! - Steven: [gasps] No!"
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"It's for the piñata! The piñata is an artifact from ancient aqua Mexico."
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"[grunting] [screams]"
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"Amethyst: Am I... getting..."
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"- close? - Garnet: Higher."
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"- Amethyst: [chuckles] What next, Steven? - Steven: Well, you were supposed to get"
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"- You had candy you didn't just give it to us? - Steven: There will be more"
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"sweet treats at Pearl's party. I promise."
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"Happy birthday!"
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"- Honk! - Amethyst: Steven, that is a brave look."
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"- Steven: No, it's funny! - Pearl: How?"
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"Steven: Uh... Oh, geez, I'm breaking character. Wait, wait, wait!"
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"I wrote some jokes! Why did Pearl throw butter out the window?"
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"- Amethyst: You did what? - Steven: To see a butterfly!"
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"Pearl: I never did that. Steven, are you telling lies?"
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"Steven: N-no! Oh! I know."
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"- Pearl, do you like pie? - Pearl: I do like pie."
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"Steven: Well, you're in luck! I baked you a pie!"
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"- I sure hope nothing happens to it! - Pearl: Yes, me too."
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"[gasps] Steven: See, Pearl? It's funny!"
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"[whispering] Garnet: Pearl says she's all partied out"
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"- and she's ready to go home. - Steven: This isn't going"
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"at all like it should."
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"I've got to pull out the ultimate birthday."
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"Okay, there's no way you're not gonna love this!"
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"[kazoo hums] What more could you want?"
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"- aging makes humans die. - Garnet: Steven, thank you for the birthday parties,"
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"- but I don't think we'll need any more. - Steven: Why not?"
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"Garnet: Our age is only an illusion. And Pearl's pretty sure this ritual is"
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"- more for human children. - Pearl: Nothing against children!"
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"Steven: Children? Everyone gets to have birthdays!"
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"Seriously. Give it a try! You're never too old!"
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"- Garnet: We're just too big. - Steven: You're not too big."
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"- Y-y-you just get in and then, uh... - Amethyst: I can fit!"
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"Which way to the baby war? Eat tread, dirtbags!"
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"Steven: What if birthdays are just for little kids?"
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"- What if even I'm too old? - Amethyst: No way. You totally fit!"
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"Oh, my bad. You are too old. [laughing]"
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"Kazoo racers suddenly seems undignified."
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"I never realized birthdays meant leaving things behind. All these parties..."
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"Ugh! So embarrassing."
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"[sighs]"
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"[deep voice] Oh, onion... so young, so innocent."
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"I can't be seen playing childish games like Whackerman Jr."
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"I better stick to sophisticated games like regular Whackerman."
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"It's whackin' time! You're gonna get whacked! Ohh!"
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"Steven: [laughing] That was fun, but a boy on the cusp of manhood"
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"can't spend the whole day whackering."
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"I need to take control of my life."
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"It's time to get a proper job!"
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"No. Love doctor? I'm too squeamish."
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"Ah! Now this is the job for me. [door closes]"
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"Ha. This day went so fast. I need a pick-me-up!"
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"- Two of the usual, please! I've had quite a day. - You must be confused, pal."
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"- Huh? - Steven: I used to make jokes!"
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"But you know what? I've had a lot of time to think today,"
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"and sometimes you got to smarten up, act like an adult."
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"'Cause one day, if you don't,"
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"And you won't have little Steven to pick on"
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"anymore because I'll be a grown-up, too!"
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"- Steven who? - Steven: Steven Quartz Universe!"
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"- Sir! A-are you okay? - Steven: I'm old!"
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"- Yeah, and nuts. - Steven: I'm gonna have to eat fiber cereal."
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"All my teeth are gonna fall out. And then I'll have to eat oatmeal,"
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"and it'll be sugar-free! Sugar fre-e-e-e!"
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"I need... a reverse birthday!"
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"The king costume. Will you help me into my birthday suit?"
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"Yeah, you better run! [Steven screams]"
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