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Clips from Disenchantment (2018) - A Princess, an Elf, and a Demon Walk Into a Bar (S01E01)

"No elf has ever returned, not even Returno."
Disenchantment (2018)
"I'd rather die a big death than live a small life."
Disenchantment (2018)
"[owl hoots]"
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"Personal demon."
Disenchantment (2018)
"- So, you'll do my bidding? - Uh, no."
Disenchantment (2018)
"I'm a princess. I can't do my own bidding. How are you even useful?"
Disenchantment (2018)
"You know that voice in your head that says to do the right thing?"
Disenchantment (2018)
"Yeah, I'm the guy that makes you feel good about doing bad things."
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"- You're like a terrible friend? - I never said I'm your friend."
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"[sighs] Look at this cake."
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"Shame you're a princess and too dainty to do anything about it."
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"I think you'll be very pleased with the revised cake, Your Highness."
Disenchantment (2018)
"Nice likeness. Competent latticework."
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"Moving down, sugar columns seem structurally sound."
Disenchantment (2018)
"Back looks good. And just a cursory glance at the bottom tier."
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"And it says..."
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"Isn't that... What?"
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"Bean!"
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"[Elfo] Caramel can be a coating, a filling, or a candy unto itself."
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"[grunts]"
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"[plays melody]"
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"Busy. We're at war here."
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"What's war?"
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"[whistles]"
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"[growling]"
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"Now we're meeting new people. [grunts]"
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"[shrieks]"
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"[gnomes yelling]"
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"Well, I like war, but I wouldn't say I love it."
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"Wha..."
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"Ooh. [chuckles]"
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"- I'm glad you can't see this. Bye! - Huh?"
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"- Oh! - Ah!"
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"Tonight is wedding night, so is time we had talk."
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"I do not need a sex talk from my stepmother."
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"Tonight, you will be expect to perform your wifely duties."
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"I don't have tentacles."
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"Your husband will have tentacles."
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"Are you trying to say testicles?"
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"[bell tolling]"
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"Hmm."
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"I'm Elfo, by the way. What's your name?"
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"Our food is not flavorful,"
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"Mmm. Mmm! Oh!"
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"I am sorry our food will bring you no joy."
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"This is delicious!"
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"- It's so incredibly good! - Now you've praised us too far."
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"- You must leave our humble home! - Get out, praiser."
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"Thanks again! It was delicious!"
Disenchantment (2018)
"How long is this gonna last? [shudders] I'm not exactly comfortable in a church."
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"- You could use some, though. - I really shouldn't."
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"I'm supposed to be surrounded by people I like."
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"Who needs a mother when you've got bridesmaids?"
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"- How about friends? - Uh-uh."
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"To drinking buddies."
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"designed to make us feel small and inadequate,"
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"or It is even capable of things like watching over us..."
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"This religion is still in its early stages."
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"Nobody knows anything for sure,"
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"[both laughing]"
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"Whoa! Pops."
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"[stammering] I'm just kicking back with my new cat."
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"Me? Ow. Meow. That's what cats say, right?"
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"I'm not here to answer cat questions."
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"Now get up and make your dad proud, you drunk."
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"- Are you trying to make a jerk out of me? - Yes."
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"[chuckles] Oh, wait, I'm far away."
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"[organ music playing]"
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"Do you, Guysbert, most Exalted Prince of Bentwood,"
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"Slayer of Metallica,"
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"take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
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"Duh..."
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"Okay."
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"And do you, Princess Tiabeanie, a single woman,"
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"take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
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"No!"
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"Ah."
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"[crowd gasps]"
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"[stammers] I didn't mean for that. I'm so sorry."
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"He's dead."
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"Uh, I think I'm still alive. No, wait. Nevermind."
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"I want my gift back."
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"- This wedding is all messed up. - We've got to save the alliance."
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"- What are we gonna do? - We've got another son."
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"Why didn't you say so? What's his name?"
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"- [stammers] God... Uh, Merkimer. - Merkimer."
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"Everybody, sit down. [chuckles]"
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"[clears throat] In consultation with Guysbert's grieving parents,"
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"we've decided the princess can still marry."
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"What?"
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"Presenting Guysbert's younger brother,"
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"the new heir to the throne of Bentwood, Prince Merkimer."
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"Uh... Actually, I'd be fine if someone could just slide my head up a bit."
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"Hush! There's a wedding in progress."
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"Do you, Prince Merkimer of Bentwood..."
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"You gotta be kidding me. Father, you can't make me..."
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"The king can make anyone!"
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"Say "man and wife.""
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"I now pronounce you man and..."
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"What are all your names?"
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"Elves haven't been seen in centuries."
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"Imagine the possibilities."
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"A shiny gold Zog to whoever seizes the elf."
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"[rapid thumping]"
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"Oh!"
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"[fabric tearing]"
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"[Elfo screams]"
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"So how'd it go?"
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"That good, huh?"
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"Ow."
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"Elfo has left the building with Bean."
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"My Knights of the Zog Table will aid you. Knights!"
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"Pendergast, who are your best trackers?"
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"That would be Stryker and Bolt, sire."
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"We won't get tired this time."
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"[crown clangs]"
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"It was sweet of you to wreck my wedding, but you're kind of slowing us down."
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"Mind if I give you a ride?"
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"[inhales]"
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"[exhales]"
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