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Clips from The Simpsons - Take My Life, Please (S20E20)

"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"(CROW CAWING)"
The Simpsons
"(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"and you will all advance with Vance!"
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"Principal Dondalinger!"
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"You... School spirit... Next card... The future..."
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"Oh!"
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"Got them from a buddy of mine with a store in Shelbyville."
The Simpsons
"Something weird happened back in high school."
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"But with a bad enough recommendation from you, we can stay here and party."
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"Okay. But screw this up"
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"(BOTH GASP)"
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"(HOMER AND LENNY GRUNTING)"
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"Dad, just 'cause you won a high school election"
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"(DONDALINGER CHUCKLES)"
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"Now, Dondalinger, I want some answers."
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"Jive talkin'"
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"But you did it out of kindness, so I'm grateful."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna sit under that tree"
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"The red head in the park was reading a book."
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"Homie, you're barely eating."
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"LUIGl: (IN ITALIAN ACCENT) You could know if you dared."
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"he can also see what might have been!"
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"Also as a vegetarian, I hope there's not meat in that sauce."
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"- I see a hair. - You see too much!"
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"So Dad's life would actually have been worse"
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"(BAND PLAYING SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)"
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"Would you read To Kill a Mockingbird for me?"
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"(CHUCKLES) But they're nothing compared to meeting you."
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"I don't know. But in this reality I am not gay. Hubba hubba!"
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"HOMER: Sweet dreams."
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"Dare I say secretary-treasurer?"
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"I'm class president."
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"Well, that's what's missing. Our lives would be horrible without the kids."
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"- Homie, please come inside? - Okay."
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"- Dad, we need to have a talk. - I get it."
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"Yep. In the future, people will look at this"
The Simpsons
"where the beef spells out the date of your death."
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"ENGLISH - US - SDH"
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"(BARNEY BELCHES)"
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"(HORN BELLOWING)"
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"(LENNY SHRIEKS)"
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"(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"(HONKING)"
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"(EX CLAIMING)"
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"D'oh!"
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"(BRAKES SCREECHING)"
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"Aha!"
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"(MARGE GASPS)"
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"Today we induct the newest honoree to the Springfield Wall of Fame,"
The Simpsons
"who will take his place along such luminaries as Duffman,"
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"Poochie and the man who invented the yield sign, Paul Yield."
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"Now please welcome the newest inductee into the Springfield Wall of Fame,"
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"local businessman,"
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"frequent flyer silver cardholder, and legendary 20% tipper,"
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"Springfield's own Vance Connor!"
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"(ALL CHEERING)"
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"- Hi, hi. - MAN: You're better than us!"
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"- Homer, that guy's your age? - No, he's ten days younger."
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"So you're saying he'll look like you in ten days?"
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"If he's lucky."
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"The guy owns a few local businesses and everyone treats him like he's God!"
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"Well, God doesn't need his own special day."
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"What about Sunday?"
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"(ROCK THE BOA TPLAYING)"
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"- (SINGING) Rock the boat - (SINGING) Don't rock the boat, baby"
The Simpsons
"- Rock the boat - Don't tip the boat over"
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"So under my reign as vice president,"
The Simpsons
"we sent three mathletes to the state finals."
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"All of the tenth graders' lima beans germinated."
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"- ALL: Yeah! - Yeah, you should be proud."
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"So if you want to build on that, vote for me,"
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"Now I'm gonna throw it back to a guy who, in my opinion,"
The Simpsons
"is the classiest principal in the business,"
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"(DONDALINGER COUGHING)"
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"Ladies, I've seen him up close. And, yes, his eyes are that green."
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"Our next candidate is Homer Simpson."
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"Please hold your applause forever."
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"(MICROPHONE WHISTLING)"
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"My fellow Wildcats."
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"My name is Homer Simpson."
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"(LOUDL Y) There are many reasons why I..."
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"I... I..."
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"You know what?"
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"(CONFUSED MURMURING)"
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"I spent all night working on that speech."
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"But now I realize the best thing to do is speak from my heart."
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"- WOMAN: His heart! - So..."
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"I feel that... Fellow Wildcats..."
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"(STAMMERING IN FEAR)"
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"Webster defines... In the words of Ted Nugent..."
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"(GASPS) Here comes Vance!"
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"- Hey, Vance! - Thanks for coming out."
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"- Hey, Gail. I love your bangs. - Hi."
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"There they are. My favorite mixed-race couple."
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"Guys that popular and confident are never truly happy."
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"- He looks happy. - Tears of a clown."
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"He's not crying. And he's not known for clowning."
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"Exception that proves the rule. If losers like me know one thing,"
The Simpsons
"it's that deep down, winners like him are miserable."
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"Watch, I'll prove it. Angry nut coming through!"
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"Clear a path, boys."
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"(HOMER MURMURING ANGRILY)"
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"- Hey, Vance. - Hey, Homer Simpson. How you been?"
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"Great. Thanks. Listen, settle a bet. Behind that smile, you're dying, right?"
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"Behind this smile is a bigger smile trying to get out."
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"Oh! Oh! Here it comes! Oh, yeah!"
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"Please! You gotta have some secret agony!"
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"I bet those fancy shoes hurt your feet."
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"No. Actually they're like two leather clouds."
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"- You want his number? - No. Yes."
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"Hey, Homer. You want to try my new Vance Connorpolitan?"
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"Like Vance, it is smooth, cool, and oh so sophisticated."
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"I'll just stick with my beer."
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"Homer, why are you so down on Vance Connor?"
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"- He gave me one of his kidneys. - Yeah, me, too."
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"Because when Vance beat me in that election, he ruined my life."
The Simpsons
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