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Clips from Friends - The One with Phoebe's Husband (S02E02)

"I can't believe you're dressing up for him."
Friends
"You're setting yourself up all over again."
Friends
"Okay, no."
Friends
"For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me."
Friends
"...to look nice for your gay husband."
Friends
"Darn it, we're all out of milk."
Friends
"Oh, I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing."
Friends
"- Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later. - Bye."
Friends
"- See you later, Rach. - Bye-bye, Julie."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"Hey, come on, cut it out."
Friends
"Hey. What?"
Friends
"- Can I ask you something? - Sure."
Friends
"Eh. What?"
Friends
"- Come on, talk to me. - Okay."
Friends
"What's the longest you've been in a relationship before..."
Friends
"...having the sex?"
Friends
"Why? Who's not...? Are you and Julie not...?"
Friends
"Are you and Julie not having sex?"
Friends
"Well..."
Friends
"Technically?"
Friends
"- No. - Wow."
Friends
"Or is it because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?"
Friends
"No. No. She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything."
Friends
"I mean, we do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff like..."
Friends
"No, no, no. Don't need to know the details."
Friends
"It's me."
Friends
"You know, I've only been with one woman my whole life..."
Friends
"...and she turned out to be a lesbian."
Friends
"Uh-huh."
Friends
"So now I've got myself all psyched out."
Friends
"It's become, like, this..."
Friends
"...this thing, and I..."
Friends
"You must just think I'm weird."
Friends
"No. No, no, no. I don't think it's weird."
Friends
"I think... I think, um, in fact..."
Friends
"- In fact, you know what I think? - What?"
Friends
"I think it's sexy."
Friends
"Sexy?"
Friends
"Let me tell you something. As a woman..."
Friends
"...there is nothing sexier..."
Friends
"...than a man who does not want to have sex."
Friends
"I'd wait."
Friends
"- You'd wait? - Yes, absolutely. I would wait..."
Friends
"...and wait..."
Friends
"Then I'd wait some more."
Friends
"- Really? - Oh, yeah."
Friends
"...she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man."
Friends
"That just means it's working."
Friends
"Women really want this?"
Friends
"More than jewelry."
Friends
"- Phoebe. - Ta-da."
Friends
"Hi."
Friends
"Ah, look at you. You look great."
Friends
"- So do you. Sparkly. - Thanks."
Friends
"So..."
Friends
"Wow. This is pretty wonderful, huh, Mr. Major Capades Guy."
Friends
"I remember when you were just like King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice."
Friends
"You always said I'd make it."
Friends
"Yeah, well, you know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo."
Friends
"God, I missed you."
Friends
"- I'm gonna get changed. - Okay."
Friends
"Um, now."
Friends
"What? Pheebs."
Friends
"Oh. Right. Okay."
Friends
"The Matador, so..."
Friends
"Olé. Ha, ha."
Friends
"- Sweetie, can you hold this for a second? - Sure."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"- Uh, Julie? - Yeah."
Friends
"Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face."
Friends
"But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right."
Friends
"- Hi, everyone. Hi."
Friends
"Oh, listen, listen..."
Friends
"Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?"
Friends
"Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey."
Friends
"Good. Ahem. What did he say?"
Friends
"Basically, he told me to get over myself and just do it."
Friends
"So I thought about what you said and about what he said."
Friends
"Why, it's Joey's porno movie."
Friends
"Pop it in."
Friends
"I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're okay watching a video..."
Friends
"...filled with two-nippled people."
Friends
"Great. People having sex. That's just what I need to see."
Friends
"What's wrong with people having sex?"
Friends
"Well..."
Friends
"...and, uh, degrading to women and females..."
Friends
"And, uh, the lighting's always unflattering."
Friends
"And..."
Friends
"- Monica, help me out here. - Hell, I wanna see Joey."
Friends
"So is there, like, a story, or do they just start doing it right..."
Friends
"Oh. Never mind."
Friends
"Okay, now, wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen."
Friends
"All I say is, she better get the job."
Friends
"Looks to me like he's the one getting the job."
Friends
"Shh. Hey, here I come. Here I come."
Friends
"See, I'm coming to fix the copier."
Friends
"I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?""
Friends
"So I just watch them have sex."
Friends
"You know, that's bad for the paper tray."
Friends
"- Nice work, my friend. - Thank you."
Friends
"There I am. There I am. There I am."
Friends
"So, um... So, what's up? You came to see me yesterday."
Friends
"Oh, yeah, um..."
Friends
"I kind of need a divorce."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"How come?"
Friends
"Um, actually, I'm getting married again."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"Oh, God, I don't know how to tell you this."
Friends
"I'm straight."
Friends
"I don't understand. I don't understand. How can you be straight?"
Friends
"I mean, you're so smart and funny..."
Friends
"But you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore."
Friends
"So how long have you known?"
Friends
"I thought I was supposed to be something else."
Friends
"You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in."
Friends
"And, um... And there's actually a woman?"
Friends
"- Her name's Debra. - Oh."
Friends
"Well, is she the first that you've been with?"
Friends
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