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Clips from Scrubs - My Turf War (S06E06)

"Look, the man wanted something done, I did it."
Scrubs
"your rash move doesn't cause too many problems."
Scrubs
"but Nancy is ready to roll. What's the plan?"
Scrubs
"Why would she be pissed?"
Scrubs
"- Hey, Elliot, are you and Melody okay? - No."
Scrubs
"She wouldn't even tell me why she's so pissed."
Scrubs
"God, it's so weird how we always regress"
Scrubs
"when we're with people from our past, you know?"
Scrubs
"I mean, she's being just as passive-aggressive"
Scrubs
"as she was when we were 19."
Scrubs
"I'm actually wishing she had a boyfriend I could go mack with"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Okay, this has gone far enough."
Scrubs
"You can't just mess up Elliot and Melody's friendship."
Scrubs
"You have to come clean. Tell her you started their fight."
Scrubs
"I guess it doesn't really matter, anyway."
Scrubs
"I mean, she's already left town."
Scrubs
"That can't be good."
Scrubs
"Look, in this world, when you're trying to settle a score,"
Scrubs
"Under no circumstances can you ever perform unnecessary surgery"
Scrubs
"Did I get drunk last night and send you an email"
Scrubs
"why you performed surgery on that patient?"
Scrubs
"instead of taking away your license."
Scrubs
"Okay, how many beers?"
Scrubs
"I'd say about eight before she would do you."
Scrubs
"Yeah, it was just like old times."
Scrubs
"Hit that thing. It stops like that all the time."
Scrubs
"Good. Elliot, we're adults now."
Scrubs
"I don't want to behave the way we used to, and I'm not leaving mad."
Scrubs
"You told J.D. That it was weird I haven't changed since college."
Scrubs
"What the hell are you doing?"
Scrubs
"I'm reading Mr. Gertner's chart,"
Scrubs
"I'm also standing, breathing, thinking and now talking,"
Scrubs
"Turk's career is in danger and you're going to toss that attitude my way?"
Scrubs
"No, you tortured him into playing a game"
Scrubs
"he shouldn't have been playing."
Scrubs
"Never mind that you and I are supposed to be friends,"
Scrubs
"my husband would help support."
Scrubs
"He asked me to occasionally"
Scrubs
"toss him a good surgery."
Scrubs
"Forgot to pay my check."
Scrubs
"- Here's a credit card for you. - BARMAN: Thanks."
Scrubs
"Someone want to tap that jukebox for me?"
Scrubs
"I try and do that and I"
Scrubs
"do it,"
Scrubs
"when I've tried."
Scrubs
"- Sorry, the, machine's busted. - Unfortunate. Okay..."
Scrubs
"He doesn't "got change," that's how he says that. Okay."
Scrubs
"You never tease me when I order the 'tinis."
Scrubs
"Drink them myself."
Scrubs
"How much is that weird mounted fox tail?"
Scrubs
"You'll probably keep that then. Probably a family heirloom."
Scrubs
"You know what, Frank? I'm going to do it."
Scrubs
"$ 100 for one Appletini"
Scrubs
"- Found a fiver in my pocket. - No."
Scrubs
"Well, of course I'd like to get to know you better."
Scrubs
"(KNOCKING)"
Scrubs
"what I'm about to say is so painful,"
Scrubs
"that I plan on erasing it from my memory tonight"
Scrubs
"by drinking a fifth of Jack and challenging..."
Scrubs
"Go ahead."
Scrubs
"I know that Gandhi messed up, I do."
Scrubs
"And why is that?"
Scrubs
"Or because he's a good person,"
Scrubs
"Then I'll think about it. Bye-bye."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Sometimes, standing up for someone still isn't enough"
Scrubs
"to make the guilt go away."
Scrubs
"No scar!"
Scrubs
"(GASPING)"
Scrubs
"You never operated on him?"
Scrubs
"But he said he watched his own surgery."
Scrubs
"and then put Mrs. Nawabi's heart surgery on the TV."
Scrubs
"Dude."
Scrubs
"Stop being mean to my husband."
Scrubs
"And, of course, playing the cantankerous Chief of Medicine,"
Scrubs
"Dr. Bob Kelso!"
Scrubs
"KELSO: That was fun."
Scrubs
"- I'm so proud of you, baby. - You know I do what I do..."
Scrubs
"J.D., what the hell were you doing in there?"
Scrubs
"I don't know."
Scrubs
"because you canceled your plans for Melody but not for me."
Scrubs
"She was only in town for a couple of days."
Scrubs
"I get it, I'm an idiot. It's just that, Elliot,"
Scrubs
"when was the last time we made any time for each other?"
Scrubs
"I want to be Turk's best friend and your best friend."
Scrubs
"I just don't want to lose you."
Scrubs
"Come on, now, mush!"
Scrubs
"Mr. Randolph's Nissen fundoplication is all yours."
Scrubs
"There's nothing you can do to stop it, even if you wanted to."
Scrubs
"No, I need it. Now, go."
Scrubs
"It's my screensaver."
Scrubs
"How do you play?"
Scrubs
"so you should be suffering from a pretty severe case"
Scrubs
"to show Elliot your mad 'oni skills?"
Scrubs
"Okay, check it out. She and Elliot went to college together, right?"
Scrubs
"Bus Driver Dance us home."
Scrubs
"You know how Mel got around campus?"
Scrubs
"(BOY GRUNTING)"
Scrubs
"(SIZZLING)"
Scrubs
"I don't even know why I'm speaking with you."
Scrubs
"Breathe, breathe."
Scrubs
"Please, it's Mel. I dropped everything."
Scrubs
"Who?"
Scrubs
"the ghost?"
Scrubs
"I was up all night learning to rollerblade."
Scrubs
""Splenic impart"?"
Scrubs
"is actually just what, Lloyd?"
Scrubs
"I just wonder what she thinks, you know, seeing me."
Scrubs
"She actually said she thought it was a little weird"
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, I have to get going."
Scrubs
"maybe we could use that rain check tonight and hang out."
Scrubs
"Yeah."
Scrubs
"Maybe they'll just slap you with a suspension,"
Scrubs
"Hello, Elliot."
Scrubs
"Did I not mention that?"
Scrubs
"and that I just had a baby that I was hoping"
Scrubs
"Don't worry about it."
Scrubs
"can never really"
Scrubs
"One moment, Perry. I want to see this."
Scrubs
"He thinks he did."
Scrubs
"Look, you know what it's like when you're in a relationship."
Scrubs
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