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Clips from The Office - Gay Witch Hunt (S03E03)

"What about Phyllis?"
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"She makes absolutely no attempt to be feminine."
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"I'm getting married to Bob Vance. STANLEY: You are?"
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"When did you get that? MICHAEL: That's great."
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"Congratulations, Phyllis. That is great, and frankly, kind of amazing."
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"See? Everybody has a chance. Thank you."
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"But, still Phyllis, in college,"
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"did you ever experiment with other women?"
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"A lot of women do."
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"No, and you knew me in high school."
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"Of course, we all thought you were gay in high school."
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"Right."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Well, I just like to look good, okay? So..."
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"You sound pretty defensive, Michael."
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"No. I am just coming out myself. I am coming out hetero!"
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"I think the problem with this office is"
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"that you are sending mixed signals about my being here."
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"No. No. The only signal that I am sending is gay good!"
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"Look, if I was gay,"
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"I would be the most flamboyant gay you've ever seen."
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"I would be leading the parade covered in feathers and just..."
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"I'd be waving that rainbow flag."
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"This has been the worst,"
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"most backwards day of my life."
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"You misunderstand... Okay. All right..."
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"You know what? Okay. Okay."
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"You ready? What are you doing?"
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"I am going to embrace Oscar. You might want to watch us, Angela,"
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"No. We are going to make a statement."
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"You and I are going to make a statement together."
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"Oscar is my friend. I'd rather not."
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"And I just don't care who sees it."
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"Doesn't bother me. Really, I really would rather not."
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"Come here, friend. I'd really rather not."
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"You're my friend. No! No!"
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"I don't want to touch you. Ever considered that?"
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"You're ignorant and insulting and small."
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"All right."
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"I'm sorry. Michael, I'm sorry."
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"All right."
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"You're not faggy. I know you are."
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"You're a good guy. You, too."
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"DWIGHT: Michael appears to be gay, too."
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"And yet he is my friend."
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"I guess I do have a gay friend."
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"You know what, I'm going to raise the stakes."
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"and I want you to burn this into your brains."
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"that I want you people to remember for a long time to come."
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"Whenever you come into the office, I want you to think about this."
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"Yes, we do. What?"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"I did it!"
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"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
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"See,"
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"We're all still here."
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"Oh, come on, Dwight! Come on, man!"
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"but we can't lose the spirit of childlike wonder."
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"Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
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"Like me and Jan."
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"Or Oscar and some guy. Life is short."
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"When two people find each other,"
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"BROWN: It is very easy for you to be a hero."
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"All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness."
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"I'm glad if today spurred social change."
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"But, you know what, even if it didn't,"
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"at least we put this matter to bed."
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"That's what she said. Or he said."
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"but Jan offered me a three-month, paid vacation and a company car."
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"All I had to do was sign something saying I won't sue."
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"Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay."
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""Hope this helps. Jim.""
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"What are you doing? (SHUSHING) Don't be scared."
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"(BEEPING)"
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"Oh, no."
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"It will say, "Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate"
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"I cry myself to sleep. Jim."
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"You know? I'm just..."
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"JIM: Why did I transfer to Stamford?"
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"He's always looking at the camera, like this."
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"What is that?"
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"What about Oscar?"
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"I'll try Brookstone."
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"Chicken or fish?"
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"Good. I'm glad."
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"I got to win her back."
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"primarily Angela, and that's your fault."
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"All right, everybody in the conference room!"
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"who makes love to other men."
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"Gays aren't necessarily who you think they are..."
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"I bet a lot of straight men wished that applied to them"
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"And I take that as a compliment."
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"I'm going to put my money where my mouth is."
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"That was a good idea. Come on."
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"I don't think we need to do this..."
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"That's what faggy means."
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"Yeah. He told me this morning."
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"Come on."
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"We are not in the playground anymore. There are new rules."
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"Apparently you called Oscar faggy."
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"That'll show them."
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"to everybody here however you want to do it?"
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"That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that."
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"I graduated in four years, I never studied once,"
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"because of some more problems at the Scranton branch."
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"I think Angela might be gay."
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"because you can't catch anything. Here we go."
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"I'm sorry I called you faggy. I know. I know."
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