Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Seinfeld - The Diplomat's Club (S06E06)

"- I think they're trying to screw me. - Of course they're trying to screw you."
Seinfeld
"That's what they do. They can make up anything."
Seinfeld
"Nobody knows."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Elaine. - Yeah, yeah, hello."
Seinfeld
"- Was it something I said? - Yes, as a matter of fact."
Seinfeld
"Really?"
Seinfeld
"He's come up with some other move. You should see this thing."
Seinfeld
"You know what it's like?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, this move is no good, Jerry. It's just taking up a lot of my time."
Seinfeld
"And I will not stand by and allow him to perform this move on me..."
Seinfeld
"...while a perfectly good move is just sitting in the barn doing nothing."
Seinfeld
"Let me ask you a question. This new move..."
Seinfeld
"...is there a knuckle involved in any way?"
Seinfeld
"I think that's mine."
Seinfeld
"I'm not surprised."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I need you to do me a favour."
Seinfeld
"This garage is trying to screw me."
Seinfeld
"An estimate? How am I supposed to do that?"
Seinfeld
"Look, here's the work order with everything that broke."
Seinfeld
"Just kind of bring it up at the right time and find out."
Seinfeld
"- All right, listen, I'll see you guys later. - All right."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Assman. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"- Well, this is Sally. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"- Shall we go? All right. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"You're not the only one improving yourself."
Seinfeld
"I got things to do too."
Seinfeld
"Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me."
Seinfeld
"He stopped short? That's my move."
Seinfeld
"What do you charge for blown shocks?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, like a terrible gasket."
Seinfeld
"- What is all this? - Nothing, nothing."
Seinfeld
"What kind of car is it?"
Seinfeld
"Any kind of a Swedish car."
Seinfeld
"Is that with the parts and labour?"
Seinfeld
"No. Dave, no, please. Not the knuckle."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"...that was great."
Seinfeld
"It just came to me."
Seinfeld
"I've never in my life- I've- What was that?"
Seinfeld
"You mean in the end?"
Seinfeld
"- What's that? - What?"
Seinfeld
"- On your hand? Let me see. - Nothing. I don't know. It's a mole."
Seinfeld
"I wanna see what's on your hand. Give me your hand."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. Crib notes? You've got crib notes?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, you're sick."
Seinfeld
"You know, it's not the SATs."
Seinfeld
"Assman? I'll give him Assman!"
Seinfeld
"They are ripping me off."
Seinfeld
"No move is worth this."
Seinfeld
"Are you kidding? He could do every move I've ever done."
Seinfeld
"Do you know what a good mechanic is worth? You can't compare that to sex."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Mr. Costanza, what's-? - Where's your friend, Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"- He stopped short. - What do you mean?"
Seinfeld
"You think I don't know what that's about?"
Seinfeld
"That's my own move. I used it on Estelle 40 years ago."
Seinfeld
"Really? Stopping short? That's a good move."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey, Frank."
Seinfeld
"Don't Frankme. I know what you did. How dare you stop short with my wife?"
Seinfeld
"Come on, Frank, relax. I don't know what you're talking about."
Seinfeld
"You think I don't know, Assman?"
Seinfeld
"To think I almost split the profits on the Mansiere with you."
Seinfeld
"- Assman! - Yeah, he's the Assman."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, he's the Assman."
Seinfeld
"- Which one is the son? - I am."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, you didn't by any chance recently get the wrong license plates?"
Seinfeld
"Mi/ion-1 shot, doc. Mi/ion-1."
Seinfeld
"- Fusilli? - You know, the corkscrew pasta."
Seinfeld
"It was a fusilli Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Oh, I was so worried."
Seinfeld
"- Georgie, I'm a divorcée. - You're not a divorcée."
Seinfeld
"...to electroshock me back into coherence."
Seinfeld
"Wait a second, my move?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, but I like the move."
Seinfeld
"That's not new."
Seinfeld
"I don't know how you can trust any of his moves now."
Seinfeld
"- You feel better? - Yeah, much better."
Seinfeld
"So, what's the move? Because I need something."
Seinfeld
"...one must be certain that it's going to be used in a conscientious way."
Seinfeld
"On your bed, you got a headboard? You'll need a headboard."
Seinfeld
"- How tall is she? - Five-foot-4, why?"
Seinfeld
"See the microphone?"
Seinfeld
"Get it?"
Seinfeld
"- Assman? - Yeah, Assman, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"There's my phone."
Seinfeld
"Hey, David."
Seinfeld
"What move? My move. The one I told you about."
Seinfeld
"What, are you kidding? I was doing that before I knew you."
Seinfeld
"If you wanna do it out of town, okay. But not in the city."
Seinfeld
"Well, stop it."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, really? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"And it was all done by laser. I don't even need bandages."
Seinfeld
"Do me a favour. Don't even do the move anymore."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - Get an estimate on my car from him."
Seinfeld
"That's fusilli Jerry."
Seinfeld
"You can't face the fact that I'm improving myself."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, let me ask you a question. - Sure."
Seinfeld
"I mean..."
Seinfeld
"- Let me see. - Just a little dirt."
Seinfeld
"...I stop short."
Seinfeld
"They say this guy's the best."
Seinfeld
"I'm Dr. Cooperman."
Seinfeld
"So you're the Assman."
Seinfeld
"It got stuck in me. I had to go to the proctologist."
Seinfeld
"Ma, your eyes!"
Seinfeld
"That's good, it obscures her view."
Seinfeld
"He's good. He's very good."
Seinfeld
"We were in the garage. You know how garages are."
Seinfeld
"Otherwise you could really hurt your neck."
Seinfeld
"- When did you do this? - In my spare time."
Seinfeld
"Never. It's always an accident."
Seinfeld
"When's the next time you're gonna see him?"
Seinfeld
"No doctor would put that on his car."
Seinfeld
"You don't care if he does the move anymore?"
Seinfeld
"It's not even a question of that."
Seinfeld
"A counterclockwise swirl."
Seinfeld
"- You're kidding. - No, I'm not."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God. Oh, God, Dave!"
Seinfeld
"Number one, take her leg-"
Seinfeld
Show more clips