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Clips from Seinfeld - The Diplomat's Club (S06E06)

"Yeah, good for you."
Seinfeld
"You have to look your best. You're out there now."
Seinfeld
"She's not out there."
Seinfeld
"- So who's your doctor? - Bakersaul."
Seinfeld
"He worked on this kid from Guatemala with no nose..."
Seinfeld
"...turned him into Ricardo Montalban."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Kramer, what are you doing Tuesday?"
Seinfeld
"Tuesday?"
Seinfeld
"Why doesn't he pick you up after the operation?"
Seinfeld
"He's got the car with the seats you like."
Seinfeld
"- I don't care. - Yeah, I know."
Seinfeld
"- Well, giddyup. - All right."
Seinfeld
"I'm here to pick up my new plates. My name is Kramer. Cosmo Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- All right. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Thanks."
Seinfeld
"No, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman."
Seinfeld
"I think there's been a mistake."
Seinfeld
"- What's your name again? - Cosmo Kramer."
Seinfeld
"No, I'm not the Assman."
Seinfeld
"Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are."
Seinfeld
"How do you feel?"
Seinfeld
"Fine."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"No, nothing."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"- I was with David Puddy last night. - Yeah, so?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, there is no confusing that move with any other move."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe it. He stole my move."
Seinfeld
"The two of you must have had quite a little chat."
Seinfeld
"Oh, it wasn't like that. I didn't even mention you."
Seinfeld
"They're conducive to sex talk. It's a high-testosterone area."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'm going to that garage to tell him to stop doing it."
Seinfeld
"- Well, wait- Wait a second. - What?"
Seinfeld
"Isn't that a little rash?"
Seinfeld
"No, he stole my move."
Seinfeld
"He doesn't even do it exactly the same."
Seinfeld
"He uses a pinch at the end instead of the swirl."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, the pinch. I've done the pinch."
Seinfeld
"You know, it's strange, because he's such an honest mechanic."
Seinfeld
"I know, he's probably the only honest mechanic in New York."
Seinfeld
"So he stole my move, and he's using it on Elaine."
Seinfeld
"You told David Puddy your move, and you didn't tell me?"
Seinfeld
"- Give me a bite. - Can I just get it open first?"
Seinfeld
"I can't believe you're hoarding sex moves."
Seinfeld
"I'm rubbing two sticks together, you're walking around with a Zippo."
Seinfeld
"That's good. That's very good."
Seinfeld
"I'm working like a dog here. Give me a moan, something."
Seinfeld
"I'd settle for a belch, for God's sake. Come on, let's have it."
Seinfeld
"All right, George, I'm gonna tell you. But I just want to make sure-"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, it's in the vault. I'm putting it in the vault."
Seinfeld
"The point is, when something like this is passed along..."
Seinfeld
"- ... pell-mell or willy-nilly. - You gonna tell me or not?"
Seinfeld
"Good."
Seinfeld
"You can't have more than a 1 foot differential in your heights."
Seinfeld
"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."
Seinfeld
"I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl."
Seinfeld
"I feel the swirl is a great capper."
Seinfeld
"But it's not written in stone."
Seinfeld
"There you go, buddy."
Seinfeld
"It's made from fusilli pasta."
Seinfeld
"- Why fusilli? - Because you're silly."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Well, thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"- So did you get your new plates? - Oh, yeah, I got my new plates."
Seinfeld
"But they mixed them up."
Seinfeld
"Somebody got mine, and I got their vanity plates."
Seinfeld
"I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman."
Seinfeld
"Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's."
Seinfeld
"It doesn't have to be someone who gets lots of woman."
Seinfeld
"It could be just some guy with a big ass."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, or it could be a proctologist. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Proctologist. - No, come on."
Seinfeld
"Every proctologist's story ends in the same way:"
Seinfeld
"It was a million-1 shot, doc. Million-1."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hi, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what's the story? I hear you're doing my move."
Seinfeld
"You used it on Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- All you told me about was the end. - The ending is the whole thing."
Seinfeld
"Without the ending, it's nothing. You had nothing."
Seinfeld
"That ending was so obvious. I would've figured that out anyway."
Seinfeld
"Didn't need you to tell me that stupid twist."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, I know. You do the pinch. - Yeah. That's right."
Seinfeld
"You're nothing but a hack."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you what I'll do."
Seinfeld
"The next time your car breaks down, take that out of town."
Seinfeld
"- Fine. - Good."
Seinfeld
"What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"I'm..."
Seinfeld
"...you know..."
Seinfeld
"...pleasuring you."
Seinfeld
"- You don't like the move? - No, I don't."
Seinfeld
"It feels like aliens poking at my body."
Seinfeld
"I'll just go back to my usual routine."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yes, yes."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry. - What?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - He's ruined it for me."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, come on. Please? - No, he called me a hack."
Seinfeld
"I'm just not into doing it anymore."
Seinfeld
"So that's it?"
Seinfeld
"I'll come up with some new stuff."
Seinfeld
"You can't cry for at least 10 days. You can ruin the operation."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay."
Seinfeld
"Yes, my son's friend should be here any minute."
Seinfeld
"I just can't get over how fantastic you look."
Seinfeld
"This takes 20 years off."
Seinfeld
"Yo, Assman. Look at the Assman."
Seinfeld
"- Did he say, Assman? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my goodness."
Seinfeld
"Boy, I never dreamed it could make such a difference."
Seinfeld
"Well, you must have done something wrong."
Seinfeld
"You probably screwed up the order. Did you close with the swirl?"
Seinfeld
"You're supposed to close with the swirl?"
Seinfeld
"There's a progression there. I told you to write it down."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"You're gonna give it a bad name."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"What? $2800?"
Seinfeld
"That's the estimate on my car?"
Seinfeld
"What's to think about? Puddy's not gonna cheat you."
Seinfeld
"- Except it's not Puddy. - What happened to Puddy?"
Seinfeld
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