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Clips from Seinfeld - The Diplomat's Club (S06E06)

"Walk around the front, open up the hood."
Seinfeld
"That's the main reason you want to do that."
Seinfeld
"You're looking in there, hoping you're going to see something in there..."
Seinfeld
"...so simple, so obvious, so incredibly easy to fix..."
Seinfeld
"...even you can handle it."
Seinfeld
"Like a giant onloff switch turned off."
Seinfeld
"So you're going out with David Puddy."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. What, is that a problem?"
Seinfeld
"Elaine, you always care who an ex-girlfriend dates."
Seinfeld
"I don't know, I just can't see you with a mechanic."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, right, right."
Seinfeld
"...on machines, and then they come home..."
Seinfeld
"...dripping with animal sexuality like Stanley Kowalski."
Seinfeld
"I mean, do they bring a lobster in every day hoping, Today's the day."
Seinfeld
"I think we really need to be in front of a television set."
Seinfeld
"And if I see you out there..."
Seinfeld
"Well, anyway, the operation is on Tuesday..."
Seinfeld
"...and I need you to drive me home because I'll be all drugged up."
Seinfeld
"But I can't drive anybody anywhere until I go down to get my new plates."
Seinfeld
"Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- Sign right here, please. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"Cosmo Kramer. You are the Assman."
Seinfeld
"Something the matter?"
Seinfeld
"He did the move."
Seinfeld
"- What move? - You know, the move."
Seinfeld
"David Puddy used my move?"
Seinfeld
"- Yes, yes. - Are you sure?"
Seinfeld
"What else did you tell him?"
Seinfeld
"Because of all the pistons and the lube jobs?"
Seinfeld
"His whole repertoire could be lifted."
Seinfeld
"I need a move. You know I have no moves, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"This woman I'm dating is doing her nails during lovemaking."
Seinfeld
"- Nancy Klopper? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I've never seen anyone so bored."
Seinfeld
"This is not some parlour trick to be used..."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"I got a headboard."
Seinfeld
"- Is it padded? - No."
Seinfeld
"George, if you can master this, you'll never be alone again."
Seinfeld
"He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous."
Seinfeld
"- Is it a clockwise swirl? - I prefer clockwise."
Seinfeld
"- What is it? - It's fusilli Jerry."
Seinfeld
"See, the hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual."
Seinfeld
"- What do they say? - Assman."
Seinfeld
"Who would order a license plate that says Assman?"
Seinfeld
"Well, they usually have a very good sense of humour."
Seinfeld
"You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away."
Seinfeld
"See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there."
Seinfeld
"- So where you gonna stick this? - I'll tell you where I'd like to stick it."
Seinfeld
"What move?"
Seinfeld
"You can't come up with your own stuff, so you steal other people's?"
Seinfeld
"Are you through, because I've gotta get back to work."
Seinfeld
"George!"
Seinfeld
"I can't do the move."
Seinfeld
"Ca/ me. 36-24-46. I think I have what you're /ooking for."
Seinfeld
"I must caution you about one thing:"
Seinfeld
"Now, is someone coming to pick you up?"
Seinfeld
"- Hey, the Assman's in town. - You got that straight."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. Should've written it down."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - E/aine."
Seinfeld
"No, don't even do anything."
Seinfeld
"We had a fight about the move. I took it to this other place."
Seinfeld
"David Puddy won't do the move anymore."
Seinfeld
"- What is it? - It's a lot of just fancy stuff."
Seinfeld
"It's like big-budget movie with a story that goes nowhere."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact there is."
Seinfeld
"What? What is this?"
Seinfeld
"- Fusilli Jerry? - Yeah, Kramer made it."
Seinfeld
"I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday."
Seinfeld
"Just take your mail and go home. I have things to do."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Two- 300?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know, maybe 500."
Seinfeld
"- What about a bad gasket? - Bad gasket?"
Seinfeld
"I'm just taking an interest in what you do."
Seinfeld
"All together that could run about 1600."
Seinfeld
"It's a very complicated move. I couldn't remember it all."
Seinfeld
"Sixteen hundred dollars? That's all?"
Seinfeld
"- So, what are you gonna do? - That's it. I'm going back to Puddy."
Seinfeld
"In the car with my wife. He stopped short."
Seinfeld
"You're not kidding it's a good move."
Seinfeld
"- Bro. - Mansiere!"
Seinfeld
"- Bro! - Mansiere!"
Seinfeld
"If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it."
Seinfeld
"He had to use corkscrew pasta."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, Jerry, come here. Take a look at this."
Seinfeld
"The name on the boat. Look at it."
Seinfeld
"I just want you to know that this won't take long and he's going to be fine."
Seinfeld
"Yes, I'm still waiting for the Motor Vehicle Bureau to straighten it out."
Seinfeld
"I've been waiting for hours."
Seinfeld
"I fell on some fusilli."
Seinfeld
"The proctologist? Are you okay?"
Seinfeld
"- Ma, don't cry! - Oh, I can't help it!"
Seinfeld
"The worst part about a car breaking down..."
Seinfeld
"You gotta go, All right, honey, I'm gonna go check it out."
Seinfeld
"I think he could've asked me. He's supposed to be a friend of mine."
Seinfeld
"I guess he figured you wouldn't care. It has been a few years."
Seinfeld
"You don't want someone you know..."
Seinfeld
"...and you don't want someone better than you."
Seinfeld
"Now, even though the latter is obviously impossible..."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, God. - ... the former still applies."
Seinfeld
"All those mechanics do is work all day with their hands..."
Seinfeld
"...and their big muscular arms..."
Seinfeld
"- What a huge turnoff that is. - All right."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look at that. They got lobster on the menu."
Seinfeld
"Who would order a lobster here?"
Seinfeld
"So what if they have a lobster?"
Seinfeld
"Suddenly you're a shellfish connoisseur?"
Seinfeld
"You take TV out of this relationship, it is just torture."
Seinfeld
"So I'm getting an eye job."
Seinfeld
"An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job."
Seinfeld
"You're just separated. You're a separatée."
Seinfeld
"- Well, I'm out there, George. - You're not out there."
Seinfeld
"- I am too. - You're not out there."
Seinfeld
"You can't be, because I am out there."
Seinfeld
"...there's not enough voltage in this world..."
Seinfeld
"This is the only time the doctor had."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer, hey! Come on over here. - I gotta go somewhere."
Seinfeld
"No, you're gonna sit down, you son of a gun."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm sitting down."
Seinfeld
"So, Kramer, I'm getting an eye job."
Seinfeld
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