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Clips from The Odd Couple - Pilot (S01E01)

"- Hello, Oscar Madison. - Casey!"
The Odd Couple
"Um, some of your mail"
The Odd Couple
"mysteriously found its way into my mailbox."
The Odd Couple
"- What?! - What?!"
The Odd Couple
"- Hmm. - I don't like to talk about it,"
The Odd Couple
"So what's the next step of this little mail trick?"
The Odd Couple
"I don't know. I've never gotten this far before."
The Odd Couple
"Sure. Why not?"
The Odd Couple
"Let me guess,"
The Odd Couple
"another neighbor with your mail."
The Odd Couple
"No. You are the only woman in the building"
The Odd Couple
"Aw."
The Odd Couple
"Hello, Oscar."
The Odd Couple
"Felix! What a surprise."
The Odd Couple
"Casey, this is my old friend Felix Unger."
The Odd Couple
"Is this... this is a bad time?"
The Odd Couple
"No, it's a good time, about to be a great time,"
The Odd Couple
"so yes, it's a bad time."
The Odd Couple
"Unless this is a major crisis."
The Odd Couple
"She wants a divorce."
The Odd Couple
"And that feels like a major crisis to you?"
The Odd Couple
"No, no, don't be ridiculous. Casey,"
The Odd Couple
"Of course."
The Odd Couple
"Stay strong."
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"I'm trying."
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"I... I'm sorry I ruined your date."
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"I just... I just didn't know who else to turn to."
The Odd Couple
"No, no, it's okay. I know divorce is brutal."
The Odd Couple
"Well, when Gaby left, she took the maid."
The Odd Couple
"under that pile."
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"You know what? Let's get out of here."
The Odd Couple
"We'll go eat something, and you can tell me the whole story."
The Odd Couple
"I can't tell you how much it means to have some..."
The Odd Couple
"What the hell are you doing?"
The Odd Couple
"Sorry, it's my sinuses. I've got..."
The Odd Couple
"Well, my neighbor has a cat."
The Odd Couple
"Yes, I'm sure that's it."
The Odd Couple
"Trial separation? You were in couples therapy for eight years,"
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"This is nice, Oscar. I've missed you."
The Odd Couple
"I'm... I'm sorry I haven't been around much the last year,"
The Odd Couple
"but it's just weird with our wives being such good friends."
The Odd Couple
"No, I know. Your wife hated me after the divorce."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, no, she hated you before the divorce."
The Odd Couple
"Still, I should have been there to help you with your pain."
The Odd Couple
"I threw myself a two-day party."
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"I woke up covered in bubble wrap."
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"A stripper had to pop me out."
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"One bubble at a time."
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"Felix, I'm just saying divorce is not the end of the world."
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"Oscar, Oscar, I told you, it's a trial separation."
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"and it's going to be..."
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"...Ashley."
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"stays in my pocket."
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"Wow, and she left you."
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"I'm telling you, buddy, being single together"
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"That was the night that I knew we were going to be friends."
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"Actually, I think I said, "He's our ride.""
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"I don't want to be free."
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"Look at this place. You are now single"
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"in the greatest city in the world."
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"This town is teeming with women."
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"Hey! Move it, you jackasses!"
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"See? There's one."
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"Maybe not the one."
The Odd Couple
"Well, thank you for tonight, Oscar,"
The Odd Couple
"but it's getting late, and I really should find a hotel."
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"Oh, don't be silly. You'll stay with me."
The Odd Couple
"Really? I wouldn't want to impose."
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"Are you kidding? We'll have fun."
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"I promise, you won't even know I'm there."
The Odd Couple
"Now, then, take off those sneakers,"
The Odd Couple
"I won't tell you what we're having..."
The Odd Couple
"but dirty fingers are a fon-don't."
The Odd Couple
"Oh, yeah, this is nice. I'm gonna get"
The Odd Couple
"a couple of these..."
The Odd Couple
"And your ten TVs."
The Odd Couple
"The next time my wife tells me I'm spending money"
The Odd Couple
"What the hell happened in here?"
The Odd Couple
"and cleaned the cards."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, my hands smelled like ammonia."
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"Like I could get her."
The Odd Couple
"I am starving."
The Odd Couple
"It's not. Felix insisted on cooking."
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"I'm just plating it."
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"if you have to smoke that cigar, please turn on"
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"the air purifier."
The Odd Couple
"Oh. Gentlemen..."
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"He's not gay."
The Odd Couple
"Are you sure? He seems a little gay."
The Odd Couple
"Ah."
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"You know, to just seem more evolved."
The Odd Couple
"You already have a black friend; what are you trying to prove?"
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"Teddy, I don't hear that air purifier!"
The Odd Couple
"Oscar, where have you been hiding this guy?"
The Odd Couple
"And can we shove him back in there?"
The Odd Couple
"I wish. We've been friends for years, but I didn't know"
The Odd Couple
"what it'd be like to live with him."
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"A horrible, horrible mistake."
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"Try one of the meat-free chicken wings."
The Odd Couple
"If a chicken had no meat,"
The Odd Couple
"There's no meat in any of this? Not even the meatballs?"
The Odd Couple
"No. No, there is not."
The Odd Couple
"Well, I just thought, with Oscar's high cholesterol..."
The Odd Couple
"Based on those pills in your medicine cabinet."
The Odd Couple
"You went into my medicine cabinet?"
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"How else would I put down shelf paper?"
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"Teddy, I've warned you, twice."
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"Hey! That's my beer!"
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"You could have put that in the gazpacho."
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"See you, Oscar."
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"Oh, guys, don't leave."
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"We can go without cigars for one night. We'll live longer."
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"They didn't leave, they fled, to a place called Nofelixstan!"
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"Thank God I bought Tupperware."
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"Felix, I'm trying to remain calm here,"
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"because I know you can't help yourself."
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"Clearly, you were sent from your planet to tidy up ours."
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"- But you have to stop. - Stop what?"
The Odd Couple
"the food-free food, the..."
The Odd Couple
"So, in other words, I'm getting on your nerves."
The Odd Couple
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