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Clips from New Girl - The Cubicle (S06E06)

"or that misguided month where I tried to be a manager"
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"at the dining room table."
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"You are absolutely Jobs."
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"And I'm Woz sitting next to you the whole time in a..."
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"slightly lower chair."
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"And speaking of jobs, by the way,"
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"you guys need to be like Winston"
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"and start getting jobs for Donovan."
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"Don't you basically work on ads for a living, Schmidt?"
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"Yeah, well, my current account is for a menopause pill"
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"that eliminates night sweats."
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"Oh, you're repping EstroFuel?"
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"You know, maybe I could use Donovan"
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"for the cover of The Pepperwood Chronicles."
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"I mean, he wouldn't be Pepperwood but..."
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"- He could be a great Gator. - Why don't you just use a real gator?"
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"What?"
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"- and clairvoyant brother. - Mm."
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"Oh, my bad. Sorry, I haven't read it yet."
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"- What? - What?"
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"- Doesn't matter. - Clear the next 24 hours."
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"- You haven't read it? - It's really not that big of a deal."
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"I also don't have an extra hard copy so let's just talk about something else."
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"Ooh, you can take mine."
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"I've highlighted the more sexual parts."
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"I'm not ashamed."
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"Now you get to read it."
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"Now I get to read it."
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"Robby's hospital bill is only $400."
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"- That seem low to you? - Did he have a minor procedure?"
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"- They put dog bones in his knee. - Then that's way off."
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"It's got to be much higher."
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"What? Teachers have money."
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"You guys know how large I live. I'm flush with cash."
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"I'm paying that bill."
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"I'm going to the bank right now."
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"I'm probably gonna take a limousine."
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"Taking a limo to the bank. What is she, a cartoon cat?"
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"- He kills it every time. - Every time, man."
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"- I feel close again. - I'm not."
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"Okay, Donovan, you just caught a shoplifter"
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"and now you're celebrating with a street taco."
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"- Get him, Donovan. - I love this."
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"- Get him, Cece. - Yeah, okay."
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"Donovan, you're a natural cop."
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"Hey, what agency are you from? 2L?"
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"Oh, um, hmm,"
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"I'm... from an agency that is"
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"- uh, quite, um... but... - Cece's Boys."
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"and the-and the boys are Cece's."
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"- All right. - You like it?"
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"I love it."
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"You're going downtown!"
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"Anything you say, Officer."
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"Oh, hi, Jess."
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"Cool, cool. Hey, um,"
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"I feel like Baby Bill here"
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"has a lot of brothers and sisters."
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"So what's the real total?"
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"No, Jess, that's it, I swear."
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"Come on, Robby, $400?"
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"I know what's going on here."
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"You think I'm too poor to pay."
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"- I... - But you know what?"
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"Would a poor person..."
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"do this?"
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"How much is it? How much?"
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"Jess, I'm not gonna tell you, okay?"
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"Unless you ask me repeatedly,"
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"in which case I'll eventually crack. Damn it."
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"- What's the total? - No."
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"- What's the total? - Not gonna tell you."
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"What's the total?"
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"Seinfeld."
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"Moment of truth."
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"Yep, here it is."
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"So please don't feel any pressure to like it,"
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"even though I spent 7,000 hours writing it."
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"So without further ado, or as Pepperwood would say,"
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"Ah-don't."
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"You'll get that when you read it."
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"Here it is."
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"Here it is."
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"I cannot wait to read this."
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"I cannot wait to R-E-A..."
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"- Jess! - Jess!"
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"Hey, there she is."
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"Oh, me, hey."
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"Sorry to interrupt. Are you re-reading The Pepperwood Chronicles?"
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"It is actually my very first time."
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"- I'll get out of your hair. - No, no, no, stay."
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"No, what is all that stuff in your hands?"
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"I'm totaling my assets."
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"It's really bleak."
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"You can't say that and then not elaborate, right?"
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"No, I feel like we should really unpack this."
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"Well, Robby's medical bills are a fifth of a million dollars"
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"and I'm freaking out."
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"I almost rounded up all my ballet flats"
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"and sold them on flattyflattyboomboom.com,"
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"the premier website for used flats."
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"Well, there are other options. There are other options."
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"Um, as somebody who passed the bar exam eight years ago,"
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"I could offer you legal expertise."
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"Oh! An almost lawyer and a sort of doctor."
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"Lucky me. Okay."
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"Strategy sesh in the cubicle."
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"- Together. - Yeah."
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"- Yeah, let's go together. - Great."
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"I rewrote the EstroFuel ad to star a hunk,"
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"and I got Donovan the gig."
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"Whoo!"
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"- Hey, everybody, - Yes!"
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"I just want to let you know, I've thought about it,"
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"and I'm quitting modeling"
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"to focus on applying to police school."
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"Honey, that is a very radical career change, okay?"
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"Picture this:"
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"your mom has night sweats."
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"She needs relief."
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