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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - Cheerleader (S01E01)

"Is this going to be a daily thing? Because we got a schedule..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Honey, let me handle this."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Son, are you on drugs?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"No, it's just..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wow, usually we don't get someone storming off from the table"
Malcolm in the Middle
"until after pancakes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, kids, it"s a new, improved Sleepy-Time Herbie"
Malcolm in the Middle
"now with super-sleepy fuzzy fur."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sleepy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can make you happy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can get you out of school."
Malcolm in the Middle
"All you got to do is ask them."
Malcolm in the Middle
"They're right there in the kitchen. Why don't you go ask them?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Go on. Yeah. Go ask them."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Can you buy me a Herbie? - No, they're too expensive."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Can you buy me a Herbie, please?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Didn't you just hear me? I said no."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I was freeing the alleged frogs, sir."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Killing live animals in the name of science is inhumane."
Malcolm in the Middle
"No! Inhumane is sitting in a car for two and a half hours"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I am tired of all the things you didn't mean to do."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You didn't mean to come in four hours after curfew."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You didn't mean to replace the morning reveille record"
Malcolm in the Middle
"with a selection from trip-hop wizard Tricky."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That would be a bold choice, sir."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm giving you exactly ten seconds"
Malcolm in the Middle
"for the rest of this semester."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Okay. Um, why shouldn't I have to clean toilets for the next three months?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's an intriguing question."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Is that a new tie, sir? - Four seconds."
Malcolm in the Middle
"What a beautiful beach."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Did you take this, sir?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You've truly captured your young male friend's Speedo."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That is a picture of me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Now if I were you, I wouldn't try to distract me and..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sir?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hmm?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Were you crying?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Just shut the door, Krelboyne."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Sobbing Resumes)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Sobbing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Ha! You're crying."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, man. You're crying."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's about a girl."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I should've just walked away."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wendy Finnerman... she hates me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm toilet-papering her house tonight."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Just try anything that doesn't make her cry."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I guess you can start off by finding out stuff about her."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, do the things she likes to do."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Is that before or after I go TP her house?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Go, Wildcats, go."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Cheering)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Screams)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why are you dressed like that?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I figured out what she likes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I saw her cheering for the football team,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"so I joined the cheerleading squad."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese, you're a guy. Guy cheerleaders are the lowest of the low."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Worse than band, worse than Krelboynes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, Chester? He's a cheerleader too."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Does a lot of solo work."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I tried to help him. I gave him advice."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I tried reasoning with him."
Malcolm in the Middle
"There's only one thing left to do..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Come in, cadet."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look, sir..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I have the floor."
Malcolm in the Middle
"we have had our share of conflicts."
Malcolm in the Middle
"And besides mental and physical abuse, sir,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"exactly which methods would those be?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"This photo made me realize something."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I used to be like you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Now, I am going to tell you a story about my life"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Son, do you know what a wet nurse is?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"All of the boys and girls on your street are my friends."
Malcolm in the Middle
"They all bought me. Your parents have lots of money."
Malcolm in the Middle
"They're just hiding it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Honestly, Hal, I don't know what's wrong with Reese."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, he's just a little slow."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, Mom, where's the iron?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Ah."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- It's a girl. - It's a girl."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hal, it's time for the talk."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I don't know what you mean."
Malcolm in the Middle
"The talk, Hal."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, geez, he's a little young, don't you think?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"all three boys are getting it at the same time."
Malcolm in the Middle
"So if we have any more kids, they're on their own."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'd really like a Herbie doll."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I know it's expensive, but I don't ask for a lot."
Malcolm in the Middle
"And I've been very good lately."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I want it! I want it! I want it! I want it!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Looks like he found the sugar."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, doesn't he look just like a little dust mop?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Ready?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hit it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-l-V-E!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Clapping)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What a... geek."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I never thought..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'd get... to say that."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, my God."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm a Krelboyne with a brother who's a cheerleader."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can wet my pants in public and it would be a lateral move."
Malcolm in the Middle
"...O- R-Y."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Victory... success!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Victory, yes!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Ow!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"So clumsy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You think your brother will lend me his corset?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"See, that comment was playing off the concept"
Malcolm in the Middle
"that we all have specific notions of gender-appropriate roles."
Malcolm in the Middle
"he made one final lunge for the rudder."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I ripped it from his hands and stared him down."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I left port that day a 16-year-old boy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, I was skeptical at first,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"but we do have something in common."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You know, how I was shipped off here and you were left with your wet nurse."
Malcolm in the Middle
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