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Clips from Malcolm in the Middle - Cheerleader (S01E01)

"That story had nothing to do with my mother."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well, that is none of your business."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I am not fixated."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Can you name one thing in your life that you don't blame on your mother?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Every time anybody denies a lie, they're called defensive."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Fine. I take it back. Your mother was a saint."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Does this look anything like a "Q'?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You're right. I'm terrible."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm just not coordinated unless I'm hitting somebody."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Listen to the words. Good. Boy. Cheerleader."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Quit while you still have some dignity. - Oh, and let her think I'm a quitter?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You can't even remember a simple six-step routine."
Malcolm in the Middle
"There's six steps?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yes. It's just right, left, right, left, reverse, pose."
Malcolm in the Middle
"You remember that from just watching?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"So... you know my routine?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's not that hard."
Malcolm in the Middle
"No, you don't. You're going to help me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- That is where I was going. - Oh. Good. Let's get started."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- No! - Come on! You have to!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- I know what's more embarrassing. - What?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Getting beaten into a coma by a good boy cheerleader."
Malcolm in the Middle
"She was a damn fine woman."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Stick your arms out! We have to sell this!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Can you move your hand a little to the left?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese: Spread your legs!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Malcolm: No!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Fight, fight, fight!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We got spirit!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wildcats, we got spirit!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"What, what, what, what?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"We got spirit! Whoo!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yes!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese, that was incredible."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Laughing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Sobbing Loudly)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Come on, Reese, I really have to go!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Your brother in there? - Where else?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese? Come on out. We need to have a talk."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Finally. - Malcolm, you're in on this talk too."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Me?! Why do I have to be here? - Relax."
Malcolm in the Middle
"It's going to be far worse for me than it is for you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Boys, this talk is very important,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"so I need your undivided attention."
Malcolm in the Middle
"that you be bored and squirm a lot."
Malcolm in the Middle
"when a boy really, really likes a girl."
Malcolm in the Middle
"There's a certain thing that happens between normal, healthy people."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I like you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Falsetto): I like you, too."
Malcolm in the Middle
"And if they love each other and take the proper precautions, they'll have sex."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- But I've told you about that already. - Not me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Well... ask your brothers."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Now, unfortunately, if the boy is from our family"
Malcolm in the Middle
"it goes a little more like this:"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- I like you. - I hate you!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Now I love you!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look at me! Look at me!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Look at me! Look at me! I'm crazy! I'm an idiot! I'm an idiot!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Watch me crash and burn! (Hooting)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"There's no explaining it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Francis has it: So does Uncle Pete."
Malcolm in the Middle
"because, through some fluke, I was lucky enough to get her."
Malcolm in the Middle
"There was so much I wanted to tell her,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"but she was gone..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"and I... I..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Come on, sir. Just say it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Whimpering)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Talking with you has helped me work out some things with my own family."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I mean, all those years I blamed my parents"
Malcolm in the Middle
"And all this time I was at least partially responsible"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- What are you doing? - What's the point?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You heard Dad. I'm doomed!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's before I spent an entire day with your hand on my ass! You owe me!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- I can't help you. - Yes, you can!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- You have to talk to Wendy! - I can't! I freeze up!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Even marrying Mom?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You're a good boy."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hmm?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"But, luckily... you're not a grown-up yet!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- Ta-da! - Wow!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Laughing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, come on, how cute is that?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Girl: Okay, set in a row."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Wendy?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Did you say something?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Like when a boy likes a girl... normal and healthy?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm sorry for hurting you all those times."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I like you, too."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Yeah."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Oh, my God!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Clamoring)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hello, Mother?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"So be sure to try the new and improved Chip-A-Roo cookie today."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I can make you taller, I can make you better-looking."
Malcolm in the Middle
"If you eat enough of me, I can make you president,"
Malcolm in the Middle
"maybe even emperor of the world."
Malcolm in the Middle
"- * Doo, be, doo-be-doo * - * Doobee, doobee, doobee-do *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* Doo, doo-wah. *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* Yes, no, maybe *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"* You're not the boss of me now *"
Malcolm in the Middle
"You look different."
Malcolm in the Middle
"...this type of governmental interference..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm incredibly boring. Do you know who's boring? Me."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Herbie"s not available in stores."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Your parents want to buy me for you."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Sir, I didn't mean..."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Glibness. What a surprise."
Malcolm in the Middle
"I'm still in here, perv."
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Laughing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"(Laughing)"
Malcolm in the Middle
"- What am I supposed to do? - I don't know."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Go, Wildcats, go, go."
Malcolm in the Middle
"That's it."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Reese!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Why didn't you join the football team, doofus?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"In the short time that you have been under my care"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I've taken the liberty of canceling your next three classes."
Malcolm in the Middle
"Mom? Dad?"
Malcolm in the Middle
"I want it! I want it! I want it!"
Malcolm in the Middle
"Hey, Malcolm."
Malcolm in the Middle
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