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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Keep 'Em Separated (S02E02)

"It's too late. I should've told her before."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Now it's gonna seem like I'm hiding something."
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"What if they run into each other?"
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"Nicole's in the 8th grade. That's a different hallway."
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"Yeah, what about the cafeteria?"
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"Or the tetherball court?"
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"And let's not forget a little place called"
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"the girls' bathroom."
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"What am I gonna do?!"
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"Eddie, look, all we got to do is..."
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"We gotta keep 'em separated."
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"You know, like the song?"
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"There she is."
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"Okay, so, she may be attractive,"
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"Hey, Jessica. What are you doing here?"
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"This must be Tony. Why did your parents name you that?"
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"That's a man's name. It's very misleading."
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"- It's short for Antonia. - How convenient."
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"You must be Jessica, Louis' wife."
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"and most people who play are men."
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"It's more like I hang around men trying to pick up pool halls."
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"You have no power here, witch."
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"You heard me, demon."
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"Come on, Louis. Let's go."
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"Uh, Jessica, we're in the middle of a game."
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"Oh, it's an emergency."
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"Of course he did."
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"Oh, I'm a locksmith."
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"No. Uh, thank you."
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"We don't need it."
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"Okay."
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"Whew, that was tough."
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"But it worked."
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"We kept Alison and Nicole apart all day."
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"I thought they were gonna talk in the lunch line."
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"But luckily Trent stepped in with a distraction."
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""Trent, it's time for church!""
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"Thanks for your help, guys."
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"Now we just need to keep it up until Nicole graduates."
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"Hopefully."
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"Don't wipe off the rouge yet, boys."
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"- What? - They're talking right outside."
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"Oh, no. They're about to fight!"
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"No, seriously, they were only seven bucks"
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"at Claire's Boutique. Go ahead and borrow them."
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"Really? Okay, then here, I have to return the favor."
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"What's happening? Walter, narrate!"
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"you can't make raisin bread in the microwave."
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"So, I was hanging by the buses today"
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"and I saw you talking with Nicole."
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"Oh. Yeah, we met on the couch in the bathroom."
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"She said she liked my backpack, and we started talking."
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"So, uh, no big surprises or anything?"
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"Um... no big reveals?"
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"No, nothing like that. She was just really cool."
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"I totally get why you had a crush on her."
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"Wait, so you're not mad?"
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"Fart no! You and I are good."
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"Of course we don't!"
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"That's what I'm sayin'."
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"Dave. Your best friend Dave?"
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"I saw him feeding a squirrel once and thought it was cute."
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"Alison! Chili bar's ready!"
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"You better get those chives before your brother dives in!"
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"I'll talk to you tomorrow!"
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"He's nowhere."
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"He left a pick in its haunches."
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"Okay, I lied about Mitch to get you out of that pool hall."
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"That's ridiculous. I'm around women all day here."
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"That's different."
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"So I can never be around a woman outside of work?"
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"All I am saying is if you're going to hang out with a woman,"
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"it has to be when the sun is up."
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"And she can't be taller than me."
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"Or younger than me. Or weigh less than me."
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"Or look like she weighs less than me."
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"Also, you can't share food."
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"Okay, I guess if you're stranded and you have to share food,"
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"then clear soups or broths only."
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"And you will display your wedding band"
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"Photos of your children must be present"
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"if they themselves cannot be."
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"If she happens to touch you, even if by accident,"
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"you will excuse yourself and call me immediately."
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"If she has smoky eye makeup, that is bad."
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"Jessica..."
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"You must always travel in separate vehicles."
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"Going back, lazy eye is out. It encourages eye contact."
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"Oh, and this goes without saying, but no Denzel movies."
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"I have no interest in Tony other than playing pool."
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"That's how it starts, though, that connection."
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"I've fallen asleep during enough Meg Ryan movies."
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"You want me to give up pool? Is that it?"
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"I want you to get a different partner."
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"What do I do?"
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"Well, at least you had me run out to the car"
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"and get your emergency Keds from the trunk."
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"No spare tire, but eight pairs of Keds."
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"Rematch!"
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"No. We have to wait to play again."
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"There are four stacks of quarters ahead of us, so..."
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"Hey, who took my quarters?"
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"Hey, who put this crap on?"
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"He'll come around."
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"Amy Grant works from the inside out."
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"What do you guys know about Dave?"
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"What do you mean? We hang out with him every day."
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"Can we trust him?"
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"Like that deadbeat-dad angle he always plays up..."
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"How do we know it's even real?"
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"Anyone can cry on Father's Day."
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"Trent, you better pick up my homework,"
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"Hey. Am I interrupting?"
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"I was just telling Alison about how..."
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"You had that thing for Jasmine from "Aladdin"?"
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"Hey, I told you that in private!"
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"- Why not? - Eddie."
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"That's what this whole thing is."
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"Too bad you didn't make a Dad trap, huh, Dave?"
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"Now who's playing cheap, man?"
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