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Clips from Dr. Ken - Thanksgiving Culture Clash (S01E01)

"And you know if Molly had gotten a Korean tattoo,"
Dr. Ken
"we'd all happily be sitting here eating Turkey!"
Dr. Ken
"Molly got tattoo?!"
Dr. Ken
"Turkey? Where turkey?"
Dr. Ken
"Nope."
Dr. Ken
"Clark?"
Dr. Ken
"Gunpowder and wool?"
Dr. Ken
"Nope."
Dr. Ken
"The two most lasting gifts"
Dr. Ken
"were smallpox and gonorrhea."
Dr. Ken
"I just love Thanksgiving trivia!"
Dr. Ken
"So, so fun."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, well, it's time for dessert."
Dr. Ken
"I'm just gonna go put the pies in."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, this has become a hostage situation."
Dr. Ken
"You know what? I got this."
Dr. Ken
"What are you gonna do?"
Dr. Ken
"I'm gonna make this go a little bit faster."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, that is not going to work,"
Dr. Ken
"because, "A," she has a cellphone,"
Dr. Ken
"and, "B," we are not in a Bugs Bunny cartoon."
Dr. Ken
"In go the pies, out come the photo albums!"
Dr. Ken
"Eeh!"
Dr. Ken
"What do you mean? It's only..."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my God. What did you guys do?"
Dr. Ken
"Clark did it!"
Dr. Ken
"Greetings from under the bus."
Dr. Ken
"You just made time fly"
Dr. Ken
"on this night that I have been dreading."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you so much! You are true friends!"
Dr. Ken
"And now, I am so sorry to kick you out,"
Dr. Ken
"but I got to hit the hay, you know?"
Dr. Ken
"What about the pies?"
Dr. Ken
"Which..."
Dr. Ken
"you should bring to work tomorrow."
Dr. Ken
"Girl, bye!"
Dr. Ken
"What wrong with you?"
Dr. Ken
"Allison called me out for being a lapsed Korean,"
Dr. Ken
"and I lost it."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, yeah. You whitest guy I know."
Dr. Ken
"You cried when the R.E.M. broke up."
Dr. Ken
"You must be so disappointed."
Dr. Ken
"You started a Korean school. You go to a Korean church."
Dr. Ken
"You go to the driving range when most people are working."
Dr. Ken
"I let you down."
Dr. Ken
"you don't have to prove you're Korean."
Dr. Ken
"The most important thing"
Dr. Ken
"is to be good father and good husband,"
Dr. Ken
"which you are."
Dr. Ken
"Uh, not so much today."
Dr. Ken
"Besides, being Korean is not what you wear or what you eat."
Dr. Ken
"Korean in here."
Dr. Ken
"Trust me... you plenty Korean."
Dr. Ken
"Now go fix Thanksgiving."
Dr. Ken
"Because this hot mess."
Dr. Ken
"Thanks, Dad."
Dr. Ken
"Besides, you're not true Korean"
Dr. Ken
"until you hit entire bucket of golf ball"
Dr. Ken
"with cigarette in mouth."
Dr. Ken
"All right. Who wants pizza?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, I just had the weirdest Thanksgiving ever."
Dr. Ken
"but it seems that around the house,"
Dr. Ken
"Ken likes to wear a dress."
Dr. Ken
"I should have come to your thing,"
Dr. Ken
"and it was very nice of you to invite me."
Dr. Ken
"Aww, that's sweet, Pat."
Dr. Ken
"But... it's midnight."
Dr. Ken
"Oh."
Dr. Ken
"Really? That's... odd."
Dr. Ken
"Guess my cellphone must have stopped at some point."
Dr. Ken
"Wait. Pat?"
Dr. Ken
"You came all this way. Would you like some wine?"
Dr. Ken
"Thanks."
Dr. Ken
"Hey, bae. I'm sorry I was such a douche."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah. That was a real douche-a-palooza."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, the truth is,"
Dr. Ken
"you're just doing a much better job than me."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, you teach the kids Japanese stuff"
Dr. Ken
"with a rigid efficiency that..."
Dr. Ken
"I don't know where you get it."
Dr. Ken
"- No, you're not. - I know."
Dr. Ken
"I'm just trying to make your apology go a little quicker."
Dr. Ken
"Look, I want both of us"
Dr. Ken
"to pass our traditions on to the kids,"
Dr. Ken
"but let's do it together."
Dr. Ken
"I'd like that."
Dr. Ken
"You know what? Let's start tomorrow."
Dr. Ken
"I'm thinking maybe we take the kids"
Dr. Ken
"to the Korean Cultural Center."
Dr. Ken
"Eh, you know, I don't think we need to do that, you know."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, my dad said being Korean's in here."
Dr. Ken
"Plus, it's Black Friday. We should hit the mall."
Dr. Ken
"Forever 21 is practically giving away summer tanks."
Dr. Ken
"_"
Dr. Ken
"two cultures come together as one."
Dr. Ken
"Old-fashioned methods are kept alive,"
Dr. Ken
"and new ideas are embraced."
Dr. Ken
"But the most important tradition of all"
Dr. Ken
"is how now, just like back then,"
Dr. Ken
"everyone bands together..."
Dr. Ken
"_"
Dr. Ken
"What? I didn't have a lot to work with."
Dr. Ken
"Is that a blank piece of paper because you lost the list?"
Dr. Ken
"It's gross."
Dr. Ken
"Anyway, I would love to invite all of you"
Dr. Ken
"so it actually might be fun this year."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah. Apparently, it's a real problem in Russia."
Dr. Ken
"and you're hijacking Thanksgiving."
Dr. Ken
"Or, as turkeys call it, the reckoning."
Dr. Ken
"You're stopping by on your way somewhere else?"
Dr. Ken
"You know, I don't mind if I do."
Dr. Ken
"I-I made a mistake."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, but I'm supposed to be with my family."
Dr. Ken
"- Hey! - Hey!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, I shop at Forever 21"
Dr. Ken
"There's a Hells Angels mixer in our living room!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, what you filming there, D-Rex?"
Dr. Ken
"Exactly."
Dr. Ken
"And I'll be spending my first solo Turkey Day"
Dr. Ken
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