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Clips from Dr. Ken - Thanksgiving Culture Clash (S01E01)

"Oh, like she's gonna tell us."
Dr. Ken
"Why would she choose a tattoo of a Japanese character?"
Dr. Ken
"Wait. Is your issue the tattoo or the fact that it's Japanese?"
Dr. Ken
"Both."
Dr. Ken
"What?"
Dr. Ken
"You've always pushed your Japanese agenda"
Dr. Ken
"Trying to "Japanify" them"
Dr. Ken
"with your field trips to Little Tokyo and your edamame."
Dr. Ken
"You even rented "Godzilla.""
Dr. Ken
"You told me to!"
Dr. Ken
"You said you wanted to see San Francisco"
Dr. Ken
""get what it deserves.""
Dr. Ken
"Well, what about those Hello Kitty folders, huh?"
Dr. Ken
"Dave likes Hello Kitty."
Dr. Ken
"I'm not gonna apologize"
Dr. Ken
"Maybe you've forgotten, but our kids are half-Korean, too."
Dr. Ken
"And you could have taught them about their Korean heritage,"
Dr. Ken
"Lapsed Korean?"
Dr. Ken
"Let's face it... culturally, you have more in common"
Dr. Ken
"with the white teenage girls at the mall."
Dr. Ken
"because their men's extra-small fits me perfectly."
Dr. Ken
"Okay."
Dr. Ken
"Forgot my edamame."
Dr. Ken
"Annyeong ha say-yo!"
Dr. Ken
""Annyeong ha say-yo"?"
Dr. Ken
"Uh, yeah, that's Korean for "goodbye.""
Dr. Ken
"Actually, that's Korean for "hello.""
Dr. Ken
"Oh, good for you. Congratulations."
Dr. Ken
"Great. Great. Whoo"
Dr. Ken
"Then she had the nerve to tell me I'm a lapsed Korean."
Dr. Ken
"Can you believe that?"
Dr. Ken
"Hell yeah. I have a VCR that's more Korean than you."
Dr. Ken
"How Korean would you say I am?"
Dr. Ken
"Well, you know I'm post-racial and colorblind"
Dr. Ken
"and also confused by the question."
Dr. Ken
"But if you wiser to me the answer you are looking for"
Dr. Ken
"you shall get it, sir."
Dr. Ken
"I am super-Korean."
Dr. Ken
"Yes, you are."
Dr. Ken
"My dad started a Korean school,"
Dr. Ken
"where I learned about my culture"
Dr. Ken
"and how not to control my temper!"
Dr. Ken
"Ooh! I saw Natalie Merchant at a Panda Express last night."
Dr. Ken
"Your turn."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, we were talking about how Korean Dr. Ken is."
Dr. Ken
"Whoa, whoa. A little sensitivity."
Dr. Ken
"Dr. Ken is Chinese."
Dr. Ken
"I'm Korean!"
Dr. Ken
"That's the spirit."
Dr. Ken
"Well, due to unforeseen circumstances"
Dr. Ken
"with my boyfriend, Topher..."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, no. We were on again."
Dr. Ken
"But then he broke up with me"
Dr. Ken
"because he said I lacked self-confidence."
Dr. Ken
"Like this is really gonna help."
Dr. Ken
"to my Thanksgiving day Orphans Dinner."
Dr. Ken
"I know it's really last-minute, but I hope that you can come."
Dr. Ken
"It's gonna be the party of the year!"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, sorry."
Dr. Ken
"Uh, we're having family over, so I can't make it."
Dr. Ken
"But I want you to know, if that wasn't the case,"
Dr. Ken
"my mind would be racing to come up with any other excuse."
Dr. Ken
"Pat? I know you're also newly single."
Dr. Ken
"Indeed I am."
Dr. Ken
"at the Sportsmen's Lodge."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, that place is gonna be lousy"
Dr. Ken
"with drunken, needy women."
Dr. Ken
"That was a double entendre. I'm not sure if it landed."
Dr. Ken
"But the important thing is, I'm hoping to have sex."
Dr. Ken
"Guys?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh..."
Dr. Ken
"We'll be there."
Dr. Ken
"- Oh! - Yay!"
Dr. Ken
"- Yay! - Yay!"
Dr. Ken
"No. No."
Dr. Ken
"Oh-ho!"
Dr. Ken
"I felt bad. We'll just stop by."
Dr. Ken
"This is the first Thanksgiving since my grandma passed."
Dr. Ken
"Oh. When did she die?"
Dr. Ken
"No. She's alive."
Dr. Ken
"She just passed on the invite,"
Dr. Ken
"My friends and I have this whole Turkey Trot thing."
Dr. Ken
"- You're doing a run? - Oh, no, no, no."
Dr. Ken
"It's a dance party at a bar in West Hollywood."
Dr. Ken
"Then there's an after-party which goes until 2:00,"
Dr. Ken
"and then an after-after party, which..."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, remember when you were a kid"
Dr. Ken
"and you were so excited to go to Disneyland?"
Dr. Ken
"It's like that for me every day, but gay."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, my God."
Dr. Ken
"Oh. It's just our tattooed daughter."
Dr. Ken
"What are you doing?"
Dr. Ken
"Since you and Mom took away all my screens,"
Dr. Ken
"I'm faxting with Tammi."
Dr. Ken
"Faxting?"
Dr. Ken
"Texting with Mom's fax machine."
Dr. Ken
"Eh, Tammi's cray."
Dr. Ken
"L... O... L."
Dr. Ken
"Leave it to Molly to find a loophole."
Dr. Ken
"She's faxting."
Dr. Ken
"Is that sex faxing?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh."
Dr. Ken
"Well, we're establishing new traditions this year,"
Dr. Ken
"so I felt some of them should be Korean."
Dr. Ken
"So, you bought 4 pounds of bulgogi"
Dr. Ken
"and eight jars of kimchi?"
Dr. Ken
"Hearing it out loud, I know what you're thinking."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken!"
Dr. Ken
"Where's all the stuff I actually asked you to buy?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, it all felt too American."
Dr. Ken
"You're not putting me in a position to succeed."
Dr. Ken
"So, this is some big-baby-ish reaction"
Dr. Ken
"to me claiming your heritage isn't important to you?"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, no. I'm simply sharing my culture with my family."
Dr. Ken
"Why? Does that bother you?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah. It does."
Dr. Ken
"Our kids are half-Japanese, my parents are also coming over,"
Dr. Ken
"How you feel if I made tempura and soba noodles?"
Dr. Ken
"Like someone who actually supports his spouse's heritage."
Dr. Ken
"Really?"
Dr. Ken
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