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Clips from The Office - Branch Wars (S04E04)

"Hello. We're warehouse workers. Would you like more proof?"
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"GUARD: Okay."
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"MICHAEL: Oh, my God. That was very close."
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"I have to do something to his eyes."
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"All right, Great Scott, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home."
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"MICHAEL: We've got something far better, their crown jewel. Their industrial copier."
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"Isn't that thing huge?"
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"It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're wheeling it down the hall into the stairwell."
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"(MICHAEL SCREAMS)"
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"(LOUD CRASHING)"
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"We're wedged between the copier and the railing! I'm stuck. Oh, my left hip!"
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"DWIGHT: Leave us, Jim! Leave us. Save yourself. Help us. No!"
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"Don't leave us. Help us. We need help, Jim!"
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"MICHAEL: You got to move out!"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Karen's back."
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"DWIGHT: Is that Karen? MICHAEL: Take her to a motel. Make love to her, Jim."
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"No. I'm not doing that."
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"Just say you want to get back together."
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"No. I'm not doing that."
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"It doesn't have to mean anything. Just do it for Stanley."
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"Come on, Jim. Just climb on top of her and think about Stanley. Oh, God."
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"(MICHAEL GRO ANING IN PAIN)"
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"Jim? Host the Dundies."
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"Hey, Karen."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"First of all, hi."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"You good?"
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"Michael wants me to do that from time to time. So..."
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"MICHAEL: Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier."
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"Copy that."
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"in a ladies' warehouse uniform felt pretty good."
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"Let me ask you, did you accomplish what you wanted?"
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"Listen, lady, you can expect these kind of repercussions"
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"I'm taking Stanley."
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"Then we will burn Utica to the ground."
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"(MICHAEL CLEARS THROAT)"
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"Granted, maybe this was not the best idea,"
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"And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head,"
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"we will burn Utica to the ground."
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"Yeah. Trying to quit, though."
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"If you wanted to see me, you could have just called me like an adult."
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"Oh, no, I didn't want to see you."
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"Not that I'm not happy to be seeing you right now."
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"I'm just saying ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal."
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"I'd say it was equal. So, good to see you."
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"I mean, it's just that, you know,"
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"Pam and I are still dating so... And I just mean that"
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"Oh, things are going really well? Are they? They are? That's great. That's so great."
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"Can you tell me more about that? Thank you so much for coming to Utica"
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"All right. You are welcome. I am going to go because of traffic."
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"Traffic. Yeah. Oh, definitely. So..."
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"(CLEARS THROAT)"
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"Stanley, you may go."
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"you have of this place."
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"Pam."
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"I'm going to need some help writing a want ad."
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"Wanted. Middle-aged black man with sass."
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"Big butt. Bigger heart."
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"(KNOCKING AT DOOR) I can't do this."
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"Michael, a word?"
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"I wasn't really planning on leaving. All I wanted was a raise."
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"Sometimes I say crazy things."
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"Hey."
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"How humiliating."
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"Would it help you to return to another age,"
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"a time of refinement and civility?"
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"Are you inviting me to the Finer Things Club?"
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"Oh, oh, come on!"
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"(IN IRISH ACCENT) Angela's Ashes. Top of the morning to it."
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"Frankie's prose is finer than a pot of gold, say I."
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"Okay. Did you get it out of your system?"
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"Yup. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought it was a fun read."
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"Fun? Mmm-hmm."
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"Really? Yeah."
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"What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins?"
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"No, that wasn't fun."
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"Did you even read it?"
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"Who was the main character?"
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"Angela. Nope. The ashes."
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"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"Oh, yes. She's been expecting your call."
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"Well... Yeah!"
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"...sometimes. Most of the time I will be with Ryan. Or Darryl."
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"I got an offer from Utica for more money. And I'm going to take it."
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"What?"
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"(DOOR CLOSES)"
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"Oh, I don't think that's what's happening."
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"I think it's because of my sales record."
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"To be Edwardian. His best work."
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"Toby's not a salesperson."
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"We just passed the exit for Corcoran."
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"I'm not going to Utica right now. Yes, you are. Oh, buckle up, Jim."
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"He's lying. Yeah. Get it."
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"It could be bad ass. It will. No. No."
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"Damn it. What can we sell?"
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"Oh, come on, man. That is disgusting, Dwight!"
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"I'm going to kill you, man! Michael, Michael, pull over!"
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"Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-licking delicious, Pam."
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"I can't believe we're here. I can't believe this is happening."
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"Damn it, guys. Would you just move over a little bit?"
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"Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something."
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"things are going really well so I didn't want to see you."
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"Really. Thank you."
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"I will."
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"Fly away, sweet little bird. Fly away and be free."
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"I have no words."
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"I think I cut my penis on the lid."
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"I'm just checking on the other branches."
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"Dunder Mifflin. This is Rolando."
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"DWIGHT: He looks like your twin."
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"which just happens to be the very same book you're reading."
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"This is the dumbest thing we've ever done."
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"Yes! Got it."
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"Jim, hang on a second? Yes."
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"KAREN: I am the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Utica branch."
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"I want you to tell me if this looks like me, okay?"
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"DWIGHT: Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. MICHAEL: Shut up."
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"Money. Okay."
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