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Clips from Central Park - Of Course You Realize This Means Ward (S02E02)

"I'll be damned if I let Ambrose finish his memoir first."
Central Park
"No one's gonna buy two books about the same family."
Central Park
"And my story is the good one."
Central Park
"Put on a fresh pot of hot gin!"
Central Park
"We're not stopping until we're done."
Central Park
"Or at least until we're up to the 1980s."
Central Park
"- I was very thin, and I was very awake. - Cocaine?"
Central Park
"Yes, please. Two scoops."
Central Park
"If we're gonna give Brendan a costume, I think it should look like this."
Central Park
"Hmm, that looks busy. What about this?"
Central Park
"Ooh, space matador?"
Central Park
"Yeah, go bold, strong."
Central Park
"If we go that way, we'll need new music and choreography."
Central Park
"We will, but it will be totally worth it, I think. Dang, we're supportive."
Central Park
"[sighs]"
Central Park
"What's the matter, Dad? Not an indoor kite fan?"
Central Park
"Oh, sorry. I'm just worried that we're gonna lose the school field trip,"
Central Park
"and that I'm bad at my job, and the kids will think the park is boring,"
Central Park
"and I won't inspire them like Ward inspired me."
Central Park
"And I'm a little worried they're gonna beat me up."
Central Park
"I can take one or two kids, but not 200 at once."
Central Park
"- Dad, you could beat up so many kids. - Thank you, Cole."
Central Park
"- [Paige] I got him. - What?"
Central Park
"I got your man. I have just received an email from Ward Whitlinger."
Central Park
"He's retired. He's in Nyack."
Central Park
"And he, quote, "Will definitely come talk to the kids on Friday." End quote."
Central Park
"Paige, that's incredible. How'd you do it?"
Central Park
"How did I do it?"
Central Park
"- I used my sleuthing skills. - What's that mean?"
Central Park
"I went so deep undercover I forgot who I really was."
Central Park
"- You did? - No, Internet."
Central Park
"Ah. Well, you saved me. No big deal."
Central Park
"And you made dinner. No big deal. Wait, what is that?"
Central Park
"- Hot dogs and macaroni. - Perfect. No notes."
Central Park
"The ketchup is like the sauce."
Central Park
"- We're fancy. - Mac and dogs?"
Central Park
"Please, just a bit. Less than that. Little less. Thank you."
Central Park
"Okay, guys, staff meeting."
Central Park
"We're all getting fired? I knew it, my horoscope was totally right."
Central Park
"What? You're firing us?"
Central Park
"Hell no. You can't fire me. I quit. I'm taking this place down with me."
Central Park
"No, no. I just wanna update everyone on the field trip."
Central Park
"Wow, Fran, you had all that locked and loaded."
Central Park
"Don't have to get ready if you stay ready."
Central Park
"I don't wanna say the fate of the park rests on us getting this right today,"
Central Park
"but also maybe it does."
Central Park
"And maybe the fate of 200 second graders."
Central Park
"Which is why I'm relieved that..."
Central Park
"Dr. Ward Whitlinger is definitely speaking today!"
Central Park
"Just got a text from him. He's on his way!"
Central Park
"But can I still open the show with my "All the Trees in the Park Say Yeah" song?"
Central Park
"Absolutely. Just maybe fewer verses."
Central Park
"It's called, "All the Trees in the Park Say Yeah.""
Central Park
"Maybe today we call it "Some of the Trees in the Park Say Yeah"?"
Central Park
"- How about I sing it twice as fast? - Okay."
Central Park
"[Bitsy] What else? What else?"
Central Park
"Oh, yes! I had a mole removed in my thirties."
Central Park
"It kind of looked like a pineapple with legs."
Central Park
"That's worth writing about, right?"
Central Park
"A little late in the process to ask that question, isn't it?"
Central Park
"- Oh, please. You're just jealous. - [phone rings]"
Central Park
"Hello, Bitsy. How's the memoir going? Terrible, I bet."
Central Park
"It's amazing. Groundbreaking. It made Helen cry, which was gross."
Central Park
"I'm taking mine to the publisher right now, because I'm done first."
Central Park
"Just wanted to rub your wrinkled face in that."
Central Park
"What the hell?"
Central Park
"- Oh, and one more thing. - What?"
Central Park
"[slobbering noises]"
Central Park
"Anton, make a fart sound. My lips won't flap."
Central Park
"Of course, sir. [imitates fart noise]"
Central Park
"[laughing]"
Central Park
"Helen! We've got to get to the publisher right now."
Central Park
"We've only got into your thirties--"
Central Park
"Wait. Why am I fighting this? Sure. Let's go."
Central Park
"[groans] We'll add what we can on the way over."
Central Park
"Brendan? You okay in there? You've been in there a while."
Central Park
"You know, it's perfectly natural to have the preshow poops."
Central Park
"Get it all out. Be light on your feet."
Central Park
"Empty bowels, full heart."
Central Park
"[Brendan] What am I even doing? I'll never remember the choreography."
Central Park
"You added so much."
Central Park
"You'll be fine. Just remember to keep your flicks tight,"
Central Park
"your snakes and spirals smooth, and your throws flirty."
Central Park
"I still don't know why I'm dressed as a space matador?"
Central Park
"Because your kite is your cape, and you're fighting a space bull."
Central Park
"I feel like I shouldn't have to keep explaining that."
Central Park
"Yeah, okay. You're right. It--"
Central Park
"It's just have you noticed that no one else is wearing a costume?"
Central Park
"That just tells me that everyone else forgot,"
Central Park
"which is so embarrassing for them."
Central Park
"Oh, no. Is there a chance we helped too much?"
Central Park
"[chuckles] "Too much"? Like that even makes sense."
Central Park
"[Brendan] I can't do it, Molly. I can't perform."
Central Park
"[gasps] Oh, my god. Is this one of those moments"
Central Park
"where I realize I'm the one who has to go out and perform?"
Central Park
"- Is that what's happening? - Did you suddenly develop the ability"
Central Park
"to fly a kite indoors? Or at all?"
Central Park
"- No, I did not. - Okay then."
Central Park
"- Right. So it's not that? - No, it isn't."
Central Park
"[groans] He's late. You think he knows he's supposed to come to Central Park?"
Central Park
"The big green one? Yeah."
Central Park
"Oh, boy. The superintendent looks super cranky."
Central Park
"- Take breaths. - [breathes deeply]"
Central Park
"- Hello. - Ahh! Dr. Whitlinger."
Central Park
"You're really here. I'm really standing next to Ward Whitlinger."
Central Park
"[chuckles] Am I hugging you? Okay, I'm hugging you."
Central Park
"And you're not really hugging back. Is this too tight?"
Central Park
"- Easy, honey. Easy. - I'm sorry. I'm just-- I'm so excited."
Central Park
"Your work inspired me,"
Central Park
"and I can't wait for you to inspire those kids. I just-- [stutters]"
Central Park
"- I feel like I'm talking a lot. - It's okay."
Central Park
"You were hard to track down. This is Paige, the tracker-downer."
Central Park
"[scoffs] Wasn't that hard. For me, anyway."
Central Park
"The nature center closed, huh?"
Central Park
"Yep, we lost our funding. They're turning it into a VR arcade."
Central Park
"Children stay indoors and put on goggles and pretend they're outside."
Central Park
"The world is ending. No one cares."
Central Park
"It'll fall apart fast. I predict less than ten years to cannibalism."
Central Park
"- Um, what? - Oh, boy."
Central Park
"- Hey, Owen? - Uh, just one second."
Central Park
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