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Clips from The Great North - Romantic Meat-Based Adventure (S01E01)

"I'll show him Top Gun."
The Great North
"If anyone can teach him to fly, it's Maverick."
The Great North
"Fine. But fast-forward through the part"
The Great North
"where Goose dies, please."
The Great North
"You know, Judes, I was thinking we might need to help Dad"
The Great North
"brush up on his skills before tomorrow."
The Great North
"The Meet and Meat is no joke. There's, uh..."
The Great North
"How do I say this? A lot of pool cues,"
The Great North
"not a lot of pockets, if you know what I mean."
The Great North
"-No. What do you mean? -A lot of hot dogs,"
The Great North
"-not a lot of buns. -Huh?"
The Great North
"What he's saying is there'll be tons of, uh,"
The Great North
"Washington Monuments, not a lot of Grand Canyons."
The Great North
"-Do we need to spell this out for you? -Maybe."
The Great North
"A lot of letters, not a lot of envelopes."
The Great North
"A lot of prairie dogs, not a lot of prairie dog holes."
The Great North
"A lot of feet, not a lot of socks."
The Great North
"-Ham gets it. -Tons of DVDs,"
The Great North
"not a ton of DVD shelves to put 'em on?"
The Great North
"Oh, uh, kinda. Yeah. Good try, Moon."
The Great North
"A lot of Andre the Giants,"
The Great North
"not a lot of gigantic sleeping bags."
The Great North
"Uh, what are you guys talking about?!"
The Great North
"A lot of men, very few women."
The Great North
"Oh... okay, then, yeah."
The Great North
"After school, we should help Dad practice dating."
The Great North
"And who better to practice on than your own kids?"
The Great North
"Exactly. No one knows Dad's romantic needs better than us."
The Great North
"-Judy, hi. -JUDY: The longest walk of my life."
The Great North
"(screams): Oh, hi, hair. I mean hi there, Steven."
The Great North
"(laughs): I didn't know you'd be here in my mouth."
The Great North
"No, I mean here, near my locker."
The Great North
"-(laughs nervously) -Yep, here I am."
The Great North
"I was wondering if maybe this weekend"
The Great North
"you wanted to, uh, hang out."
The Great North
"Oh, huh, I wish, because, um, on weekends I travel"
The Great North
"as a flight attendant."
The Great North
"So I'll be in Frankfurt, Germany."
The Great North
"Okay, uh, well, maybe during the week, then?"
The Great North
"I mean, I had a lot of fun with you,"
The Great North
"and I think you're really great."
The Great North
"I think you're great, too."
The Great North
"Okay, now I have to go stand over there because I-- Wow!"
The Great North
"You know what, I just farted, actually,"
The Great North
"and I'm allergic to my own farts,"
The Great North
"so I've got to keep on moving."
The Great North
"No, don't follow me, please."
The Great North
"It's not safe, um, 'cause I'm still farting,"
The Great North
"so you don't want to enter the blast zone, okay?"
The Great North
"Whoo-hoo, melt your face off."
The Great North
"Wow, ew, gross. Bye-bye."
The Great North
"-Bye-bye. Stay there. -B-Bye."
The Great North
"Okay, ready? Toss him back."
The Great North
"-Let's go again. -Hey, guys."
The Great North
"Do you maybe want to take a break"
The Great North
"from teaching Timothy to fly"
The Great North
"so that we can teach Dad to date?"
The Great North
"No can do, Judy, he's pretty motivated right now."
The Great North
"Actually, he fell asleep. (gasps) Or died?"
The Great North
"Nah, he's sleeping."
The Great North
"Let's get started. Dad, it's been a while"
The Great North
"since your last date, so this is just practice"
The Great North
"to help you with your conversation skills."
The Great North
"Sorry I said "skills" like that."
The Great North
"In my mind it was gonna be cool."
The Great North
"Judy, I loved it."
The Great North
"So, Dad, why don't you go ahead and take a seat there"
The Great North
"-across from Wolf-- he'll be your date. -Charmed."
The Great North
"I'll be your waitress."
The Great North
"And everyone else will judge you."
The Great North
"-Sound good? -Not really."
The Great North
"And... action."
The Great North
"Now, uh, Dad, just relax"
The Great North
"and pretend I'm a wonderful lady."
The Great North
"(feminine voice): So, Beef, what do you do?"
The Great North
"I kill fish for money."
The Great North
"My, my, my!"
The Great North
"Okay, uh-uh, this is not good."
The Great North
"Listen, not to brag, but before I met Wolf,"
The Great North
"I went on a lot of dates."
The Great North
"(normal voice): Course you did, my swipe queen."
The Great North
"Heart eyes emoji big-time."
The Great North
"And honestly, Beef, if you want to be a good date,"
The Great North
"there are really only three rules to remember."
The Great North
"One, ask her questions about herself."
The Great North
"Two, listen to her answers."
The Great North
"Three, don't ask for any of my cheesy garlic knots"
The Great North
"with two different dipping sauces."
The Great North
"If you want that, order it yourself."
The Great North
"I always order my own sauces."
The Great North
"I'm not a sociopath."
The Great North
"Great. Now let's try this date again."
The Great North
"So..."
The Great North
"(feminine voice): So..."
The Great North
"(whispers): Ask her questions."
The Great North
"Um, okay. What kind of fish do you like?"
The Great North
"I love trout."
The Great North
"-What kind of fish do you hate? -No more fish talk, Beef."
The Great North
"If you were a fish,"
The Great North
"-what kind of fish would you be? -No."
The Great North
"-What kind of fish wouldn't you...? Damn it! -No."
The Great North
"How about we get some drinks and loosen up?"
The Great North
"I'll take a fish shake."
The Great North
"-Dad, no! -Nope."
The Great North
"I'm trying. Do you have a driver's license?"
The Great North
"-Yes. -Me, too."
The Great North
"Okay, that's better, I guess."
The Great North
"Just a few more hours of practice,"
The Great North
"maybe, like, 12 more hours, and tomorrow we'll be kissing"
The Great North
"and dating like you wouldn't believe."
The Great North
"Hey, guys, next time I'd like to play one of the dates."
The Great North
"Cheryl. She's a business associate"
The Great North
"who knows what she wants."
The Great North
"Or does she?"
The Great North
"Okay, we are about to send Dad in there"
The Great North
"to hopefully make some sort of romantic connection"
The Great North
"which is incredibly important for him"
The Great North
"and not so much for me because I am very confident"
The Great North
"about dating and kissing."
The Great North
"-Congratulations. -Thank you."
The Great North
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