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Clips from The Great North - Romantic Meat-Based Adventure (S01E01)

"My dad's gonna die accompanied. Oh, hey, Moon."
The Great North
"-Hey, Judy. -Uh, what are you doing?"
The Great North
"I'm capturing a flightless ruffed grouse"
The Great North
"to teach it how to fly and then re-release it into the wild."
The Great North
"-What are you doing? -Storming over to Wolf's"
The Great North
"to talk to him about Dad's love life."
The Great North
"-Good luck. -And to you, my friend."
The Great North
"Uh-oh, looks like somebody"
The Great North
"-wants in on Fonzarella Night. -What?"
The Great North
"Oh, Fonzarella Night, yeah."
The Great North
"We watch a Henry Winkler movie and make mozzarella sticks."
The Great North
"Tonight it's You Don't Mess with the Zohan."
The Great North
"He plays "Uncredited Limousine Passenger,""
The Great North
"but he still steals the movie out from under Sandler, IMHO."
The Great North
"Wolf, I need to talk to you urgently about Dad."
The Great North
"You had me at Dad."
The Great North
"Everyone, this is Timothy."
The Great North
"Please note that he is not a pet or food."
The Great North
"I'm teaching him to fly."
The Great North
"Oh, maybe I can help you."
The Great North
"I also cannot fly,"
The Great North
"so I totally get what he's going through."
The Great North
"No offense, Moon, personally, I don't care for birds."
The Great North
"I always catch them peeking in my windows."
The Great North
"Stop peeking, birds. This isn't for you."
The Great North
"Yeah, it's for her, birds."
The Great North
"A woman's body is her own dominion."
The Great North
"Eyes to yourself, Timothy. Don't look at my dominion."
The Great North
"Okay, so family meeting."
The Great North
"Little dawn download requested by our only sister Judy."
The Great North
"Juderonomous, you've the floor."
The Great North
"(clears throat) It has come to my attention"
The Great North
"via a friend of mine who definitely exists here on Earth"
The Great North
"and is a real person that Dad has not been on any dates"
The Great North
"since admitting that Mom left him."
The Great North
"And he is at serious risk of dying alone,"
The Great North
"clutching a woman he carved out of a tree stump."
The Great North
"-Aren't we all? -So I was thinking we should"
The Great North
"give him a little push just to, you know,"
The Great North
"-get him back out there. -And I realize that there's"
The Great North
"a "Meet and Meat" singles mixer tomorrow night"
The Great North
"at the Russian Bar that'd be perfect"
The Great North
"for meeting some Lone Moose ladies."
The Great North
"Now, why is it called a "Meet and Meat"?"
The Great North
"Oh, because they also raffle off"
The Great North
"a bunch of meat from local hunters."
The Great North
"I used to go to it sometimes"
The Great North
"when I was an eligible bachelor."
The Great North
"Never met anyone, but one time I won"
The Great North
"14 caribou steaks."
The Great North
"Lost 'em on the way home, but what a thrill."
The Great North
"I printed out a flier for it from their website"
The Great North
"using our old printer."
The Great North
"It only took 45 minutes,"
The Great North
"and you can read two-thirds of it."
The Great North
"-Dope. -Oh, boy, Dad's gonna hate this."
The Great North
"Don't you think we should just let him"
The Great North
"meet someone on his own?"
The Great North
"Like when Harry met, you know, what's it called?"
The Great North
"-Sally. -No, the Hendersons,"
The Great North
"and they all fell in love."
The Great North
"Guys, I think we ought to support Judy here,"
The Great North
"and by doing that, support Dad."
The Great North
"We should go, too. I'm taken,"
The Great North
"but I'd love to win some bacon."
The Great North
"You got it, my sausage sweetie."
The Great North
"Great idea. We can all go. And as a bargaining chip,"
The Great North
"Wolf and I thought we could promise Dad, in exchange,"
The Great North
"-the one thing he's always wanted. -You don't mean..."
The Great North
"Yeah, I do mean. I'm talking about"
The Great North
"the whole family taking the Chain Saw Basics"
The Great North
"workshop series being offered at the public library."
The Great North
"-(Ham groans) -Hear us out."
The Great North
"Guys, it's only four Saturdays. Eight hours each day."
The Great North
"Well, we've avoided it for years,"
The Great North
"but if that's what it takes to stop Dad from dying alone,"
The Great North
"then stick a fork in me,"
The Great North
"-'cause I'm a chain saw. -Great."
The Great North
"Oh, God, here he comes. Everyone act casual."
The Great North
"What's going on? Is it the apocalypse?"
The Great North
"No one panic, we have 500 years' worth of rice,"
The Great North
"and two Calvin and Hobbes books in the basement."
The Great North
"No, it's even better than that, if you can believe it."
The Great North
"(sings fanfare)"
The Great North
"Dad, it's time for you to get back on the horse"
The Great North
"and ride that horse to the barn and meet women"
The Great North
"at the Meet and Meat singles mixer this weekend."
The Great North
"Oh, I didn't tell you guys?"
The Great North
"I'm actually off to Hawaii for a work trip."
The Great North
"-You get it, you get it. -Uh-oh, code Dad."
The Great North
"-Grab him, quick! -He's on the move!"
The Great North
"Children, sorry that I tried to run away, and you were forced"
The Great North
"to wrestle me to the ground and then sit on me"
The Great North
"for 15 minutes while I fought you like a wild bear."
The Great North
"(chuckles) It's no problem, Dad."
The Great North
"We'll wrestle you to the ground any day, and I mean that."
The Great North
"So, if I go tomorrow and attempt to,"
The Great North
"as the teens say, "meet people,""
The Great North
"you will really all seriously attend"
The Great North
"the Chain Saw Basics workshop with me?"
The Great North
"Yep. That's what we said, and that's what we meant."
The Great North
"You have my word."
The Great North
"You can also have this word: pineapple."
The Great North
"I've asked you to do that so many times."
The Great North
"It's literally all I've ever wanted."
The Great North
"And now it's all we've ever wanted."
The Great North
"32 hours with our family and our chain saws."
The Great North
"Well, then, the Meet and Meat it is."
The Great North
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up"
The Great North
"about this very fun dating opportunity"
The Great North
"before heading out to work on the boat."
The Great North
"Guys, we did it-- Dad will no longer die alone."
The Great North
"But instead he will die in the arms of a woman."
The Great North
"Identity TBD."
The Great North
"Okay, great job, everybody."
The Great North
"Time for school. Let's head out."
The Great North
"Have fun at school, guys."
The Great North
"I've got to stay home and teach Timothy to fly."
The Great North
"Uh-uh. No way, bub. You're going to school."
The Great North
"Me and Honeybee will watch Tim."
The Great North
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