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Clips from Cheers - Let Me Count the Ways (S01E01)

I wasn't close to anyone in my family.

"I wasn't close to anyone in my family."

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My father travelled frequently,

"My father travelled frequently,"

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and my mother was incredibly social.

"and my mother was incredibly social."

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So Elizabeth was my closest friend and confidante.

"So Elizabeth was my closest friend and confidante."

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That cat could really keep a secret.

"That cat could really keep a secret."

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- That's good in a cat. - Yeah.

"- That's good in a cat. - Yeah."

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She was the only one in my life who was always there.

"She was the only one in my life who was always there."

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When everybody was mad at me, she liked me.

"When everybody was mad at me, she liked me."

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When I'd hide when my parents argued, she'd come with me.

"When I'd hide when my parents argued, she'd come with me."

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Whenever I was sick, she never left my bed until I was well again.

"Whenever I was sick, she never left my bed until I was well again."

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And then,...

"And then,..."

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..when I was 12 years old, my parents separated.

"..when I was 12 years old, my parents separated."

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It was maybe the worst night of my life.

"It was maybe the worst night of my life."

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I actually thought about throwing myself in the lake.

"I actually thought about throwing myself in the lake."

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But then I looked down at this cat in my lap

"But then I looked down at this cat in my lap"

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and I thought, "Who would take care of Elizabeth?"

"and I thought, "Who would take care of Elizabeth?""

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She saved my life that night.

"She saved my life that night."

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And I know, it's crazy and irrational,

"And I know, it's crazy and irrational,"

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but, Sam, I can't help thinking that last night, when her time came,

"but, Sam, I can't help thinking that last night, when her time came,"

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she must have wondered where I was.

"she must have wondered where I was."

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- Sam, you're crying. - No, I'm not.

"- Sam, you're crying. - No, I'm not."

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Yes, you are. Your eyes are all red

"Yes, you are. Your eyes are all red"

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and your nose is running.

"and your nose is running."

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I'm allergic to cat stories.

"I'm allergic to cat stories."

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I can't believe this.

"I can't believe this."

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Sam, this is so sweet.

"Sam, this is so sweet."

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You poor kid.

"You poor kid."

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Wait.

"Wait."

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What are we doing?

"What are we doing?"

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We're sharing our grief.

"We're sharing our grief."

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This doesn't feel like sharing grief.

"This doesn't feel like sharing grief."

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Grief's kind of a tricky thing. Shall we get back to it?

"Grief's kind of a tricky thing. Shall we get back to it?"

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Sam, you're exploiting this situation and it just doesn't feel right to me.

"Sam, you're exploiting this situation and it just doesn't feel right to me."

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What? Exploiting?

"What? Exploiting?"

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We got caught up in some wonderful emotions just now,

"We got caught up in some wonderful emotions just now,"

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and I would hate to see that turned into something sexual.

"and I would hate to see that turned into something sexual."

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- What are you accusing me of? - I'm not accusing you of anything.

"- What are you accusing me of? - I'm not accusing you of anything."

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I would just like to know why this is happening.

"I would just like to know why this is happening."

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What difference does it make, why it's happening?

"What difference does it make, why it's happening?"

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We're helpless, swept away. What else can we do?

"We're helpless, swept away. What else can we do?"

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Sam!

"Sam!"

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You have never been helpless where women are involved.

"You have never been helpless where women are involved."

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Jeez!

"Jeez!"

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Your problem is that the only way you can relate to women is sexually.

"Your problem is that the only way you can relate to women is sexually."

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You wanna know what your problem is?

"You wanna know what your problem is?"

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You always have to think about things, talk about things.

"You always have to think about things, talk about things."

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"Why are we doing this? What does it mean?"

""Why are we doing this? What does it mean?""

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"What are we going to do?" God, it makes me so mad!

""What are we going to do?" God, it makes me so mad!"

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An unexamined life is not worth living.

"An unexamined life is not worth living."

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While we're talking about problems,

"While we're talking about problems,"

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you want to know what bugs me about you?

"you want to know what bugs me about you?"

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- Fine. - The way you eat pretzels.

"- Fine. - The way you eat pretzels."

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- Pretzels? - That's right.

"- Pretzels? - That's right."

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Three bites. Not two, not one, like the rest of us. Three!

"Three bites. Not two, not one, like the rest of us. Three!"

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- Know what bugs me about you? - What?

"- Know what bugs me about you? - What?"

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The cologne you always wear is totally without nuance!

"The cologne you always wear is totally without nuance!"

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That explains the laughter behind my back!

"That explains the laughter behind my back!"

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I don't know why I talk to you. Every conversation we have is an ordeal.

"I don't know why I talk to you. Every conversation we have is an ordeal."

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So let's not have any more. And I tell you something else.

"So let's not have any more. And I tell you something else."

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You won't catch me coming on to you again.

"You won't catch me coming on to you again."

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- You're right you won't. - We agree on something.

"- You're right you won't. - We agree on something."

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No, I think we agree on one other thing.

"No, I think we agree on one other thing."

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- I am getting the hell out of here. - Two things.

"- I am getting the hell out of here. - Two things."

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- Diane! Wait! - What is it?

"- Diane! Wait! - What is it?"

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- I'm sorry about your cat. - Thank you.

"- I'm sorry about your cat. - Thank you."

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- Thank you. - You're welcome.

"- Thank you. - You're welcome."

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- I'll see you tomorrow. - Alright.

"- I'll see you tomorrow. - Alright."

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