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Clips from Welcome To Flatch (2022) - Ghosted (S01E01)

"It's my birthday in five minutes,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"so I'm just looking to see if any of my followers"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"in Europe or Asia gave me any b-day shout outs,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"'cause for them it's tomorrow--"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"or is it yesterday?"
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"It's confusing. I don't know."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"This is why I won't time travel. Ever."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"(snoring)"
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"We always say we're gonna stay up till midnight"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and watch me blow out a candle,"
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"but Shrub never makes it."
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"Sleepy pie."
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"(phone buzzes) Oh, got one."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
""Happy Birthday from China Wok."
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"An extra fortune cookie on any order over 20 bucks.""
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Sweet. Okay, gifts already pouring in. Let's go."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Did I make it to midnight?"
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"-No. -(sighs)"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Wait, did you draw something on my face again?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"No."
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"-Okay, good. -(laughs)"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"(rooster crowing)"
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"Okay, so we're not, like, camping-camping. Gross."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"But today is not just my birthday, okay."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"It's also the day before Manic Monday."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Which means my two favorite days of the year"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"are on the same day."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Manic Monday is basically"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"when Merwin's Department Store out on Highway 17"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"sells all of their overstocked, damaged,"
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"and lost and found items for a dollar."
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"Mm-hmm. The day before, people camp out"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"for hours just to get a good spot in line."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Usually I go with my dad,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"but this year he said he's busy at the Christmas tree farm"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and couldn't make it."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"So I'm bringing Shrub."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"You know, 'cause it can get rowdy"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and you need a human shield"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and someone, to like, to hold your place."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"It is my responsibility to step in for Kelly's dad."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I mean, not having him here is gonna be really tough."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"So I just want to make today very special for her."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Kelly can be a bit of a birthday-zilla,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"so that's why I'm carrying my Sour Patch Kids, or SPKs"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"on me to keep her calm."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I mean, I'm excited. I mean, this is my first year"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and I have my eye on a Hot Doggie Deluxe."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"It cooks hotdogs three different ways"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and one way doesn't even use heat."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Okay, like the shopping is cool,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"but the real fun is a pre-event today. Okay?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"There's like parking lot fights,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"you roast Pop Tarts on sticks, peeing in Snapple bottles."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-Yeah, oh, classic. -I always miss."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"And then also, you can take bribes"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"so people can cut you in line."
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"That's where I got this sweatshirt, actually."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Bus doesn't come until 8:00,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"so I had to arrange a ride."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Wait, did you give me a birthday limo or something?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-No. -Sure, you didn't. (mouthing)"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"No, Kelly, no. I need you to hear me, okay."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Do not get your hopes up. There's not a limo coming."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Okay. There's not a limo coming."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-No, there's not. -I'm just gonna close my eyes"
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"'cause something's in them."
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"Ow! And then open them dramatically."
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"Seriously, there's not a limo coming."
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"-Don't do this. -(laughs)"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"(horn honks)"
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"-Hi. -Open your eyes, dude."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Hope you like show tunes!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Yeah!"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"So a lot has happened."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Jimmy and I broke up."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"But on the bright side,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I'm considering a job offer from the "Dayton Sentinel.""
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I'm torn because they're an amazing paper,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"and they adore me, and I love the praise."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"But Flatch readers tell me when I'm wrong or when I suck."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"And I appreciate their honesty."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Yeah, like I said, I'm torn."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Ooh, I'm late for work."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Oh. How's my outfit?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I'm meeting Joe later for lunch."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Don't give you that look. We're just friends."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"FATHER JOE: I'm really happy with where"
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"things are going with me and Cheryl."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I think we figured out how to be just friends."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"And I'm okay with that."
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"After all, lunch is the most platonic meal of the day,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"dessert being the sexiest."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Just one spray."
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"(coughs)"
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"BOTH: ♪ We know we belong to the land ♪"
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"♪ Yee-haw"
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"BOTH: ♪ And the land we belong to is grand ♪"
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"♪ And when we say, ow"
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"♪ Aye-yip-aye-yo-ee-ay"
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"♪ We're only saying you're doin' fine, Oklahoma ♪"
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"♪ Oklahoma, OK"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Are you going under the speed limit right now?"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Yep. I get motion sickness."
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"We can't hit full speed until my Dramamine kicks in."
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"You're a couple of lucky duckies that we are on"
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"our way to the D&D Convention."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Dropping you off is no problem."
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"JUSTIN: Dungeons and Dragons is huge for us."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"I'm leading one of the games this weekend and boy,"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"do I have an adventure lined up for my little warlock."
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"Oh, Grandma."
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"It's Dungeon Master to you."
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"ALL: ♪ It's a hard knock life for us ♪"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"♪ It's a hard knock life for us ♪"
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"♪ Instead of treated we get tricked ♪"
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"♪ Instead of kisses we get kicked ♪"
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"♪ It's a hard knock life--"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"No, I can't take it anymore! Please stop the car."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"Please stop the car. I know a shortcut to Merwins."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
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