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Clips from Veep - New Hampshire (S03E03)

"Jesus Christ, Gary. Are those real shoes"
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"or are those fucking dog toys?"
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"Sounds like the theme from Psycho."
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"My fellow Americans."
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"- The oath I have taken today is a solemn one. - Excuse me, excuse me."
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"I stand before you, and before God..."
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"Ahem..."
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"Oh, my God, you know better than that."
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"You know better than that."
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"Ahem."
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"You have not elected me as your president by your votes,"
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"- but I ask that you accept me..."
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"- Are you seeing this on Twitter? - ...as your president..."
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"- Yup. President squeaks to the nation. - ...in your hearts."
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"Thank you, and God bless America."
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"Ma'am? That was amazing."
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"- Amazing speech. - Yes, it was."
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"- Take these fucking shoes... - Yup."
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"- ...and shoot 'em in the fucking head. - Yeah, I'm so sorry."
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"Okay? Now... I am the most powerful person in the world."
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"- Is that correct? - Yes, ma'am."
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"Any fuckup from now on is not just a fuckup."
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"It's my legacy."
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"Got it? No fuckups."
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"Ma'am? Uh, taking Leslie Kerr away from State"
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"has freaked the Iranians out. They trust him."
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"No, wait a minute. Hold on. I didn't... I didn't let anyone go from State."
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"Madam President. You asked me to swap out"
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"Leslie Kerr."
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"No! Leslie Carr!"
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"Carr! C-A-R-R."
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"That bitch from Energy. Remember I made that joke"
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"about she didn't have energy?"
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"Yeah, but her name is Leanne Carr, ma'am."
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"Oh, fuck, it is."
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"Oh, my God. Oh, shit!"
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"Oh, my God. What have you done to me, Kent?"
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"- I'm sorry? - You should have questioned the name."
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"I... should have. Yes. I apologize, Madam President."
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"Can... can we say that it was just an error?"
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"No, ma'am. The entire world would notice that."
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"Yeah, it's terrible PR. You might as well drive a suicide clown car"
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"into the fucking Lincoln Memorial."
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"Yes, I am still here."
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"Oh, my God. Is this gonna hurt us in the polls?"
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"I can't see how it won't."
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"What does that mean? Is that a yes?"
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"If you mean to say yes, then say yes. You're the fucking yes-man."
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"- Yes. - Okay, here's what you're gonna do."
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"You go to New Hampshire and you attach some electrodes"
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"to the corpse of my campaign, okay? I'm gonna stay here"
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"- and I'm gonna deal with this Leslie Carr bullshit. - Leanne Carr."
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"Okay, whatever the fuck. What man is named Leslie, for fuck's sakes?"
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"Leslie Nielsen. Leslie Moonves."
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"- Leslie Frazier, the coach for the Vikings... - Huh?"
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"Doesn't matter. You're... good speech."
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"Ma'am? Secretary Maddox"
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"- would like a meeting, stat. - No. Stat."
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"- He's useless. He's a one-inch cock. - Got it."
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"All right."
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"Welcome to the White House."
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"into the history books with a squeaky-clean speech."
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"relationship with Iran grows considerably more tense..."
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"It was a mishearing"
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"which lead to a misspeaking which led to a misfiring."
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"- Human error? - Yes, simple human error."
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"- Which human? - Several separate humans, Sean."
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"I mean, we all make mistakes... just ask your mom and dad."
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"Has President Meyer spoken to the president of Iran?"
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"I'm not able to, uh, answer that."
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"Otherwise I'd have to have you killed."
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"Does the President believe this is a moment for levity?"
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"Uh..."
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"No, she... she does not. Does not."
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"Two hours in office and already"
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"President Meyer is making Iran irate."
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"Imagine what she could do in 24 hours."
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"Imagine Selina Meyer is the only person keeping your children safe at night."
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"'Cause she is. Let's vote her out"
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"and make the Commander-in-Chief a Commander-in-Brief."
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"That is powerful stuff."
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"- Makes you think. - Mm-hmm."
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"Decided to take a break from the phones."
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"- Couple of rude calls. - It does hurt your feelings."
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"You know, 'F' this, Shove your whatever into your what..."
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"I mean..."
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"I'm just gonna get some fresh air, we'll be right back to it."
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"- I think they were deprived of fresh air at birth."
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"Okay, Maddox is gonna withdraw."
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"- How does this work for us? - He might endorse Selina,"
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"but... Jeff Kane was backing him."
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"He could bring in the senior citizens."
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"They only got one vote left in 'em, we need it."
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"Do we really wanna push the Jonah's-uncle alarm?"
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"We have to. We just need bodies now, Amy."
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"Warm, upright bodies that can still punch a hole in a card."
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"Kent, your rhetoric, as always, is inspiring."
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"I am calling Dan."
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"Okay, Amy, yes. I'll find him."
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"I mean, how hard can it be?"
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"Hey, Jonah."
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"You know, buddy, I have been mean and I'm sorry."
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"What kind of idiot do you think I am?"
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"- Is there a choice? - I only have one asset"
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"that you would be interested in"
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"and that's my Uncle Jeff's bucket of votes."
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"Great! So you'll get us Uncle Jeff?"
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"Oh... no, I'm just gettin' started."
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"I want West Exec parking for the Cube,"
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"and I want mess hall privileges."
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"No. That's... that's impossible."
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"Well, then you better possible-ize it, Dan."
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"And I want somebody that works for me."
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"I want an assistant, a gopher, a servant."
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"- Oh, you want a Jonah? - Yeah! I want a Jonah."
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"- Mmhmm. - And henceforth they will no longer"
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"be known as Jonahs. They'll be known as..."
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"Jimmys or Pepes or Sarahs or whatever the fuck"
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"that person's name turns out to be."
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"And you can't hire anyone named Jonah."
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