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Clips from Portlandia - The Story of Toni & Candace (S05E05)

Hi there. Is this the women's and children's first

"Hi there. Is this the women's and children's first"

Portlandia

No, Women and Women first. Oh, Women and Women's First. Hi my name is Rick and I'm working for the Killingsworth Neighborhood News.

"No, Women and Women first. Oh, Women and Women's First. Hi my name is Rick and I'm working for the Killingsworth Neighborhood News."

Portlandia

couple questions of store if you have time you we didn is to be real brief probably take and

"couple questions of store if you have time you we didn is to be real brief probably take and"

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nbsp sn okay's well hours for the store do you have men

"nbsp sn okay's well hours for the store do you have men"

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and women so I the joint what kind of an article is this going to be an expose is akin to be and that

"and women so I the joint what kind of an article is this going to be an expose is akin to be and that"

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is a can of beans cute is this teachers store it's just for the about just to in

"is a can of beans cute is this teachers store it's just for the about just to in"

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the nepa well okay the year was nineteen ninety one nd New York City I was working as a senior VP of crown books

"the nepa well okay the year was nineteen ninety one nd New York City I was working as a senior VP of crown books"

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corporate learning everyone on what is that Caucasian sank at Dustin flowing through my veins on my and

"corporate learning everyone on what is that Caucasian sank at Dustin flowing through my veins on my and"

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here I it I was head of the business and acquisitions for developing corporate making sure there is a bit daunting every

"here I it I was head of the business and acquisitions for developing corporate making sure there is a bit daunting every"

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mall in America Brits nnj eyes and inclusive well %HESITATION dnmt

"mall in America Brits nnj eyes and inclusive well %HESITATION dnmt"

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ju ju ju ju dnmt are you know who to close a deal on for

"ju ju ju ju dnmt are you know who to close a deal on for"

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Monica well you know I mean every time they didn't what I want and I was I just kept saying talk yeah dnmt

"Monica well you know I mean every time they didn't what I want and I was I just kept saying talk yeah dnmt"

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I guess I without a bag sn and nbsp everyone appreciates my efforts and you

"I guess I without a bag sn and nbsp everyone appreciates my efforts and you"

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know lay in a lack holy tell well in nineteen ninety two everything seller acquired the crown book corporation to form the largest chain of bookstores in the kind at

"know lay in a lack holy tell well in nineteen ninety two everything seller acquired the crown book corporation to form the largest chain of bookstores in the kind at"

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the top Bruce needs was a coke in the bathroom was a kind of wolf in wolf's clothing tall blonde

"the top Bruce needs was a coke in the bathroom was a kind of wolf in wolf's clothing tall blonde"

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handsome he was relentless good by crown and beat the odds hello I want to make mincemeat out I suppose as the

"handsome he was relentless good by crown and beat the odds hello I want to make mincemeat out I suppose as the"

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boss would like to see you know I had a meeting with Chris you on your way out among Chris how long well I can just Tony

"boss would like to see you know I had a meeting with Chris you on your way out among Chris how long well I can just Tony"

Portlandia

roast beef he tells I look at you remembers before now but in the past I guess well I see two getting cozy dnmt

"roast beef he tells I look at you remembers before now but in the past I guess well I see two getting cozy dnmt"

Portlandia

I what a pleasure please have a seat I got so excited to have the two of you all under one big corps who

"I what a pleasure please have a seat I got so excited to have the two of you all under one big corps who"

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Clint chick lit but what is that books for women written by women I we've got a habit we need and you too being

"Clint chick lit but what is that books for women written by women I we've got a habit we need and you too being"

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by far the most qualified Hicks in the corporation I thought perhaps I don't know when if you would like running

"by far the most qualified Hicks in the corporation I thought perhaps I don't know when if you would like running"

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I can do uhhuh dnmt one of the tests

"I can do uhhuh dnmt one of the tests"

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my plan was to pick you two against each other some good old fashioned office competition %HESITATION uncertainty

"my plan was to pick you two against each other some good old fashioned office competition %HESITATION uncertainty"

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Markov side to do this position I disagree I'm actually tomorrow because I don't you know Jesse's the Acura and

"Markov side to do this position I disagree I'm actually tomorrow because I don't you know Jesse's the Acura and"

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the other one I'm pretty they have among if you allow tell I'm well it appears we've reached an impasse turning this an

"the other one I'm pretty they have among if you allow tell I'm well it appears we've reached an impasse turning this an"

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experienced canisters recollection is murky at that I myself was a bit of a whiz kit Tony the pony they called and

"experienced canisters recollection is murky at that I myself was a bit of a whiz kit Tony the pony they called and"

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I was a whiz one when I went to the bathroom it was allowed I was called Candace that woman looks like a horse he pees like a horse anyway

"I was a whiz one when I went to the bathroom it was allowed I was called Candace that woman looks like a horse he pees like a horse anyway"

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we got a table it to do use and just sat there and really got to know each either you do watch Murphy brown lost they

"we got a table it to do use and just sat there and really got to know each either you do watch Murphy brown lost they"

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could have so I thought so too definitely important all done and while planning so handsome mousy girl

"could have so I thought so too definitely important all done and while planning so handsome mousy girl"

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like human beings bats well I have crept in Philadelphia dot when to Harvard and MIT are

"like human beings bats well I have crept in Philadelphia dot when to Harvard and MIT are"

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going to have to go to MIT they beg me to come please please in your brains your beauty you can really do it here for us and a mighty man nnj

"going to have to go to MIT they beg me to come please please in your brains your beauty you can really do it here for us and a mighty man nnj"

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leann go to graduate school for the man and what kind of man do you do friends were doing other friends a favor nnj

"leann go to graduate school for the man and what kind of man do you do friends were doing other friends a favor nnj"

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I mean you I can tell you anything kids who was like a game of chess all strategy and I think each other out but

"I mean you I can tell you anything kids who was like a game of chess all strategy and I think each other out but"

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it was checkers to in its own way in the position of the clean which is chest which was my sorry original analogy getting

"it was checkers to in its own way in the position of the clean which is chest which was my sorry original analogy getting"

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close to about do you where it's now see finding out what we because let me give you some advice I slept around every

"close to about do you where it's now see finding out what we because let me give you some advice I slept around every"

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in the company of our tenth slightly at the top to the bottom to the left of that right mean directions you can even imagine but

"in the company of our tenth slightly at the top to the bottom to the left of that right mean directions you can even imagine but"

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it got me here even on a desk in the new officer Shelley just put that in there for things will get in my way not

"it got me here even on a desk in the new officer Shelley just put that in there for things will get in my way not"

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nnj nnj

"nnj nnj"

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we don't link zero twenty four seven sometimes are close but I'm bent over from behind and I don't judge your methods but

"we don't link zero twenty four seven sometimes are close but I'm bent over from behind and I don't judge your methods but"

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I do not abide by them I might seem benign and even we will never never get this job nmotion

"I do not abide by them I might seem benign and even we will never never get this job nmotion"

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backend I think he was speaking chocolate should be an oasis in that bookstore there's Tom Clancy all their steam could solve

"backend I think he was speaking chocolate should be an oasis in that bookstore there's Tom Clancy all their steam could solve"

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everything changes we could she puts it's pn cozy Ntuli

"everything changes we could she puts it's pn cozy Ntuli"

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I want these books shoved in people's face I want these pages crumpled up and put down people's throats

"I want these books shoved in people's face I want these pages crumpled up and put down people's throats"

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Rhonda we make a reservation for seven people at eight o'clock to choose for dinner at seven a to to see right

"Rhonda we make a reservation for seven people at eight o'clock to choose for dinner at seven a to to see right"

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reservation it to two Senate Tuesday yam seven people seven people eight climbed up any

"reservation it to two Senate Tuesday yam seven people seven people eight climbed up any"

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favor canceling reservations turntables to take tables of two for churches Rhonda reserve yeah Nancy

"favor canceling reservations turntables to take tables of two for churches Rhonda reserve yeah Nancy"

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say twenties mentally ill not I'm sorry I can't do that I think you can't know I have a lot of mental illness that my family I have a lot of for

"say twenties mentally ill not I'm sorry I can't do that I think you can't know I have a lot of mental illness that my family I have a lot of for"

Portlandia

India I'm not did you your family history I'm sorry for yelling because weight watchers going where you crying funded

"India I'm not did you your family history I'm sorry for yelling because weight watchers going where you crying funded"

Portlandia

Wiesen canister Bela Hey Randa or you take Tony's classes and get a magic marker and black

"Wiesen canister Bela Hey Randa or you take Tony's classes and get a magic marker and black"

Portlandia

in the mountain back on her face again and step on while their interface only to find it strikingly Maelgwn canonical

"in the mountain back on her face again and step on while their interface only to find it strikingly Maelgwn canonical"

Portlandia

here that's on the phone I thought it was just a male growing interface did you the latest New York times run to throw away the newest New York time is

"here that's on the phone I thought it was just a male growing interface did you the latest New York times run to throw away the newest New York time is"

Portlandia

Rick back from Hawaii London time run button to a thunderous soccer game tonight find out I can get some in my mini fridge wanted to find out your when soccer game run

"Rick back from Hawaii London time run button to a thunderous soccer game tonight find out I can get some in my mini fridge wanted to find out your when soccer game run"

Portlandia

and I don't want to be the two of you would like it's like a tennis match of Forest Hills is going to be Tony chocolate

"and I don't want to be the two of you would like it's like a tennis match of Forest Hills is going to be Tony chocolate"

Portlandia

department defy for her I didn't do must be hard being and nothing a nd are you guys open on Sunday are

"department defy for her I didn't do must be hard being and nothing a nd are you guys open on Sunday are"

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you even listening to our story yes well listen to the we a star so let's well and write it down okay

"you even listening to our story yes well listen to the we a star so let's well and write it down okay"

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thank you the competition was on dnmt I think Tony

"thank you the competition was on dnmt I think Tony"

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girl a nd nndb it's not the worst which color and

"girl a nd nndb it's not the worst which color and"

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nbsp all right now leann

"nbsp all right now leann"

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dnmt nnj

"dnmt nnj"

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"let me guess can December eleventh a part of my whole life elementary school high college the working so beautiful I love your profile engaging"

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you in when he had a son if your voice I wrote this on the back I think this pn get ready for the ride of your life dnmt

"you in when he had a son if your voice I wrote this on the back I think this pn get ready for the ride of your life dnmt"

Portlandia

air bags with your names it's nnj

"air bags with your names it's nnj"

Portlandia

I love watch right right now brides mean they actually believe that they're going to get I mean it's a sad really of course I'm

"I love watch right right now brides mean they actually believe that they're going to get I mean it's a sad really of course I'm"

Portlandia

going to give it a man listen I need suggestions I will testosterone I need to see you

"going to give it a man listen I need suggestions I will testosterone I need to see you"

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know I mean ball so I need someone who's decision making is not infinite cycles of the moon my

"know I mean ball so I need someone who's decision making is not infinite cycles of the moon my"

Portlandia

plan is to bring in a fellow to tie I want some tweaks and so suggestions and cares ones is not women hello

"plan is to bring in a fellow to tie I want some tweaks and so suggestions and cares ones is not women hello"

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mtn neither of us are getting at ever dnmt Candace

"mtn neither of us are getting at ever dnmt Candace"

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Kennedy said Tony ntis job is too important to kids who nnj

"Kennedy said Tony ntis job is too important to kids who nnj"

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is but it so acted something advice I was good at it nbae can the head take the lead knowing

"is but it so acted something advice I was good at it nbae can the head take the lead knowing"

Portlandia

I could be the head of his I can just let we are not going to force face you don't I do he's he's so cool it

"I could be the head of his I can just let we are not going to force face you don't I do he's he's so cool it"

Portlandia

was so weird I mean for his house drank a little bit Nicholas you like motel get like motel that

"was so weird I mean for his house drank a little bit Nicholas you like motel get like motel that"

Portlandia

he said that this man didn't work so I had to go downstairs to get some kind of another plug and doctors had any Hey

"he said that this man didn't work so I had to go downstairs to get some kind of another plug and doctors had any Hey"

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I hope you like Motown and I'm thinking doing way saying this to me over and over again I'll get

"I hope you like Motown and I'm thinking doing way saying this to me over and over again I'll get"

Portlandia

up here and I don top of them and they just like rode him I mean I grind it so hard I mean I thought that that was going to break she

"up here and I don top of them and they just like rode him I mean I grind it so hard I mean I thought that that was going to break she"

Portlandia

was using you see you just keep thinking having been around he would speak but I hate men now that's

"was using you see you just keep thinking having been around he would speak but I hate men now that's"

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when everything changed we swore from that point John that we would never throw another woman under the bus to get ahead we

"when everything changed we swore from that point John that we would never throw another woman under the bus to get ahead we"

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were no longer Sarah yes we were sisters I'm not going to let Bruce or some other man when the church and

"were no longer Sarah yes we were sisters I'm not going to let Bruce or some other man when the church and"

Portlandia

check it should be something to her what it means for women to be part of literature little category you've given we've been given a crumbly didn it's

"check it should be something to her what it means for women to be part of literature little category you've given we've been given a crumbly didn it's"

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great that we can do facing to invade our faces with I'm angry during the love we I've alright

"great that we can do facing to invade our faces with I'm angry during the love we I've alright"

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everybody alright everybody settle down listen it always did with a lot of mumbo jumbo that it is search so

"everybody alright everybody settle down listen it always did with a lot of mumbo jumbo that it is search so"

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over I've found the stars to head the chick lit department I mean I know we want to promote from within but

"over I've found the stars to head the chick lit department I mean I know we want to promote from within but"

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these two they came into the interview and in my face with their balls because that's what happened so here they can share

"these two they came into the interview and in my face with their balls because that's what happened so here they can share"

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get dnmt yeah dnmt we have to stay you too dressed up as men was Tony's idea just

"get dnmt yeah dnmt we have to stay you too dressed up as men was Tony's idea just"

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a couple of weeks and some mustaches and suits works like a charm you know how mad I am right now is a guy I don't take nothing from Skyrim

"a couple of weeks and some mustaches and suits works like a charm you know how mad I am right now is a guy I don't take nothing from Skyrim"

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unlike I think we're gonna bring them the manpower that %HESITATION chiclet the part needs balls

"unlike I think we're gonna bring them the manpower that %HESITATION chiclet the part needs balls"

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limits and my old bones the nnj lift up nnj

"limits and my old bones the nnj lift up nnj"

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so dnmt and you just the start of the high seas right

"so dnmt and you just the start of the high seas right"

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nice angle you know who has a crazy old thatching I'm talking like a heavy dangling can

"nice angle you know who has a crazy old thatching I'm talking like a heavy dangling can"

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phn couldn't get her off Madonna nndb nndb wasn't mutual didn't

"phn couldn't get her off Madonna nndb nndb wasn't mutual didn't"

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seem like maybe you both have what got into it together when talking about can't you it wasn't there sense of like lateral kinds annoyance she

"seem like maybe you both have what got into it together when talking about can't you it wasn't there sense of like lateral kinds annoyance she"

Portlandia

just ate it all up and running dummy on how to get I like that John Negroponte went to you know she's pretty brilliant and

"just ate it all up and running dummy on how to get I like that John Negroponte went to you know she's pretty brilliant and"

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beautiful itself to me for a horse easy what that governors and was about while was awakened when you say based you

"beautiful itself to me for a horse easy what that governors and was about while was awakened when you say based you"

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mean ask and nbsp yes nnj right you're at the center me

"mean ask and nbsp yes nnj right you're at the center me"

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they say about women he's just so mad her older son sexist I hate women tickets either charade anymore I

"they say about women he's just so mad her older son sexist I hate women tickets either charade anymore I"

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don't want you to either nnova match nothing plastic surgery one I would hate they'll just say that no one

"don't want you to either nnova match nothing plastic surgery one I would hate they'll just say that no one"

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would ever great job guess what CNN and fn OneNote

"would ever great job guess what CNN and fn OneNote"

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sn they unn

"sn they unn"

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I I don't think this when leaving not coming with us I know that it's totally women until I'm just a little yes

"I I don't think this when leaving not coming with us I know that it's totally women until I'm just a little yes"

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it's women nnj jn I could see but

"it's women nnj jn I could see but"

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when you look at ceramics one by the proof you require removal faith it makes ladies nnj

"when you look at ceramics one by the proof you require removal faith it makes ladies nnj"

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pn Gennaro he lets go dnmt

"pn Gennaro he lets go dnmt"

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nnj I mean we're going to go I don't it's me and that's how we end here Sir track you down know Bruce never found us customers

"nnj I mean we're going to go I don't it's me and that's how we end here Sir track you down know Bruce never found us customers"

Portlandia

can barely find we've been hanging out the nonprofit world ever since okay well I mean angel was right she's no one would find his sunline

"can barely find we've been hanging out the nonprofit world ever since okay well I mean angel was right she's no one would find his sunline"

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mn sep dnmt well that's the day yeah you know I don't fast nnj and

"mn sep dnmt well that's the day yeah you know I don't fast nnj and"

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nbsp nnj and nbsp maybe thing is I would be that's

"nbsp nnj and nbsp maybe thing is I would be that's"

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where it out we do a big without a microscope mind you don't have it all watch you guys won with we user forum nnj

"where it out we do a big without a microscope mind you don't have it all watch you guys won with we user forum nnj"

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