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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Tom Urinates on Boston/First Responder (S01E01)

"- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And saves a life today ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom just ran into the bus!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is this really happening?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who is playing this music? It is fucking perfect!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ When a hero comes along ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ You will not forget ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's alive! Are you seeing this?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whoo, this little guy saved my life."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Thank you, Tom. [cheers and applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what, Tom? You're a hero."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Please, please. Don't call me a hero."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's just what I do. I run towards fire."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I run towards fire and flames."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Look at that article. - Thanks, Mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This--this is amazing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, I wanted to treat you to something nice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is big. I'm, like, an A-list mom now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- But the hero's mom is usually not the focus of the story."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, it should be"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"'cause the hero had to come out of the mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, hope you folks enjoyed your meal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We are so grateful for what your son did."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can I have everyone's attention, please?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What are you--what are you--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My dad, God rest his soul,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"was a first responder like this young man here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He performed many heroic acts."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Saved an old lady in a kayak once."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's amazing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Pulled multiple cats from trees--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Multiple cats?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- But he tragically died while trying to deep fry a turkey."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, what a story."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So as a tribute to him,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we'd like to offer Tom free meals for life."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[applause] - Wow."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's amazing. Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is for you, Dad. - Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can my mom eat free too? - Well..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes, we'll extend it to the whole family."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, wow! How about Nelson? Nelson too?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is he family? Who's this Nelson?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's more of a friend, but, you know--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We'll discuss it. - He's in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We'll make it a friends and family deal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We'll even name a dish after you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Anything you want."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Something cheap. Like, a hot dog, maybe?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How about something fancy?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Why don't you carve a bust of Tom's head out of meat..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, what? - Drench it in gravy,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and then light it on fire."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That sounds insanely expensive."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- In memory of Dad, consider it done."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[cheers and applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Kids, I hope you're enjoying the new B3000"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and the fact that Tom saved my life."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, say a few words."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, glad I could save everyone's lives"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and get us a sweet new bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I know I put Yasmine's rescue to shame,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but hey, it's not a competition, so thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I heard you get free food at the diner."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can we get in on that? - Sorry, Hector."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's just friends and family, so..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, are we not friends? - Friends?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I mean, more bus mates."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So we're all just nameless faces on a bus?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wow. [all booing]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, hey. Stop. Stop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Eat this, Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, you're losing the crowd, man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tell 'em what they wanna hear."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, you know what? Fine."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If you go to the diner, just tell 'em Tom sent you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[cheers and applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, I'd like to order the Tom Special,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and can I get that for free?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"'Cause my best friend Tom sent me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I get a flaming meat things for free?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Yeah, I'm friends with the little dude"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"who did the thing with the bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Yeah, I'm also friends with Michael Bay, no big deal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, I'm friends with Tom and I'm also a first responder."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I put out a volcano."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And so I'd like a Tom Special for free."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So that's a dozen Tom Specials."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All for free. - Yep."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Since these people are friends and family."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And Mountain Dews all around, baby."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [sighs] - Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You guys are very generous."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Kinda like royalty in this place."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The king of the diner. They treat me nice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't believe this weasel keeps coming in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He brought ten friends, Pete."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- She talking about me? - Well, we did make the offer."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's double-fisting the most expensive things on the menu."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Double-fisting? - Calm down, honey."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's just hope he unexpectedly dies"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or moves out of town."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, Tom. Oof."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Man, you really screwing over these nice people."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- She's much friendlier when she's taking the orders."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't believe this is free!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"10 pounds of meat"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"carved into the shape of your son's head?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, those are the perks of having a hero son."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[door clicks] - Oh, hey, Ma."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What the hell is going on here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I started a Free Food Snack Club"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for some of the moms."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What? All right. You know what? That does it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We need to cut this off. Everybody out."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Party's over. Donate the meat to somebody."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ladies, excuse me for a second."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm gonna go talk to my son."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He seems to be having a breakdown."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[whispering] Hey, what are you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
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