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Clips from Bad Santa 2

"What do you want, a fucking jackhammer? Goddamn, I nearly broke my fucking pelvis."
Bad Santa 2
"No, I mean hurry up and cum. I can hear someone."
Bad Santa 2
"Call me "Santa.""
Bad Santa 2
"Fine."
Bad Santa 2
"- Fuck me, Santa. - Louder."
Bad Santa 2
"- Fuck me, Santa! - There you go."
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"- No, more. - Oh, fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!"
Bad Santa 2
"Oh."
Bad Santa 2
"Merry fucking Christmas."
Bad Santa 2
"- All right, then. - That also..."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I know! Uh, it never happened. I get it."
Bad Santa 2
"U m, I ain't exactly what you call the romantic type, you know."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't go in for all the sappy shit."
Bad Santa 2
"But, um, I gotta tell you, you got gigantic titties."
Bad Santa 2
"- And that's no shit. - Um... thanks?"
Bad Santa 2
"No sweat."
Bad Santa 2
"See you."
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck."
Bad Santa 2
"- This better be an emergency. - Willie, where are you?"
Bad Santa 2
"I'm in Chicago, but I can't find you anywhere."
Bad Santa 2
"Wait, hang on a second. What are you doing in fucking Chicago?"
Bad Santa 2
"I wanted to surprise you for Christmas."
Bad Santa 2
"The best Christmas gifts are always a surprise."
Bad Santa 2
"Are you off of your goddamn nut? Is that what you do?"
Bad Santa 2
"You follow people all the way across the fucking country?"
Bad Santa 2
"Not everyone. Just you."
Bad Santa 2
"- Are you surprised? - No, this shit happens every day."
Bad Santa 2
"- It does? - No. On what fucking planet...?"
Bad Santa 2
"Never mind. What the fuck are you doing?"
Bad Santa 2
"Uh, Willie, it's really cold here. I didn't bring a coat. Only my gloves."
Bad Santa 2
"Goddamn it. You gotta be shitting me."
Bad Santa 2
"Do you got a pencil or some shit to write on?"
Bad Santa 2
"Who is it?"
Bad Santa 2
"- Who the fuck are you? - Grandma Willie!"
Bad Santa 2
"And Willie was in such a hurry to get me my elephant"
Bad Santa 2
"that I guess he forgot to pay for it."
Bad Santa 2
"And that made the policemen really mad. So they followed him back to the house."
Bad Santa 2
"And Willie ran really fast and he almost got to the door,"
Bad Santa 2
"but then they shot him like eight times in the back."
Bad Santa 2
"In the cowboy movies, they say that's not even fair."
Bad Santa 2
"And this is the first present Willie ever got me for Christmas."
Bad Santa 2
"With his blood."
Bad Santa 2
"- Willie, you're home! - Goddamn, kid. Watch the spine bone."
Bad Santa 2
"I was just telling your mom how you're a hero."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, yeah. Hang on a second."
Bad Santa 2
"You didn't bring a fucking coat, but you brought that elephant?"
Bad Santa 2
"- You didn't tell me to bring a coat. - I didn't tell you to come."
Bad Santa 2
"- Is this your spawn? - Do I look like I made him?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, if this ain't fetal alcohol syndrome,"
Bad Santa 2
"then what the fuck is it?"
Bad Santa 2
"- He keeps trying to make me a sandwich. - That's what he does."
Bad Santa 2
"Elf!"
Bad Santa 2
"Hey! You get that key?"
Bad Santa 2
"You got smaller."
Bad Santa 2
"What the... Am I tripping?"
Bad Santa 2
"You might be, because, you know, certain pussy"
Bad Santa 2
"has hallucinogenic aftereffects if you eat too much of it."
Bad Santa 2
"I found out the hard way once when I messed with my own kind."
Bad Santa 2
"One time, I ate too much turkey bacon, I didn't poop for two weeks."
Bad Santa 2
"For four weeks."
Bad Santa 2
"- The key, shorty. - Okay, first of all, fuck you!"
Bad Santa 2
"See that? I told you. I knew he didn't have it in him."
Bad Santa 2
"And second of all, what in the fuck is he doing here?"
Bad Santa 2
"- That is not how you serve a sandwich. - Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"I'm working on it, okay?"
Bad Santa 2
"Hey, kid, listen."
Bad Santa 2
"This is really not the right place for you to be, okay?"
Bad Santa 2
"Because there's not enough beds? I only counted one, plus a couch."
Bad Santa 2
"- Exactly. - You should get bunk beds, Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, maybe we'll do that."
Bad Santa 2
"But, uh, in the meantime, let's you and me head out, all right?"
Bad Santa 2
"Bye, Elf. Bye, Willie's mom."
Bad Santa 2
"My mom's in Jesus' house with Mary and Joseph and the talking walnut."
Bad Santa 2
"- You 100 percent sure he's not yours? - Yeah."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, then, cut him loose. Set some boundaries, for chrissake."
Bad Santa 2
"You can't have every stray following you around like a lost puppy."
Bad Santa 2
"- Jesus! - I said I'm going, okay?"
Bad Santa 2
"Can we get a Chicago pizza? It's like pizza, but in Chicago."
Bad Santa 2
"Yeah, we'll get a pizza. No sweat."
Bad Santa 2
"This is really fun, Willie. I didn't even know you had a mom."
Bad Santa 2
"- What'd you think? I was just hatched? - Well, where were you born?"
Bad Santa 2
"I was born in the Pulaski County Juvenile Detention Center in Little Rock, Arkansas."
Bad Santa 2
"- Oh, that sounds really nice. - Well, it wasn't nice."
Bad Santa 2
"And she's a mean fucking bitch, so don't go getting any ideas, all right?"
Bad Santa 2
"Well, sometimes you're not nice. But you're still Santa."
Bad Santa 2
"Listen kid, seriously. You're all grown-up and shit now, okay?"
Bad Santa 2
"- You gotta stop that. - Well, I know you're not the Santa."
Bad Santa 2
"But you're still my Santa."
Bad Santa 2
"Come on. Let's go."
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck."
Bad Santa 2
"Fuck! Fucking pussy!"
Bad Santa 2
"Look at all the Santas! I really get to stay here?"
Bad Santa 2
"Goddamn right."
Bad Santa 2
"So how long is the kid staying here?"
Bad Santa 2
"Hell if I know, I ain't his fucking secretary."
Bad Santa 2
"- You run the joint. - Cook, you crack me up."
Bad Santa 2
"I what?"
Bad Santa 2
"Boarding room's downstairs on the left. Any bed that's not taken."
Bad Santa 2
"Alrighty, here we go."
Bad Santa 2
"Now listen, don't be sitting on any toilet seats."
Bad Santa 2
"If you gotta take a shit just stand over it, couple of feet away,"
Bad Santa 2
"take aim and blow it in there."
Bad Santa 2
"'Cause I'm pretty sure crabs can jump. All right?"
Bad Santa 2
"Don't let anybody muscle up on you in the showers either,"
Bad Santa 2
"because they'll try."
Bad Santa 2
"And if a fight breaks out, go straight for the nuts or gouge an eye out."
Bad Santa 2
"I don't think I like it here, Willie."
Bad Santa 2
"Then you should go home, like I told you to start with."
Bad Santa 2
"But it's not home if there's nobody there."
Bad Santa 2
"What about Granny? I'm sure she misses you."
Bad Santa 2
"- She died. - When?"
Bad Santa 2
"Two years ago."
Bad Santa 2
"Same day as the President's Day sale at Blue Mesa Toyota and Scion"
Bad Santa 2
"where they put the "whee" in wheels."
Bad Santa 2
"Well, Granny had a good run."
Bad Santa 2
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