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Clips from Weeds - Grasshopper (S03E03)

"Needs a caterer. You'll thank me later."
Weeds
"Hey, you did a good job."
Weeds
"How much of the budget did you stuff in your bra?"
Weeds
"Er, half."
Weeds
"- Can I feel? - No."
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"In that case, next time, spring for a hall."
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"Now, you see that fellow, Baldy, the white-haired clown?"
Weeds
"Let me know when he's good and shitfaced. I need his signature on something."
Weeds
"And that woman in the Chanel knockoff."
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"She needs the recipe for the stuffed mushrooms."
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"She's a big fan. She's also someone's wife."
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"I need to borrow her for a minute. You are going to talk to me."
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"In, in. OK, listen."
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"I know that we're in the middle of the party and everything,"
Weeds
"but, Nancy, you have got to stop hating me."
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"- I don't hate you. - But you do."
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"Celia, I don't. Listen, you got me a job."
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"What's done is done. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just leave it."
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"Good, then."
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"- OK? - I'm glad."
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"- Great. - God damn it!"
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"These fucking ankle-strap shoes."
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"Has Sullivan ever talked about me?"
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"- What? - Has he ever mentioned me?"
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"Er..."
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"- Yes. He calls you the hot redhead. - Are you sure he was talking about me?"
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"Because I've always thought I was more..."
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"auburn with, like, strawberry-blonde highlights."
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"He was definitely talking about you. He likes you."
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"You should go be with him."
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"There you are. Matt Keefe doesn't have a drink in his hand."
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"Hey, man, what's up? Did you tell some woman in a Chanel knockoff"
Weeds
"she could go through my recipe box?"
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"Out, out, all of you, all of you!"
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"This room is off limits! OK? Out. Get out."
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"- I'm really glad... - Get out!"
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"- What are you doing down here? - These little smokies are like crack."
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"Well, don't eat too many of them. They're filled with nitrates."
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"- I really have to talk to you. - Well, bad time."
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"We'll talk later. I promise."
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"- You look beautiful tonight. - Thank you."
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"- I want to thank you for being my date. - You're welcome."
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"- You know I'm gonna keep trying. - Good."
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"Who are you?"
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"A sheep in God's flock."
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"Let me hear you say baa!"
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"Baa!"
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"You want a drink?"
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"Mr. Johnson gave it to me after he confused me with his war buddy."
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"I don't drink."
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"Wine's OK because Jesus drank that,"
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"but other than wine, I don't drink."
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"- But you smoke. - Only weed, not cigarettes."
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"Never cigarettes."
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"You don't drink, you don't smoke cigarettes."
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"- Let me guess, you don't have sex either? - Not until I'm married."
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"How can you be all into Jesus and still smoke weed?"
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"Because pot is natural."
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"It's not processed."
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"It's made by God himself, so it's spiritual."
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"It elevates you, opens your mind."
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"That's what God's love is all about."
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"- I can see your boner. - Fuck."
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"Don't be embarrassed. I mean, that's part of God's love, too."
Weeds
"Once you're married."
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"You're right. My virginity is for my husband."
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"But that doesn't mean we can't have some fun."
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"Oh!"
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"- You OK? - Of course."
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"I was just at this party last night"
Weeds
"and felt up on two big-booty freaks, that's all."
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"- They kept a brother up all night. - I'm coming!"
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"Keeping up with my heart rate, swinging my arms."
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"You gonna let him beat you? Come on! First one to the next tree wins!"
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"U-Turn?"
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"U-Turn! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Marvin!"
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"- What is it? What's wrong with him? - He got high blood pressure."
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"I saw some people at the bottom of the hill."
Weeds
"Ask them if they have a banana. He needs potassium!"
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"I'll stay here. You'll be OK. U-Turn."
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"You bitch-ass bitch."
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"I got you now."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"This is for saying I was too stupid to be your second in command."
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"And this is for laughing at me for going to Dreamgirls,"
Weeds
"and for never letting me count the money."
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"You gonna die, motherfucker."
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"U-Turn!"
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"- Don't die on me, cuz! - No one has any bananas."
Weeds
"We need to get him out of here. Let's pick him up."
Weeds
"U-Turn's dead!"
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"He's dead! What am I supposed to do now, man?"
Weeds
"What the fuck am I supposed to do, man?"
Weeds
"Previously on Weeds."
Weeds
"Behold, the incorporated city of Majestic."
Weeds
"What we need is to redirect a small portion of our sewage through your town."
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"Shit highway could be our road to riches."
Weeds
"We need these votes."
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"Golf membership."
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"- I play house. - Motion is passed."
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"It was Celia Hodes who recommended that I speak to you."
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"You just got yourself a job."
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"This community service thing is totally unsupervised."
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"- You sold $2,000 in a day. - Impressive, huh?"
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"Your brother is mad at me. I put him in Majestic summer school."
Weeds
"Maybe you and I can solve a murder."
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"Blood samples point to Kyle and Jill."
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"Jill had an abortion."
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"I'm setting in front of you documents"
Weeds
"which will honourably discharge you from the United States Army Reserves."
Weeds
"- Can you grow here? - Hell, yeah. It's perfect."
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"All right, teach me some more grow business."
Weeds
"Guillermo's crew is all moody cos I jacked his horse."
Weeds
"I left you a package in the garage. I need you to hold onto it for a spell."
Weeds
"Good morning. You want huevos rancheros?"
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"- Why are you cooking without clothes? - No, I have underwear on."
Weeds
"There's a cotton barrier between my eggs and yours."
Weeds
"Would you please take a walk into the laundry room with me?"
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"Oh, please tell me there's not a body in there."
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"- Yowza. - Heroin."
Weeds
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