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Clips from Day Shift

"I promise, if you give me that opportunity,"
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"I'm not gonna mess it up."
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"[clears throat]"
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"One last chance."
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"Now that we, uh, got that part settled,"
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"I'm gonna go freshen up my coffee and let you gentlemen cross those T's."
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"That's a great guy. Great guy."
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"Really appreciate this second chance."
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"I don't know what the hell that man sees in you, Jablonski."
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"I mean, I know you served together, but, frankly, I don't care."
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"I've made it my life's work keeping cowboys like you out of the Union,"
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"so I'll be watching you."
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"[menacingly] ♪ Every step you make ♪"
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"♪ Every shit you take ♪"
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"-♪ Every time you-- ♪ -[John] Everything good?"
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"Quite. [clears throat]"
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"Fill these out, all of them."
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"Once you pay your initial dues,"
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"we'll get you started on the health care plan."
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"There's dental included, right?"
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"After a probationary period lasting…"
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"30 days."
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"Come on, man. Three days."
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"Two weeks."
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"-One. -[sighs]"
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"Fine."
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"With a Union rep accompanying him in the field."
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"-Generous. Thank you. -[Seeger] Great."
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"All right. Thanks, and, uh…"
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"[clears throat] …I want the night shift."
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"-Not on my life. -[Bud] Come on, Seeger."
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"-That's where the big money is! -[Seeger] No. Not a chance."
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"Amount of shit you stirred up working night shift,"
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"you expect me to let you back out there where the sun don't shine?"
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"Fine."
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"Day shift."
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"Good. Anything else?"
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"No."
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"Oh, yeah. I got some, uh, teeth I need to sell."
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"Go to the cage."
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"Seeger, thank you kindly."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"And remember, Bud,"
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"one last strike."
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"Is… Are you referring to bowling, because…"
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"-I'm saying there's a strike in bowl-- -You're back. That's all that matters."
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"[indistinct PA announcement]"
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"Carol."
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"Carol, did you eat my yogurt again?"
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"I even wrote my name on the lid today,"
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"so you literally had to peel back my name to get to the yogurt."
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"Oh, what? You can't hear me?"
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"[sighs]"
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"I'm gonna fart in my yogurt, and you're gonna eat my fart."
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"Next."
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"[muttering]"
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"Mr. Jablonski?"
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"Yeah. Teeth."
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"So I look at it like this. I get back out there, do what I gotta do,"
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"you know, for Mr. Mullet."
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"[chuckles]"
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"This is chipped, female."
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"Appears to be an almost Elder, roughly 90 years old."
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"Ninety? You probably need to check that again."
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"-You sure it's 90? -I'm sure."
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"Huh."
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"Okay, whatever."
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"Full price still, right?"
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"I'm sorry. Code 107 in the book clearly states anything--"
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"Enough of the codes. It's fine."
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"-That's the net for the teeth. -Yeah, I'll come in… Hey!"
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"However, due to the truncated processing time,"
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"Mr. Seeger would like me to inform you we need your dues up front,"
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"which, of course, is $5,000."
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"$5,000? I thought it was two?"
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"Those are 2017 rates, Mr. Jablonski."
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"Then there is 15% off the top of every fang,"
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"and we have to hold 50% until we receive your paperwork."
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"And, of course, $10 for your membership card,"
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"which gets you one free app at Cheesecake Factory."
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"-I don't like cheesecake. -Do you have that?"
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"Why won't you take the $10 out of that? Taking everything else."
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"You don't have cash on you? You really wanna make me split this?"
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"Okay, you are good to go."
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"Am I?"
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"If you have any issues with this,"
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"Carol right here would be happy to further assist you."
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"Oh, great. I see you met your Union rep."
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"Huh."
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"What?"
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"[John] Come on, Bud."
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"Sir, please."
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"That new girl's a smoke show."
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"Right, but I'm begging you to reconsider. I'm not meant for the field."
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"I just bought an ergonomic chair with my own money. I'm all in on the desk."
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"That's why I need you out there with him."
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"Right? Someone who knows the codes to the letter."
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"-Okay, but-- -Hey, hey, hey."
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"Do you wanna move up here?"
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"You gotta get your ass out in the field. All right?"
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"Think about it this way,"
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"you're gonna be my eyes and ears, my friend."
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"-Right? -Right--"
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"And the minute he messes up, the minute he goes against code,"
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"you'll be there reporting it back to me, right?"
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"The sooner he fucks up,"
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"the sooner your sweet cheeks are in Carol's desk."
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"You work out?"
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"-A little. -Yeah, thought so."
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"♪ I remember ♪"
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"["I Learned My Lesson" by Willie Davis playing]"
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"♪ When I was just a bad little boy ♪"
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"♪ My momma used to tell me, "Son, they gonna read just what you say" ♪"
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"[banging at door]"
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"You're late."
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"Close it."
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"[sighs]"
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"I was actually here an hour ago, but you weren't,"
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"so I went to go get us breakfast."
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"I got you an organic, gluten-free, paleo bran muffin."
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