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Clips from Never Have I Ever - ...had a breakdown (S03E03)

"It's certainly better than the one you're working with now."
Never Have I Ever
"It's actually not, because I do have an F."
Never Have I Ever
"What's wrong with my plan?"
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"-It's insane. -Because I'm taking ten classes?"
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"No, I'm taking eleven classes, but three of them are bullshit electives."
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"Two arts and a class that's a nature walk once a week."
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"-My homework was to pick up an acorn. -You think that'll get you into Princeton?"
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"How much you smoking on the nature walks?"
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"They might look at my résumé and see a couple of easy A's,"
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"but it still will be better than when you get a bunch of B's."
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"How dare you? I would never get a B."
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"You will if you keep grinding away at your bonkers schedule."
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"I am really looking forward to becoming Valedictorian"
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"and looking at you sitting alphabetically with the rest of the losers at graduation."
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"Over my dead bu--"
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"Did you just say, "Over my dead butt"?"
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"I love that. Can I steal that from you?"
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"Devi, what--"
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"Devi, what did I tell you about closing the door when boys are here?"
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"You do not have to worry about these two. They barely register as boys to me."
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"God. Fine. Rhyah's coming over for dinner. Will you be joining us?"
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"Ugh! No, thanks. I'll just eat some frozen crap later."
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"All right, guys, I'll compile our work together"
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"and send it over to Ben"
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"because obviously, you have a better printing situation."
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"I will buy more black ink when we use up all the cyan."
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"Trent and Ben, you both are more than welcome to join if you'd like."
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"I wish I could, but I have six more hours of homework."
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"Damn, six hours of homework?"
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"Are you in medical school?"
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"-It's you. -Hey, Devi."
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"Who the dick is this?"
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"And why is she looking at him like that?"
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"Hey, Andy, John McEnroe here."
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"Let me clarify."
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"That's Des, and the reason why Ben doesn't remember him"
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"is because while Devi and Des were doing this at Trent's party,"
Never Have I Ever
"your boy was doing this."
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"Oh, right, the cousin who wasn't a cousin."
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"Yeah, we were a bit a-durnk that night."
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"Mom, can I steal you for a moment?"
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"-Why didn't you tell me we had guests? -I did, 30 minutes ago."
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"But you didn't tell me her son was coming too. God!"
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"In this moment, Ben forgot about his mountain of homework."
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"The only thing that mattered was seeing what the vibe was between these two."
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"You know what? I'd actually love to stay for dinner."
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"It smells amazing."
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"-Aw. -No doy."
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"The cardamom is frickin' aromatic, bro."
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"Hmm."
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"So, Des, what a fun surprise seeing you."
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"What you been up to?"
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"Maybe camping in the woods with no service?"
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"Or doing a tech cleanse in Joshua Tree?"
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"Oh, I wish he would do a tech cleanse."
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"This kid is nonstop texting all day long."
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"Wow. Nonstop texting?"
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"-Fascinating. -Is it?"
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"Well, sometimes my texts don't go through because service is spotty and stuff."
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"Hmm."
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"Yikes."
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"Now Ben was getting the picture,"
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"and his pangs of jealousy were turning to pity"
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"knowing Devi had been ditched by yet another pretty dummy."
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"Oh, we got big news today."
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"-Desi, tell Nalini Auntie. -Mom, come on, I don't need--"
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"Okay, fine. If you don't want to brag about yourself, then I will."
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"Des got into Stanford early."
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"- And now we're back to jealousy."
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"Are you all right, Ben?"
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"Food shouldn't be too spicy. I added milk to yours."
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"Oh, no, I'm… I'm okay."
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"So, how about that dinner last night? Someone seemed a little thirsty."
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"Yeah. You."
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"When you found out that Des was going to Stanford,"
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"you were like trying so hard to one-up him."
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"Mmm, no, I wasn't."
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"Yeah, you were. You started speaking to him in Mandarin out of nowhere."
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"Mm, I don't remember that."
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"Mmm."
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"I filmed it so I can make fun of you later."
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"You don't speak Mandarin? That's surprising."
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"Everyone really should speak it with how globalized the world is becoming."
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"Whatever. So what's your deal with him? Do you, like, like him or something?"
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"Mmm, I dunno. Do we talk about people we like now with each other?"
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"Yeah, why not?"
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"I mean, you see me plowing my way through half the girls at school."
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"Hmm. Okay. Well, it's weird."
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"He asked me for my number, and then I never heard from him again."
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"But last night, he was a little flirty, right?"
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"-With his mom? Yes. -Ben!"
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"Yeah, maybe there was a vibe there."
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"But it was hard to tell with how lame you were being."
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""I don't know if I'm gonna apply to Stanford. We'll see if it's a good fit.""
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"Let's be clear. You'd give 1,000 HJs to go to Stanford."
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"Do you want me to smack that meat tube out of your tiny hands and beat you with it?"
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"Fine. You want my advice? Stop trying so hard."
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"-Just be yourself and ask him out. -Really?"
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"Yeah. What do you have to lose? Certainly not your dignity."
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"Okay, guys, the moment has come."
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"Turn in your essays on how you will use calculus in real life."
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"Wait, what?"
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"We did an essay in math? That doesn't even make sense."
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"It does make sense if you're a public school teacher"
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"who's been disrespected for almost three decades."
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"Ben had missed this assignment"
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"because he had started listening to an audiobook of King Lear"
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"midway through yesterday's class."
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"-Pointless? Well, that is it."
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"You'll all be writing an essay explaining how you use calculus in real life."
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"I missed it. Can I get it to you tomorrow?"
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"Calculus not a priority for you, Ben?"
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"Maybe you want to spend your time on more practical subjects"
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"like personal finance or health?"
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"No, I just--"
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"Guess what, Ben? You get a zero on this assignment."
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"A zero? No, but if I get a zero on this essay,"
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"-that will bring my grade down to a-- -B."
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"Okay, so, Savannah, you're the one who said, quote,"
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""It's hella pointless to learn this wack-ass math I'll never use.""
Never Have I Ever
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