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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Goes to Court! (S01E01)

"Cyndee. Cyndee Pokorny!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What are you doing here, Kimmy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Trying to ruin my bachelorette party"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like you ruin everything?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, I know I messed up,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I can't undo what I did."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But we have to make sure the Reverend goes to jail."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And that means we have to get the evidence ourselves."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I have a plan."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Great, go do it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My friends and I"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"have a penis-shaped ice cream cake to get to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[gasps]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ice cream?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Do you know what part of the cow that comes from?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cyndee, I know you thought"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I was the strong one,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but I was only strong when I was with you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That time the Reverend tricked me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"it's because I was alone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need your help,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause what we have to do right now"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is gonna be really hard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What are you talking about?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're going back to the bunker."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bunker?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The bunker? Yay, wonderful."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, this is my bachelorette party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, and that's why we're going back to the bunker,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"where it's fun."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Please just trust me this one last time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Fine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But I'm bringing my cake with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Last one to the bunker is a mother of whores!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Randy, I need your help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ah, take my wallet!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll let you do stuff to me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, Kimmy, no way."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You've already got me in enough trouble already."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But if I can bust these guys,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"they'll have to let me back on the force."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's where Durnsville's only Italian family lives."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm gonna wait for them to do some organized crime,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"then I'm gonna shoot all of them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, I've got an easier way for you to be a hero."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Good, 'cause as you know,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I lost my gun in New York."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This one only shoots gum tape."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[gum gun whirring]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll keep a lookout up here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And you guys make it quick."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm already in enough hot water with the mayor"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"after I mistook his wife for a vending machine"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"back when I was doing heroin."
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"It's here."
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"It's all still here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, Kimmy, we're here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Gretchen, we're going to the pantry"
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"to get some beans for the party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Garbanzo."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Of course. It's a party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So why don't you stay here."
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"Oh, my goodness, no one's turned the mystery crank in months."
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"I have to purify myself before I touch it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, this isn't the way to the pantry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is the way to..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The Reverend's private tube."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But we aren't allowed in the RPT."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Exactly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why was that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What didn't he want us to see?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[cat yowls]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Holy smokes!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's the mayor's cat, Holy Smokes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He's gonna get ate by a coyote."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll be right back, Mole Ladies!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[door creaking]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, Titus, so Carol Doberman"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"will be interviewing you from the studio."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, good evening, Carol."
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"[laughs] Carol!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Carol, no!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, got it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Red leather yellow leather red yeller leather-leather..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So we're scheduled to go on in about three minutes,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so just sit tight, and I'll count you in when we're ready."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now, my name will be at the bottom of the screen, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Under that, would it be possible"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to put my phone number"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and bald by choice?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[phone buzzing]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Sorry. - Okay, thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna be famous ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna be on TV ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna be famous ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Soaring on the wings of my dreams ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The Pacers are in overtime,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so we're gonna hold off on Mitch Locher"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"over in the WTHR Sports Room"
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"and go to our continuing coverage"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"of the Durnsville Mole Women."
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"I'm joined now by a friend of one of the women,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus Andromedon."
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"Mr. Andromedon, can you hear me?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna be rich ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna buy a real belt ♪"
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"♪ And burn off my skin tags ♪"
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"We've having a little trouble with the audio."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Gonna be immortal ♪"
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"♪ Got a date with eternity ♪"
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"Got it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Once I am famous ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ I'll never be alone ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ I'll have so many friends ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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