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Clips from Archer - The Double Date (S11E11)

"I hate his stupid face!"
Archer
"And his stupid car!"
Archer
"And his stupid coma cane!"
Archer
"And his stupid... [machine buzzing]"
Archer
"Doesn't give me the respect I deserve!"
Archer
"How hard is it for you to acknowledge"
Archer
"the good shape I've gotten in? Ah!"
Archer
"How much I've improved as a field agent? Ah!"
Archer
"I learned Mandarin, for Christ's sake!"
Archer
"I hate you, Sterling Archer!"
Archer
"I hate you and everything you've done"
Archer
"to make me feel this‐‐agh!"
Archer
"‐ Cyril, I see the job you're doing."
Archer
"You've been knocking it out of the park as a field agent."
Archer
"- Really? - Really."
Archer
"When I thought Archer was dead,"
Archer
"I literally said, "Well, at least we still got Cyril.""
Archer
"‐ You did?"
Archer
"‐ Sure."
Archer
"I need the agency to stay afloat."
Archer
"I can't get another job."
Archer
"I have, like, a shit‐ton of felonies."
Archer
"‐ [chuckles, sniffles] Thanks, Pam."
Archer
"[machine buzzes] [yelps]"
Archer
"Gabrielle: Then why did you set this double date up, Archer?"
Archer
"‐ Seriously, out of all the women"
Archer
"you could've asked out..."
Archer
"‐ Of which there are literally billions."
Archer
"- Proving her point. - Damn it."
Archer
"‐ You chose one that kinda, well, is my doppelganger?"
Archer
"‐ Yeah, why is that, Archer?"
Archer
"‐ Um, if you two are through playing"
Archer
"amateur neuropsychobiologist,"
Archer
"our Russian is headed for the subway."
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"‐ Archer, I'll come at them from around the back."
Archer
"You approach them from the left flank."
Archer
"‐ I almost hate to do it."
Archer
"Those two look really happy together."
Archer
"‐ Yeah. It's nice to be in love with someone."
Archer
"You should try it."
Archer
"‐ Well, if it means being as happy"
Archer
"as that Russian hacker and his girlfriend, I actually‐‐"
Archer
"- all: Oh! - God damn it."
Archer
"‐ Oh‐ho‐ho‐no!"
Archer
"‐ Ew. Should we call the police?"
Archer
"both: Meh."
Archer
"‐ So, Gabrielle, this is usually the part of the date"
Archer
"when we head back to my place for great sex."
Archer
"‐ Archer, look, you seem like a really nice guy‐‐"
Archer
"- Ha! - Shut up, Lana."
Archer
"You were saying? Nice guy."
Archer
"Fully functioning sex organ. Go on."
Archer
"‐ But it's clear you still have feelings for Lana."
Archer
"‐ [laughs] Wait, me? For her?"
Archer
"Wh‐why would I want Lana when I could have you?"
Archer
"A totally different noncomparable unique person"
Archer
"who... shouldn't be exploited for personal vendettas, sorry."
Archer
"‐ Yeah, that part. It was nice to meet ya, Lana."
Archer
"Uh, maybe we could get together sometime."
Archer
"‐ You know what? I actually would not mind"
Archer
"hanging out with you again."
Archer
"Archer: Hey, wait, Gabrielle."
Archer
"But... sex time."
Archer
"Gabrielle!"
Archer
"‐ Aw, you liked her, didn't you?"
Archer
"‐ I don't know."
Archer
"‐ But you didn't realize it"
Archer
"till just now, huh?"
Archer
"‐ [grunts] Maybe."
Archer
"‐ I mean, I thought she was great."
Archer
"- Whatever. - I mean, smart, charming."
Archer
"And those cans, am I right?"
Archer
"‐ Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy."
Archer
"‐ Thinking maybe instead of asking her out"
Archer
"to make me jealous, you should've just"
Archer
"asked her out because she's awesome."
Archer
"[jazzy music]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"Honey, I'm home."
Archer
"man [over TV]: You know what I'd do if I were you?"
Archer
"‐ Wait, wait, wait, wait, this is my favorite part!"
Archer
"‐ Mine too!"
Archer
"all: Fill my boots with lead and jump in the ocean,"
Archer
"you pig‐nosed gypsy!"
Archer
"[laughter] [machine gun fire on TV]"
Archer
"‐ Oh, gosh, that's good."
Archer
"‐ [sighs] Fantastic."
Archer
"‐ Made in Georgia."
Archer