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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - NewZealandTown (S02E02)

"- So it goes g... - g, b..."
Flight of the Conchords
"guys, the audience is in, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- So you can go on. - How many?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Uh, one..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- yeah, one. - One?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah. - Is it Mel?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, it's not, Bret. Actually, Mel was busy."
Flight of the Conchords
"She actually requested that she can't come today."
Flight of the Conchords
"But unfortunately we're down to one today."
Flight of the Conchords
"- One person? - It's a big guy though, Jemaine."
Flight of the Conchords
"He's taking up three seats. He's got shopping bags with him."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, you can't count the shopping bags, can you? - There's three seats used."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, most of the audience are shopping bags."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah? - Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Just give this one big guy with the shopping bags the best gig of his life."
Flight of the Conchords
"Rock it out."
Flight of the Conchords
"One person."
Flight of the Conchords
"This is a new low."
Flight of the Conchords
"♪ voodoo lover! ♪"
Flight of the Conchords
"thank you. Thank you..."
Flight of the Conchords
"especially the one audience member for coming along today."
Flight of the Conchords
"When did that guy leave?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, he... he snuck out."
Flight of the Conchords
"So we played this whole gig to an empty room?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Technically yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, technically you were there."
Flight of the Conchords
"Technically I actually snuck out as well."
Flight of the Conchords
"- You snuck out? - What do you mean you snuck out?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I knew you were gonna get angry. Don't single me out."
Flight of the Conchords
"What about the other guy? He snuck out."
Flight of the Conchords
"- He's not our manager though. - I know."
Flight of the Conchords
"You've got to question yourselves. Why is the audience gone?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"Anyway, zero people."
Flight of the Conchords
"This is a new low."
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, it's time to get the high points"
Flight of the Conchords
"and low points graph out."
Flight of the Conchords
"And unfortunately, as of yesterday,"
Flight of the Conchords
"we've hit a new low point..."
Flight of the Conchords
"doing a gig to nobody."
Flight of the Conchords
"Pass it around."
Flight of the Conchords
"- That's the graph. - It's at zero."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, that's when I didn't have to pay the meter."
Flight of the Conchords
"Remember the meter was broken when I parked outside your apartment?"
Flight of the Conchords
"That's the high point of our career?"
Flight of the Conchords
"That is the high point of us as a band"
Flight of the Conchords
"I still think about it now."
Flight of the Conchords
"It was such a great night."
Flight of the Conchords
"But we're not concentrating on that now."
Flight of the Conchords
"Those times are gone. We're in the low now. We're in the lull."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, how come no one comes to our gigs?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I've tried to rack my brains to find that answe Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"I think we're gonna have to face facts."
Flight of the Conchords
"You guys just don't look cool."
Flight of the Conchords
"L- I do."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No you don't. - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Don't I? - You may look cool in your mind,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but when other people are looking at you"
Flight of the Conchords
"they don't see what's happening inside your head."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay? They can only see the outer shell."
Flight of the Conchords
"It doesn't matter anyway."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's about the music, not about the way you look."
Flight of the Conchords
"Maybe in the '70s, guys."
Flight of the Conchords
"But come on, get up with the '90s."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Times have changed. - It's not the '90s."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, my point is the difference between cool bands"
Flight of the Conchords
"and you is hair."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I've got hair. - True."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, some of it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Iook at this."
Flight of the Conchords
"Style. That's what we need."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I know what you're gonna say. - Uh..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Styling gel, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Have a look at these."
Flight of the Conchords
"What's this?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Just some experiments I ran"
Flight of the Conchords
"You should dress like this more often."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yup, this is the winning look."
Flight of the Conchords
"A moss-green shirt and a tie?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Obviously this is for work."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, this is it. This is the stuff."
Flight of the Conchords
"I really enjoyed it. The only problem is it's very powerful."
Flight of the Conchords
"Morning, prime minister."
Flight of the Conchords
"Guys, sit down, sit down."
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, have you got an eraser?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm doing a drawing but I've made a mistake."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm working on a poster idea for my new campaign."
Flight of the Conchords
"- That is a good poster, sir. - Not bad."
Flight of the Conchords
"How about you guys? Are you excited about new zealandtown?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- What's that? - Oh, I was gonna mention that."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, you know Chinatown and little Italy, right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah. - Well, we want to establish a new zealandtown"
Flight of the Conchords
"- right here in new York city. - Where's it gonna be?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, it's gonna be one block between Chinatown and little Italy,"
Flight of the Conchords
"which isn't exactly accurate geographically,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but it's perfect for our needs."
Flight of the Conchords
"We're gonna have Gary the sheep."
Flight of the Conchords
"- He's flying over from new zealand. - Really?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yes, new zealand's most famous sheep is gonna be there."
Flight of the Conchords
"- He's on hiatus. - We have a chap shearing him."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, pretending to shear him. - Be mime shearing him."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mime shearing him because Gary's got his look."
Flight of the Conchords
"We can't mess with that. And while I'm on that,"
Flight of the Conchords
"um, what we need is a cool band to play there."
Flight of the Conchords
"- so what I was gonna ask... - would you like us to play?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, no, we're looking for a cool band. - They are available."
Flight of the Conchords
"We're considered quite cool, aren't we?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- In their minds, yes. - I see."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah, you want a cooler band. - No, exactly."
Flight of the Conchords
"If you really want to help, we do need someone to work the information booth."
Flight of the Conchords
"- You guys keen? - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, greg, have you got an eraser?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Did you hear that, guys? The prime minister is looking for a cool band."
Flight of the Conchords
"Don't touch it."
Flight of the Conchords
"How's that?"
Flight of the Conchords
"That looks cool."
Flight of the Conchords
"You look like a punk rocker."
Flight of the Conchords
"Quite cool."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Very cool. - Very cool look, man."
Flight of the Conchords
"Totally cool."
Flight of the Conchords
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