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Clips from That '70s Show (1998) - Happy Jack (S06E06)

"- Well... - oh!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You're an animal!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I can't wait for these guys to see Kelso."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I think I might be giddy."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know. I feel like it's Christmas morning,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"except instead of toys, we get to humiliate a close friend."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hey, Pete. Hey, Doug."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Hiya, boys."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Hi, Mike! - Hi, Mike!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Cadet Mike,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I suppose you think this is funny."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You have made a mockery of the uniform, and I want an explanation right now."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Shut up!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Dismissed!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"What did you guys do to me?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Did you shave my head?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Is there something on my back?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You know what?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You guys are totally stuck in high school."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I'm trying to do something better. You guys resent it. You're trying to ruin it for me."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You know what? This stuff isn't even funny anymore."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh, that's a good burn!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"So that's when I was, like, "no, I don't want highlights.""
That '70s Show (1998)
"People pay money to get their hair my color,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"not the other way around."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Why are we feeding you again?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"'Cause I'm good company."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look who tore himself away from himself long enough to join us."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, usually he's too busy for lunch."
That '70s Show (1998)
"All right, both of you stop."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Honey, you washed your hands, right?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Look, dad, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"can I talk to you in private for a moment?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, I don't think so."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know the kind of things you do in private."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Dad... - oh, all right."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Just keep your hands where I can see 'em."
That '70s Show (1998)
"This really isn't getting old."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Ok"
That '70s Show (1998)
"so you know how I do things that are horrible,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and it seems like I can't make them any worse,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and then I do?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Sadly, yes."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I did it again."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Again?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"How many bathrooms does that house have? - No,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"not..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"not that."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Uh, Donna wanted to talk about the horrible thing."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Oh! They always want to talk about it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, well, we talked about it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And in the course of talking about it, information was revealed that made it much..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"much worse."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And that is why you never, ever talk about it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Have you ever noticed how often I just grunt at your mother?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I know how to talk. I'm not an ape."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Right."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I just choose not to."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Right."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Well, it's too latefor that now"
That '70s Show (1998)
"since you screwed up and talked about it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"There's only one thing to do."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Go on the offensive. Counter attack."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What? That's suicide, man."
That '70s Show (1998)
"They'll never expect it. It throws 'em off."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You know, one time in Korea, we had this little guy outnumbered 20 to 1."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But then he ran at us screaming his head off."
That '70s Show (1998)
"And we were so taken off guard, that we dove right into our foxholes."
That '70s Show (1998)
"- And he got away? - No, no."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, I mean we were startled for a few seconds, but then the whole company just opened up on him."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Listen up, Donna. I got something to say."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay, but be careful."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Jackie's mom was here earlier."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I don't want you to catch a whiff of her perfume and have to sexually assault yourself in the hallway."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, no, no, no. I talk. You listen."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Okay,this is all your fault."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, do you have any idea what your celibacy thing is doing to me?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"My needs have risen to near.."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Fezian levels."
That '70s Show (1998)
"He is a sick bastard, Donna,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and now, thanks to you, so am I!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, that's right, Donna! You created a monster. I can't leave myself alone!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"You know what? You're right."
That '70s Show (1998)
"I'm sorry."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You are?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I mean, um..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"yeah, damn right you are."
That '70s Show (1998)
"No, this has been really hard,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"and this celibacy thing was my idea, so"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I need to accept some responsibility for the odd and"
That '70s Show (1998)
"disgusting things you do."
That '70s Show (1998)
"That's right, you do."
That '70s Show (1998)
"But, you know, next time, be like a normal person."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Go to your room, lock the door,"
That '70s Show (1998)
"light some candles, put on some Al Green and make an evening of it."
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wow, Donna, that was really detailed."
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's almost like..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"oh, my god."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You do it, too!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"What ?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"no, no!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"I noticed the candles getting lower, even though I'd never seen them lit!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"All right, this conversation is over!"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Wow"
That '70s Show (1998)
"So this is where it all happens."
That '70s Show (1998)
"So they make an evening of it?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Yeah, candles, music."
That '70s Show (1998)
"God, girls do everything better."
That '70s Show (1998)
"You don't suppose Jackie..."
That '70s Show (1998)
"nah, she won't even go to a self-serve gas station."
That '70s Show (1998)
"What would happen if I walked in during one of their evenings?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"Are they like us where even though we're alone, we welcome a visitor?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"It's not like they'd rather do it themselves, when they could have a man do it, right?"
That '70s Show (1998)
"- Yeah. - Right."
That '70s Show (1998)