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Clips from Physical - Let's Get It on Tape (S01E01)

He's not even rich or tall.

"He's not even rich or tall."

Physical

He's the most brilliant man I've ever known.

"He's the most brilliant man I've ever known."

Physical

Yeah. I've never really liked smart dudes.

"Yeah. I've never really liked smart dudes."

Physical

Smart in the brains, dumb in the dick.

"Smart in the brains, dumb in the dick."

Physical

He has some dick smarts.

"He has some dick smarts."

Physical

Mostly, I love what he believes in.

"Mostly, I love what he believes in."

Physical

And I do love him, by the way. I don't pretend.

"And I do love him, by the way. I don't pretend."

Physical

Can we get back to rehearsing?

"Can we get back to rehearsing?"

Physical

We got a whole routine to finish.

"We got a whole routine to finish."

Physical

I figured if I asked you one question, you'd clam up.

"I figured if I asked you one question, you'd clam up."

Physical

I'm doing this video for Tyler.

"I'm doing this video for Tyler."

Physical

He's all psyched about making your husband's propaganda video...

"He's all psyched about making your husband's propaganda video..."

Physical

- Campaign ad. - Whatever.

"- Campaign ad. - Whatever."

Physical

And because I think there's a small chance it might not be a lame business idea.

"And because I think there's a small chance it might not be a lame business idea."

Physical

I'm not doing this to be your first gal pal,

"I'm not doing this to be your first gal pal,"

Physical

so you can relax.

"so you can relax."

Physical

Well, I have a lot of female friends, so.

"Well, I have a lot of female friends, so."

Physical

Found it. I fucking found it.

"Found it. I fucking found it."

Physical

Perfect location for our shoot.

"Perfect location for our shoot."

Physical

Sweet-ass natural light,

"Sweet-ass natural light,"

Physical

no mirrors to fuck up my visual jam, great price.

"no mirrors to fuck up my visual jam, great price."

Physical

Nothing. Because that's all you have to spend. Nothing.

"Nothing. Because that's all you have to spend. Nothing."

Physical

- How much? - 500 bucks.

"- How much? - 500 bucks."

Physical

For two days.

"For two days."

Physical

Buddy of mine is practically giving it away.

"Buddy of mine is practically giving it away."

Physical

Maybe if you open another credit card just for the month.

"Maybe if you open another credit card just for the month."

Physical

Then you pay off the minimum until some money's come...

"Then you pay off the minimum until some money's come..."

Physical

My God. You're such a good friend. Thank you for coming.

"My God. You're such a good friend. Thank you for coming."

Physical

Of course. Are you okay?

"Of course. Are you okay?"

Physical

No, I did something. It is bad.

"No, I did something. It is bad."

Physical

Promise not to think I'm a monster?

"Promise not to think I'm a monster?"

Physical

She thinks she's the monster?

"She thinks she's the monster?"

Physical

Don't be silly.

"Don't be silly."

Physical

They said it was all-natural

"They said it was all-natural"

Physical

and that my face was going to heal quickly.

"and that my face was going to heal quickly."

Physical

And I guess I just had a bad reaction to the acid.

"And I guess I just had a bad reaction to the acid."

Physical

You dipped your face in acid?

"You dipped your face in acid?"

Physical

Worse, I paid someone else to dip my face in acid.

"Worse, I paid someone else to dip my face in acid."

Physical

A Russian gal that some of the girls at the club use.

"A Russian gal that some of the girls at the club use."

Physical

Okay, so how bad is it?

"Okay, so how bad is it?"

Physical

- It's not that bad. - My God.

"- It's not that bad. - My God."

Physical

My face was my one good thing, and I went and ruined it.

"My face was my one good thing, and I went and ruined it."

Physical

That's not true. You're gorgeous.

"That's not true. You're gorgeous."

Physical

You have gorgeous hair, and you're a gorgeous person.

"You have gorgeous hair, and you're a gorgeous person."

Physical

Inside and out.

"Inside and out."

Physical

And your face will get better. I mean, isn't that the whole point?

"And your face will get better. I mean, isn't that the whole point?"

Physical

Once it heals, it's better than it was before?

"Once it heals, it's better than it was before?"

Physical

It's like muscles.

"It's like muscles."

Physical

You make them sore, and then they grow back.

"You make them sore, and then they grow back."

Physical

Stronger.

"Stronger."

Physical

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Physical

I got Ernie a new video camera.

"I got Ernie a new video camera."

Physical

Steady. Steady eyes. Steady mouth.

"Steady. Steady eyes. Steady mouth."

Physical

Yeah? Is he happy?

"Yeah? Is he happy?"

Physical

No, not really. He's still mad about the other one.

"No, not really. He's still mad about the other one."

Physical

And I can't understand how a video camera has sentimental value.

"And I can't understand how a video camera has sentimental value."

Physical

And now I got to host this party with this face. I just...

"And now I got to host this party with this face. I just..."

Physical

The only thing getting me through it right now

"The only thing getting me through it right now"

Physical

is knowing that you're gonna be there.

"is knowing that you're gonna be there."

Physical

And waffles. If I make waffles, will you have?

"And waffles. If I make waffles, will you have?"

Physical

You're not getting out of this one.

"You're not getting out of this one."

Physical

'Course.

"'Course."

Physical

So, one more time.

"So, one more time."

Physical

We can't mention Bunny or any of the aerobic stuff to my husband.

"We can't mention Bunny or any of the aerobic stuff to my husband."

Physical

Okay? That's my business.

"Okay? That's my business."

Physical

Our business. Not his.

"Our business. Not his."

Physical

So when we're here, we just stick to campaign video talk, okay?

"So when we're here, we just stick to campaign video talk, okay?"

Physical

Mint.

"Mint."

Physical

In the salsa.

"In the salsa."

Physical

I've had ten of these in the last week.

"I've had ten of these in the last week."

Physical

No. Fourteen.

"No. Fourteen."

Physical

Doing a full-on mouth autopsy on these bad boys

"Doing a full-on mouth autopsy on these bad boys"

Physical

to determine the salsa components.

"to determine the salsa components."

Physical

It's mint. Definitely.

"It's mint. Definitely."

Physical

Hey, Tyler.

"Hey, Tyler."

Physical

Did you hear anything I just said?

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

Physical

Won't say a word.

"Won't say a word."

Physical

Hence, enormous burrito to occupy mi boca.

"Hence, enormous burrito to occupy mi boca."

Physical

You're trusting this ding-dong with your marriage. Your life.

"You're trusting this ding-dong with your marriage. Your life."

Physical

Tyler has a small crew, lights, sound,

"Tyler has a small crew, lights, sound,"

Physical

and a very nimble and portable video camera.

"and a very nimble and portable video camera."

Physical

We get the locations for free.

"We get the locations for free."

Physical

You don't have to worry about money or anything to get the permits.

"You don't have to worry about money or anything to get the permits."

Physical

And you're sure the video format... It's okay for television?

"And you're sure the video format... It's okay for television?"

Physical

- Yeah, broadcast quality. - Excuse me?

"- Yeah, broadcast quality. - Excuse me?"

Physical

Broadcast quality.

"Broadcast quality."

Physical

Six-hour shoot, which we can bring in for our budget.

"Six-hour shoot, which we can bring in for our budget."

Physical

- How do you know that? - Research.

"- How do you know that? - Research."

Physical

Okay, all right. Wow.

"Okay, all right. Wow."

Physical

- Yeah. - Thank you, Jerry. That...

"- Yeah. - Thank you, Jerry. That..."

Physical

- That was really nice… - It is nice.

"- That was really nice… - It is nice."

Physical

- …but I think I'm good now. I'm good. - You feel good. Tight.

"- …but I think I'm good now. I'm good. - You feel good. Tight."

Physical

- Thank you, yeah. - Hey, Jer.

"- Thank you, yeah. - Hey, Jer."

Physical

She said stop.

"She said stop."

Physical

Sorry. I thought she was into it.

"Sorry. I thought she was into it."

Physical

No, no, I totally was.

"No, no, I totally was."

Physical

That was really great. Thank you so much.

"That was really great. Thank you so much."

Physical

Yeah, you girls are just working your butts off.

"Yeah, you girls are just working your butts off."

Physical

Just trying to help.

"Just trying to help."

Physical

And I would really love it if we could get the beach in this, like, as much as I can.

"And I would really love it if we could get the beach in this, like, as much as I can."

Physical

And one thing I was thinking about: Music.

"And one thing I was thinking about: Music."

Physical

Yes. Totally. Like drums.

"Yes. Totally. Like drums."

Physical

Yes. Exactly.

"Yes. Exactly."

Physical

Like, something with, like, a really groovy kick-ass drive to it.

"Like, something with, like, a really groovy kick-ass drive to it."

Physical

- Something progressive. - Yeah. Funky. Draws people in.

"- Something progressive. - Yeah. Funky. Draws people in."

Physical

Yeah. You know, something that says,

"Yeah. You know, something that says,"

Physical

"This isn't about a campaign. This is about a movement."

""This isn't about a campaign. This is about a movement.""

Physical

No, no, no. We need to distance you from the stoner counterculture,

"No, no, no. We need to distance you from the stoner counterculture,"

Physical

not play into it.

"not play into it."

Physical

It's time to sand off those Bohemian edges.

"It's time to sand off those Bohemian edges."

Physical

Show these San Diegans the polished-professional-you,

"Show these San Diegans the polished-professional-you,"

Physical

not the Berkeley-radical-you.

"not the Berkeley-radical-you."

Physical

So, what are we saying? Sell me out?

"So, what are we saying? Sell me out?"

Physical

No, sell you smart. Get you in a suit. Maybe a hard hat.

"No, sell you smart. Get you in a suit. Maybe a hard hat."

Physical

For a conservation platform?

"For a conservation platform?"

Physical

I am anti-coastal development, and you want me in a hard hat?

"I am anti-coastal development, and you want me in a hard hat?"

Physical

You're a progressive. You wanna invest in...

"You're a progressive. You wanna invest in..."

Physical

in social infrastructure, schools, health care.

"in social infrastructure, schools, health care."

Physical

People do love a dude in a hard hat.

"People do love a dude in a hard hat."

Physical

Don't know why.

"Don't know why."

Physical

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