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Clips from Cheers - Fortune and Men's Weight (S02E02)

"WELL, AS A COLLECTOR OF ANTIQUES I THINK THE SCALE MIGHT SOMEDAY BE WORTH WHAT YOU PAID FOR IT."
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"...OR A FRACTION THEREOF."
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"SAM, THAT SALESMAN ALSO SAID--"
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"HE SAID, "ZIS SCALE IS NOT BEING MADE ANYMORE,"
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"AND ZIS ONE WAS IN A ZELLER FOR OVER 40 YEARS.""
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"COACH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT IT."
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"WELL, THIS HAS BEEN FUN, BUT I GOT TO GET GOING ON MY BLIND DATE."
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"NORMIE. NORMIE. LISTEN."
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"GET ON THE SCALE. WEIGH YOURSELF. SEE HOW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE OUT TONIGHT."
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"OH, COME ON, IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FORTUNES LEFT"
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"AFTER ALL THESE YEARS."
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"[COIN JINGLES]"
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"[BELL RINGS]"
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"DO YOU EVER GET TIRED OF BEING WRONG?"
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"SAYS "YOUR MOST TROUBLESOME PROBLEM WILL SOON BE SOLVED.""
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"HEY, NORM. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA GET A TRIM ON THE OLD ANTLERS TONIGHT."
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"NORM, WHAT'S YOUR MOST TROULBESOME PROBLEM?"
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"WELL, THAT'S TOUGH TO SAY, COACH."
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"LET'S SEE. I'M OVERWEIGHT, UNEMPLOYED,"
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"SEPARATED, DEPRESSED, STARTING TO DRINK TOO MUCH."
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"I GUESS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER."
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"OK, I'M GOING NEXT."
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"NO WAY. MEN IN UNIFORM FIRST, CARLA."
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"GET OUTTA HERE."
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"SAM, SAM, SEE? THEY LOVE IT!"
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"I MEAN, THIS THING'S GONNA BE BIGGER THAN"
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"THAT AMUSEMENT PARK IN CALIFORNIA."
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"UH, THE ONE WITH THE MOUSE AND THE DUCK..."
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"DISNEYLAND."
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"YOU'RE TOUGH, SAM, BUT I'M GONNA GET YOU."
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"[BELL RINGS]"
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""SANDERSON FLORISTS.""
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"WHAT'S THE OCCASION THERE, SAM?"
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"IT'S FOR DIANE."
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"DID SHE DIE?"
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"OF COURSE NOT."
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"IS SHE DYING?"
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"IS SHE SUFFERING IN ANY WAY?"
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"THROW ME A BONE."
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"NO. SHE'S JUST GOING TO BE MAD"
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"BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE HER TO SOME STUPID ART SHOW LAST NIGHT."
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"FLOWERS IS THE ONLY WAY TO CALM HER DOWN."
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"HI, SANDERSON FLORIST?"
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"AH, THERE'S MY GUY."
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"GIVE ME A BIG SMOOCHAROO."
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"YOU'RE NOT MAD ABOUT LAST NIGHT?"
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"OH, OF COURSE NOT. I JUST MISSED YOU SO, YOU BIG LUG."
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"KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK."
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"AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."
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"HEY NORM! NORM! NORM!"
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"WHAT'S UP, NORMIE?"
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"THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH, COACH."
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"OH! SOUNDS LIKE THAT BLIND DATE PAID OFF, HUH?"
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"YEAH, WELL, TURNS OUT MY BUDDY PLAYED A LITTLE TRICK ON ME."
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"GUESS WHO THE DATE TURNS OUT TO BE?"
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"MY EX, VERA."
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"WHOA!"
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"ARE YOU READY FOR THE PUNCH LINE?"
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"WE'RE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN."
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"OH, NORMAN, THAT'S WONDERFUL."
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"I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT IT,"
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"I'D LIKE TO SET UP THE ENTIRE BAR."
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"BUT, SINCE THAT'S FINANCIALLY IMPOSSIBLE,"
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"I'LL JUST SETTLE FOR BUYING MY BUDDY CLIFF HERE, A DRINK."
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"OOHH! OOHH! OOHH!"
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"OH, THANK YOU, NORM."
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"CHIVAS ON THE ROCKS, COACH."
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"MMM--MMM--MMM."
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"WHAT, 12-YEAR-OLD SCOTCH?"
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"I WAS THINKIN' MORE A LIKE A BEER, YOU KNOW."
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"OH, COME ON, NORM, THIS IS GREAT NEWS."
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"YOU GOT VERA BACK."
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"YEAH, VERA, NOT NASTASIA KINSKY."
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"VERA."
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"UH, BEER, COACH."
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"NORMIE, NORMIE. TELL ME, WHAT'S IT LIKE TO GO OUT ON A BLIND"
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"DATE, AND THEN YOU FIND OUT IT'S YOUR OWN WIFE?"
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"WE WERE BOTH KIND OF NERVOUS AT FIRST."
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"THEN WE SPLIT SOME CLAMS CASINO,"
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"A LITTLE CHATEAUBRIAND--"
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"A BOTTLE OF HER FAVORITE WINE...NEXT THING YOU KNOW"
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"WE WENT BACK TO WHAT USED TO BE OUR PLACE,"
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"AND, UH, WE KIND OF MADE LOVE."
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"WAIT. WAIT. YOU CAN'T KIND OF MAKE LOVE, NORM."
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"YOU DON'T KNOW VERA."
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"OH, MY GOD!"
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"WHAT? WHAT?"
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"IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENING!"
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"SAM, SHE'S LOSING WHAT'S LEFT OF HER GRAY MATTER."
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"AND I DON'T MEAN YOUR UNDERWEAR, CARLA."
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"COME HERE. COME HERE. COME ON. WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG?"
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"IT'S HIS FORTUNE."
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"THE MACHINE SAID THAT NORM'S WORST PROBLEM WAS GONNA BE SOLVED."
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"AND HE'S BACK WITH VERA!"
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"CARLA, THAT WAS ENTIRELY FORTUITOUS."
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"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, DIANE."
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"MY LITTLE CARD SAID THAT I'D BE HEARING FROM A DISTANT LOVED"
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"ONE. SURE ENOUGH, NOT A HALF HOUR LATER,"
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"MY DAUGHTER IN PENNSYLVANIA CALLS ME."
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"OOOHHHH!"
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"AH, NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH."
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"THAT DOESN'T COUNT, COACH."
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"SHE ALWAYS CALLS YOU."
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"YEAH, PENNSYLVANIA'S NOT THAT DISTANT THERE, COACH."
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"NO. NO. NO, CLIFFIE. SHE CALLED ME FROM CALIFORNIA."
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"SHE'S ON VACATION THERE."
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"OOOHHHH!"
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"IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR FORTUNE, COACH."
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"AND NEITHER DID WHAT HAPPENED TO NORMAN."
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"OH, YEAH?"
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"WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT THIS?"
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"MY FORTUNE SAID "TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE.""
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"SO LAST NIGHT, I GET HOME LATE,"
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"AND MY KIDS HAD STARTED A GREASE FIRE COOKING THEIR OWN DINNER."
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"NOW, EXPLAIN THAT."
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"EASY."
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"YOU'RE AN IDIOT."
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"Carla: LOOK!"
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"THERE ARE THINGS"
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"THAT YOU EGGHEADS CAN'T EXPLAIN AWAY IN THIS WORLD."
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