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Clips from Nine Months

"(groans) I'm such a..."
Nine Months
"I'm such a coward. Sorry."
Nine Months
"It's nothing to do with you."
Nine Months
"(moans)"
Nine Months
"Oh, baby, you were incredible."
Nine Months
"Not bad, eh?"
Nine Months
"That was the single most satisfying sexual experience of my life."
Nine Months
"Well, I aim to please."
Nine Months
"(chuckles)"
Nine Months
"And now..."
Nine Months
"now it's time for dinner."
Nine Months
"Dinner?"
Nine Months
"(screaming)"
Nine Months
"No!"
Nine Months
"- Samuel! - (gasps)"
Nine Months
"Time to get up."
Nine Months
"Today's our first doctor's appointment."
Nine Months
"- Today? - Yeah."
Nine Months
"I told you about it two weeks ago. And then last week."
Nine Months
"Three days ago. And twice, I think, yesterday."
Nine Months
"Sorry, honey. I completely forgot."
Nine Months
"Yeah."
Nine Months
"Figures."
Nine Months
"I swear I won't forget the next time."
Nine Months
"- Hi. - Hi."
Nine Months
"I'm Rebecca Taylor. I'm here to see Dr. Green."
Nine Months
"Oh, Dr. Green's been out with pneumonia."
Nine Months
"You can see his associate, Dr. Kosevich."
Nine Months
"- Or you can reschedule. - Yes. Just reschedule."
Nine Months
"No. We can see Dr. Kosevich."
Nine Months
"Are you sure?"
Nine Months
"- Why, is there a problem? - No, no. Oh, no, no."
Nine Months
"It's just that Dr. Kosevich is new. From Russia."
Nine Months
"He's a little nervous."
Nine Months
"Oh, but very sweet."
Nine Months
"Well, we're already here. We may as well see Dr. Kosevich."
Nine Months
"- Okay? - Okay."
Nine Months
"Okay."
Nine Months
"(doctor speaking Russian)"
Nine Months
"Thank you."
Nine Months
"Please, come sit down. One moment."
Nine Months
"Little family business."
Nine Months
"It's not one thing, it's your mother."
Nine Months
"Please. Please, sit down. I'm very sorry."
Nine Months
"- Hello. - Hello."
Nine Months
"So we hear you're from Russia."
Nine Months
"- You have a problem with that? - No, no."
Nine Months
"I am not a communist. Well, I was briefly member of party,"
Nine Months
"but it was not a party for me."
Nine Months
"It was only for medical reasons."
Nine Months
"I was a scientist. In Russia I was chief of obstruction."
Nine Months
"- Obstruction? - Abstraction?"
Nine Months
"- Abstraction? - Obstetrics, I think you mean."
Nine Months
"That's it. Obstetrics."
Nine Months
"Hold on a moment here. Not obstruction. It's obstetrics."
Nine Months
"Yes, I was head of obstetrics research"
Nine Months
"at Pasklovansky Hospital in Leningrad, now St. Petersburg."
Nine Months
"Oh, yes. What brings you here, then?"
Nine Months
"Well, I never get a chance to work with people in Russia."
Nine Months
"Oh, more of the sort of technical side."
Nine Months
"No, animals."
Nine Months
"- Animals? - Only rats and monkeys."
Nine Months
"- Rats? - I like a little change of scenery."
Nine Months
"After 10 years, you've seen one rat ass, you've seen them all."
Nine Months
"I also want a patient who won't bite me."
Nine Months
"And last month, I received my new license,"
Nine Months
"and now I'm able to deliver human babies."
Nine Months
"Okay, now,"
Nine Months
"I have a computer program here that I have written myself"
Nine Months
"that will calculate your due date very accurately, okay?"
Nine Months
"Fine."
Nine Months
"When was the first day of your last menopause?"
Nine Months
"- Menopause? - Menstruation."
Nine Months
"- Menstruation. - Period."
Nine Months
"End of sentence."
Nine Months
"- March 11. - March 11. March 11."
Nine Months
"Three-one-one. Okay."
Nine Months
"Here it comes."
Nine Months
"The baby will be due December 8."
Nine Months
"- Okay. - Congratulations."
Nine Months
"And the baby was conceived March 17."
Nine Months
"Oh, that's clever."
Nine Months
"Most people know that,"
Nine Months
"but some people are too drunk, they don't remember."
Nine Months
"- Oh, my God. - What is wrong?"
Nine Months
"- I'm not the father. - What?"
Nine Months
"- Samuel? - Oh, my God."
Nine Months
"On March 17,"
Nine Months
"I was away at a child-psychiatry conference in Boston, remember?"
Nine Months
"- Samuel, what are you saying? - Maybe I should leave you two alone."
Nine Months
"- That's fine. I'm going. - No, wait!"
Nine Months
"Come back. Sit down! Samuel, sit down!"
Nine Months
"Now check your computer again."
Nine Months
"- The computer is very accurate. - No, now."
Nine Months
"Check the goddamn computer."
Nine Months
"- Check it! - Check it!"
Nine Months
"Don't yell at me! Please don't do this to me."
Nine Months
"I spent a year in Afghanistan."
Nine Months
"I have sometimes very low tolerance for pressure."
Nine Months
"- Well, come on! - One moment. I will check it."
Nine Months
"What is wrong with the thing?"
Nine Months
"Fuck me! It's not working."
Nine Months
"Hold on. Okay. What is wrong?"
Nine Months
"Oh, okay. Okay. Excuse me."
Nine Months
"This is the problem. It is feces flying into the fan."
Nine Months
"Here's the problem. There are function keys."
Nine Months
"One is for humans and one is for simians."
Nine Months
"- You're not a simian. - No, I'm not."
Nine Months
"- I had you as a baboon. Okay. - Sorry."
Nine Months
"- I didn't... - Hold on, I have figured it out."
Nine Months
"There you go. Were you here March 23?"
Nine Months
"- Yeah. - With her?"
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"- Both: Yes. - Okay."
Nine Months
"Everything is fine now. We're all back online."
Nine Months
"And your baby... your baby"
Nine Months
"will be born on December 15."
Nine Months
"Okay, now it is time for the physical examination."
Nine Months
"Let's go take a look at your Volvo, okay?"
Nine Months
"Come with me into here. I warm my hands up for you."
Nine Months
"Please, come in."
Nine Months
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