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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Rutgers is for Lovers (S01E01)

"I caught four spiders and let three of them live."
Human Resources (2022)
"Also, I got detention"
Human Resources (2022)
"for putting a big bag of grapes on the principal's car."
Human Resources (2022)
"Stop wasting grapes."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Ugh! -Nadja, what about you?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing, uh, over here. So I'll just pass it over to Mom."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Aren't you gonna tell them? -Tell us what?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Nadja got into Berkeley! -Holy shit."
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"-Yes! -Yeah…"
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"Berkeley, here we come! Here we come! Here we come! Ayo!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh my God, were you just wearing that under your clothes?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Two months straight just in case,"
Human Resources (2022)
"because I knew my girl was getting into Berkeley."
Human Resources (2022)
"[laughs] I bet that shirt stinks."
Human Resources (2022)
"This is amazing news."
Human Resources (2022)
"Now you don't have to go to stupid Rutgers. Yuck."
Human Resources (2022)
""Stupid Rutgers"?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Wait, I thought you liked Rutgers? -[chuckles]"
Human Resources (2022)
"That's when we thought that was the best you could do."
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"Now we don't have to pretend to be happy."
Human Resources (2022)
"-I haven't decided yet where I'm gonna go. -That's right!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Excuse you? -Y'all heard her."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, wait. Wait a minute, Nadja."
Human Resources (2022)
"Are you seriously considering saying no to our dream school?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Listen to your dad, Nadja."
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"He's fuckin' smart. You know why? He went to Berkeley!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, Rutgers has a really good engineering program."
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"And don't forget Danielle!"
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"-Is this because of Danielle? -Yes!"
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"What? No. Maybe. Kinda. I don't know."
Human Resources (2022)
"She loves her."
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"You're not giving up a dream because of a silly high school crush."
Human Resources (2022)
"High school crush?"
Human Resources (2022)
"What? You and Dad got together in high school."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, but it wasn't serious, we were just hooking up."
Human Resources (2022)
"It was purely physical."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Eww. I'm eating. -Oh my God, stop."
Human Resources (2022)
"Nadja, habibi, I know it's hard. But this is your future."
Human Resources (2022)
"You can't make these choices based on anyone else,"
Human Resources (2022)
"-no matter how great they are. -[sighs]"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Baba… [sighs] -[tense music plays]"
Human Resources (2022)
"I guess Danielle and I could do long-distance or something."
Human Resources (2022)
"-No! -Yes!"
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"-That's my girl. -She's my girl, too."
Human Resources (2022)
"We are so proud of you, Nadja."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm gonna go to my room."
Human Resources (2022)
"[Rochelle grunts, pants]"
Human Resources (2022)
"You're stuck in the wall, aren't you?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Shut it, you scaly little creep. -[laughs]"
Human Resources (2022)
"All right. Should I get another shrimp cocktail or…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Ooh! Clams casino. Oh, ho, ho! That sounds good."
Human Resources (2022)
"The, uh… [chuckles]"
Human Resources (2022)
"The Chugger sure is taking his time, huh?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Ooh-- What? [chuckles nervously] What do you mean?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Don't worry. Emmy told me all about it. -She did?"
Human Resources (2022)
"She did. And I think it's hilarious."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh. Okay, so you know you're the Chugger? And you're okay with it?"
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"[dramatic music plays]"
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"-[music builds] -[sound echoes]"
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"Uh… Of course I know… [chuckling]"
Human Resources (2022)
"…that I'm the Chugger."
Human Resources (2022)
"We are a-- a part of a community of people who have access to the same information."
Human Resources (2022)
"[chuckles] Which is, uh, why I'm going to run away."
Human Resources (2022)
"You know what? Screw it. I'm getting both. I got plenty of time for diarrhea today."
Human Resources (2022)
"-I'm the Chugger? -Hey! No, you're not. Who told you?"
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"Why? Why am I The Chugger?"
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"-[sighs] It all started 50 years ago. -[disco music plays]"
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"Rochelle and I were bored,"
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"so we went to the kitchen to steal 30 bags of chips for later."
Human Resources (2022)
"And then you walked in and our lives changed forever."
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"[loud gulping]"
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"You drank a cup of water"
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"-and it was really loud. -[both giggle]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Wait. That's it? I drank water?"
Human Resources (2022)
"[laughs] Yes, like really loud, though."
Human Resources (2022)
"And it was funny because it was a really big cup."
Human Resources (2022)
"So you've been laughing about me behind my back for 50 years?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, you weren't supposed to know about it."
Human Resources (2022)
"And this would have never happened"
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"if you didn't try to do your dork shit on my computer."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, sorry if I'm not cool and fun like you and Rochelle,"
Human Resources (2022)
"with your hilarious inside jokes about me."
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"Well, I honestly assumed you hated me because I'm bad at my job"
Human Resources (2022)
"and I ignore all your emails on purpose because they stress me out."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, I don't hate you."
Human Resources (2022)
"-I thought you were neat. -Oh."
Human Resources (2022)
"But I guess you know what to do with this friendship, the fourth D."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, um, of course. The fourth D."
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, and the D stands for…"
Human Resources (2022)
"Delete! You didn't even listen to my cool wizard presentation."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, fuck."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[whimsical music plays] -[knocking] Petra. It's me, Gavin."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh! Hello, Gavin. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I wanna go eat spaghetti at an Italian restaurant tonight."
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"You're coming with me, gremlin."
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"-Oh! So, it's a date? -Yeah, fine. Whatever you wanna call it."
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"I'll pick you up in my big, stinky car at 8:30."
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"-Wear something loose. -Yes!"
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"Hey. You ready to go watch 100 teens grind for five hours straight?"
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"-What're you talkin' about? -Uh… Prom night? Remember? Nadja?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, shit. Gavin just asked me out to watch him eat spaghetti."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hm. Well, too bad we're not friends anymore or I'd offer to cover for you."
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"[sighs] Okay, here we go."
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"I'm sorry I gloated about being better than you."
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"Will you please cover for me so I can get hardcore humped by Gavin?"
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"-Wow. -There."
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"How can I say no to a beautiful apology like that?"
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"-So you'll do it? -Fine. But I'm not doing this for you."
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"I'm doing this for your snatch."
Human Resources (2022)
"[laughs] All right! Excuse me as I get my hoo-hoo ready."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey! Wake the fuck up! It's go time."
Human Resources (2022)
"[tense Western music plays]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[moody whistling]"
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"Well, well, well. Bingo, bango, Dodge Durango."
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"[Southern accent] Pardon me, little lady,"
Human Resources (2022)
"is this seat next to your fat, fucking gorgeous,"
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"ferkin', fuckin' perfect, fuckin' round fuckin' ass taken?"
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"-Please, good sir, take a seat. -[harp music plays]"
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"I've been waiting all night for a gentleman"
Human Resources (2022)
"with a heavy dick to come round."
Human Resources (2022)
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