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Clips from Arrested Development - Not Without My Daughter (S01E01)

"You make him wish that he'd never shown that ludicrous head of hair..."
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"and that nice face of his."
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"- I will do it, Dad. - Good. Put her there."
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"- No touching! - Oh!"
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"- No touching! - Oh!"
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"Her self-esteem is through the roof."
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"And Michael arrived at the police station with Maeby."
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"I got here as quickly as I could."
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"- I didn't know you had a daughter? - I don't."
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"I thought you wanted me to call you Daddy?"
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"Why don't you wait for Daddy in the car?"
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"- All right. What do we have here? - Gob sunk the yacht."
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"The last time Kitty was seen, she was getting onto it. It's on tape."
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"- Ooh! Did you see this? - Yep."
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"Ooh! Chills. Why do I keep getting these bruises?"
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"- Barry! - Okay. Until we get all the facts..."
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"don't say anything that can incriminate you."
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"Or me. Just try to keep me out of this."
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"- Lie. Both of you. - No, what are you talk... We don't lie in this family."
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"- Maeby, why don't you get a soda? - Okay."
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"If I lie in front of her, it costs me 50 bucks. I do think that we should lie."
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"Meanwhile, Lindsay was at work..."
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"and starting to getjealous that her daughter was at work with Michael."
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"Hello, Michael. I know you think I'm such a horrible mother..."
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"but I was just seeing how my daughter was doing at work."
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"Uh, she's, um, she's making lots of friends already."
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"- Can you help me there, please? - It was at this moment..."
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"that Gob and George Michael arrived at the store."
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"Say what you will about America... 13 bucks stills gets you a hell of a lot of mice."
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"Who said anything bad about America?"
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"No. Well, I meant... So what are the mice for?"
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"Oh. No, that's just for misdirection."
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"We'll see who the sleight-of-hand artist is in this family."
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"Okay, now when I yell Mice! I want you to open this box..."
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"- and I'm gonna start stuffing some shirts down your pants. - Shirts?"
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"- Gob, are we shoplifting? - Mice!"
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"Mice! Call security!"
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"- Michael, I'm not as bad an influence as you think I am. - Well, you're not a great one."
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"You're a criminal, Lindsay. What kind of message does that send?"
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"Bluth. We're ready to question you now."
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"That's what I am, Michael. I'm a shoplifter!"
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"I've got a whole bag of clothes I shoplifted."
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"But Tobias was now a guard."
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"And a surprisingly catlike one."
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"- Wow. I guess we didn't need the mice. - Freeze..."
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"While the rest of the Bluths were in police custody..."
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"Lucille was with her brother-in-law."
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"I am blown away that you... that you called me and that we're-we're together."
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"And my camper made it all the way up here."
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"Do you think it's safe over there? Because I only have a hanger for a lock."
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"What are they gonna take, the one can of Comet you've got in there?"
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"Oh, your tongue is as sharp as your body is still taut."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Oscar, this is a children's soccer game, not Woodstock."
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"That was another era, huh? The music and the pot."
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"Will you excuse me? I need to go to my camper for just a quick sec."
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"Open."
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"- Hey, Uncle. - Hey, Buster."
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"No, no, no."
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"- No, no, no. - No, no, no."
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"No! No! No! I came here to say something."
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"You do not belong here. My mother's been spoken for."
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"You know, I may never have played organized sports, but I am a man."
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"- Buster. - And I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
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"Okay. But, uh, I never meant to break up your family."
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"Your mom called me for a reason. And I don't think she's happy."
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"No, she's happy. She's just mean all the time."
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"Uh, no, no, no, Uncle, let me get you. I'm a man. Move."
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"Michael submitted to the detective's questions."
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"You haven't seen any evidence of Ms. Sanchez or where she might have gone?"
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"I have, uh, no idea. None."
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"Are you willing to take a polygraph to that effect?"
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"- Are you nuts? - Not without a better lawyer."
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"You're holding out on us!"
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"Fantastic. Now Emma's awake."
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"- You know what? Let me take care of this. - Please."
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"Kitty had evidence against your father, and you didn't want that to come out."
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"But now you've got bigger problems, my friend. So why don't we make a deal?"
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"I give you evidence against my father, and you pretend that I didn't kill Kitty?"
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"I mean, l-I didn't kill Kitty."
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"Hello. Oh, hey, George Michael."
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"Uh, I'm sorry. In your pants?"
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"I'll be right there. Um, my son has an emergency."
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"You know, there's a Grover book... I Can't Hold It In."
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"Worked for us."
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"Buster emerged from Oscar's trailer with a newfound sense of manliness..."
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"and then received a serendipitous gift."
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"Kick it back!"
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"- If you can kick, fatty. - I'm a man."
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"What are you doing? Get off the field!"
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"Are you crazy?"
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"And Buster realized he may havejust scared away a man..."
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"who supported him in the way he'd always hoped his own father would."
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"And Michael headed over to the mall."
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"- So what the hell is this? - Hey, Dad, I didn't know we were shoplifting, okay?"
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"Shoplifting? What's the matter with you, Gob?"
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"What's the matter with me? She's the shoplifter!"
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"- I wasn't shoplifting, you twit. - Yes, thanks to me."
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"No. I work here."
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"At least I used to. They fired me because they thought I was helping this idiot shoplift."
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"Also, they said I wasn't a very good salesgirl."
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"You can't be serious?"
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"A salesgirl."
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"I knew it! I knew you couldn't pull it off."
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"There's only one magician in this family and that is me."
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"And you got caught by a 13-year-old girl."
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"You know, this is why I'm constantly asking you to stay away from my son."
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"Yeah, well, it's not like you were there to spend any time with me, Dad."
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"Because I'm not daughter enough for you."
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"George Michael, um, I'm always there for you, okay?"
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"It's just you're getting a little too manly for Bring Your Daughter to Work Day."
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"- Dad, that's what makes it funny. - I also wanted to give Maeby a good role model for a change."
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"Yeah, well, I guess, you looking out for her is probably something she could use."
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"Where is Maeby?"
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"Michael realized he had to get to the police station..."
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"before they got ahold of Maeby, to whom he'd promised $50 to tell the truth."
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"I've put a bounty on my own head."
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"But Maeby's instincts to lie returned."
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"Hey, you can't go in there."
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"No, it's okay. I'm Detective Fellows's daughter."
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