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Clips from MacGruber - Havencroft (S01E01)

"- Cheers."
MacGruber
"- Hey, remember earlier?"
MacGruber
"When I said that thing about your face burns?"
MacGruber
"I lied. Totally noticeable."
MacGruber
"[balloon pops]"
MacGruber
"Where's her gun?"
MacGruber
"- How long have you been planning all this?"
MacGruber
"- Decades."
MacGruber
"Every beautiful detail laid out like the gears on a clock."
MacGruber
"Tick-tock, tick-tock, but it'll all be worth it"
MacGruber
"when we bring in the New Year with a big fucking bang."
MacGruber
"- So you're gonna kill millions of people--"
MacGruber
"- Billions."
MacGruber
"- Billions, and you're okay with that?"
MacGruber
"- It's an important cause."
MacGruber
"- So important that you're willing"
MacGruber
"to sacrifice your own son."
MacGruber
"- I was willing to sacrifice your mother, wasn't I?"
MacGruber
"- What?"
MacGruber
"- Unfortunately, your mother found out about my little plan,"
MacGruber
"and she just would not shut up about it."
MacGruber
"So she had to be dealt with accordingly."
MacGruber
"- You killed Mom?"
MacGruber
"- Oh, yeah, and you watched me do it."
MacGruber
"But you were so young at the time"
MacGruber
"that somehow, I was able to convince you"
MacGruber
"that you didn't see what you saw."
MacGruber
"I told you it was Queeth, and your little brain"
MacGruber
"ate that shit up like a fucking pot roast."
MacGruber
"[smacks lips]"
MacGruber
"You were such a dumb little kid and so annoying."
MacGruber
"Heck, in a way, you inspired this whole thing."
MacGruber
"The minute you were born"
MacGruber
"just kind of put me into a funk."
MacGruber
"Well, you've got a lot of think about."
MacGruber
"And I do have a button to press."
MacGruber
"So I guess I'll be on my way."
MacGruber
"- Like hell you will! Ahh!"
MacGruber
"[screaming]"
MacGruber
"Where'd you go, you coward!"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- It's a lot like baseball, if you think about it."
MacGruber
"[yells]"
MacGruber
"[laughs]"
MacGruber
"Strike one."
MacGruber
"[yells]"
MacGruber
"Strike two."
MacGruber
"[yells]"
MacGruber
"- Ahh, motherfucker!"
MacGruber
"- Base hit! Yeah! The crowd goes wild."
MacGruber
"[imitates crowd yelling]"
MacGruber
"Whoo! [yells]"
MacGruber
"[soft music box playing]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- What's that song?"
MacGruber
"- It's whatever you want it to be."
MacGruber
"* MacGruber *"
MacGruber
"* He's such a little lovey and I'm proud to be his mommy *"
MacGruber
"* MacGruber, he is the best son ever *"
MacGruber
"* And I love him to pieces *"
MacGruber
"* MacGruber, I'll never ever leave him *"
MacGruber
"* MacGruber *"
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Daddy?"
MacGruber
"- Never cared much for that song."
MacGruber
"Welcome to the nerve center, MacGruber."
MacGruber
"- Love what you've done with the place."
MacGruber
"Although, I think I might change the wall color."
MacGruber
"Maybe put some big splotches of red"
MacGruber
"right behind where your brain is."
MacGruber
"- [chuckles]"
MacGruber
"Can you believe this little panel here"
MacGruber
"can cause so much destruction?"
MacGruber
"Just one little press of this button, and poof."
MacGruber
"Billions dead."
MacGruber
"- You can save your breath, Dad."
MacGruber
"'Cause I will never ever join your little evil plan."
MacGruber
"- No one's asking you to, you fucking dode."
MacGruber
"- How dare you!"
MacGruber
"- What do you say we get this party started?"
MacGruber
"- Countdown activated."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Just so you know, I can throw my voice."
MacGruber
"So if you think you have my location locked down,"
MacGruber
"you're probably wrong,"
MacGruber
"'cause you probably think I'm standing right here..."
MacGruber
"[in silly voice] But maybe I'm standing over here."
MacGruber
"[in gruff voice] Or maybe over here."
MacGruber
"[in high-pitched voice] I could be standing over here."
MacGruber
"[balloon pops]"
MacGruber
"[empty chamber clicking]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Okay, now I'm pissed."
MacGruber
"Fucked up my leg and my new cargos."
MacGruber
"- Call it even?"
MacGruber
"- You wish."
MacGruber
"You see, Lon was like a brother to me."
MacGruber
"You killed my fucking family."
MacGruber
"After I kill you, I'm gonna kill your fucking family."
MacGruber
"Then we're even."
MacGruber
"You just had a little baby, right?"
MacGruber
"- [groans]"
MacGruber
"- You don't have to do this."
MacGruber
"- Oh, but I do."
MacGruber
"- You know that means I have to kill you."
MacGruber
"- Now, now."
MacGruber
"You know what happens"
MacGruber
"when little boys are rude to their daddies."
MacGruber
"- What's that?"
MacGruber
"[groans]"
MacGruber
"- They get a time-out."
MacGruber
"- Fuck you, Dad! Ah!"
MacGruber
"- Watch your language."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Oh, Vicki. I think I found you."
MacGruber
"- [in silly voice] Uh, no you didn't."
MacGruber
"- No, I think I did."
MacGruber
"Goodbye, Vicki."
MacGruber
"- Ow! Ow! Ow!"
MacGruber
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