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Clips from I Dream of Jeannie - Russian Roulette (S01E01)

Oh, boy.

"Oh, boy."

I Dream of Jeannie

Uh, Jeannie.

"Uh, Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

Jeannie, bedtime. Bottle time.

"Jeannie, bedtime. Bottle time."

I Dream of Jeannie

You're going to bed so early, master?

"You're going to bed so early, master?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, yes. Yeah, l got a rough day tomorrow.

"Oh, yes. Yeah, l got a rough day tomorrow."

I Dream of Jeannie

Those Russian cosmonauts are coming in.

"Those Russian cosmonauts are coming in."

I Dream of Jeannie

Have a good sleep, master.

"Have a good sleep, master."

I Dream of Jeannie

l am going out.

"l am going out."

I Dream of Jeannie

-You're going out? Where? -l have a date.

"-You're going out? Where? -l have a date."

I Dream of Jeannie

Captain Healey is going to pick me up in front of the public library.

"Captain Healey is going to pick me up in front of the public library."

I Dream of Jeannie

Now, wait a minute. We've been all through this before.

"Now, wait a minute. We've been all through this before."

I Dream of Jeannie

You can't go out with Captain Healey.

"You can't go out with Captain Healey."

I Dream of Jeannie

He's turned in his wolf suit. He wants to marry you.

"He's turned in his wolf suit. He wants to marry you."

I Dream of Jeannie

-l know. -Yeah, well, he can't.

"-l know. -Yeah, well, he can't."

I Dream of Jeannie

Why not? l am single.

"Why not? l am single."

I Dream of Jeannie

Yeah, well, you've been single for 2000 years.

"Yeah, well, you've been single for 2000 years."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, that is just it.

"Well, that is just it."

I Dream of Jeannie

-l do not wish to be an old maid. -All right, look, Jeannie.

"-l do not wish to be an old maid. -All right, look, Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

l can't let you do this to my best friend.

"l can't let you do this to my best friend."

I Dream of Jeannie

He's only read Omar Khayyam.

"He's only read Omar Khayyam."

I Dream of Jeannie

You used to sit in his tent and drink wine with him.

"You used to sit in his tent and drink wine with him."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, l would not be going out with your best friend...

"Well, l would not be going out with your best friend..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...if l was married to his best friend.

"...if l was married to his best friend."

I Dream of Jeannie

Yes. Jeannie, we've been through that too.

"Yes. Jeannie, we've been through that too."

I Dream of Jeannie

There would be many advantages to being married to me, master.

"There would be many advantages to being married to me, master."

I Dream of Jeannie

For instance:

"For instance:"

I Dream of Jeannie

What? What? What are you trying to prove? Yes.

"What? What? What are you trying to prove? Yes."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, this is the biggest advantage of all.

"Well, this is the biggest advantage of all."

I Dream of Jeannie

When you are old, l'll still look like this...

"When you are old, l'll still look like this..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and you won't have to chase young girls.

"...and you won't have to chase young girls."

I Dream of Jeannie

All right, Jeannie. l'm aware of the fringe benefits.

"All right, Jeannie. l'm aware of the fringe benefits."

I Dream of Jeannie

-But l'm not ready to get married yet. -Oh, very well.

"-But l'm not ready to get married yet. -Oh, very well."

I Dream of Jeannie

l have waited for 2000 years. l suppose l can wait a while longer.

"l have waited for 2000 years. l suppose l can wait a while longer."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, sure you can. Meantime, you won't go out with Captain Healey?

"Well, sure you can. Meantime, you won't go out with Captain Healey?"

I Dream of Jeannie

lf it will make you happy.

"lf it will make you happy."

I Dream of Jeannie

And if you promise not to go out with other girls.

"And if you promise not to go out with other girls."

I Dream of Jeannie

Right. No other girls? l'm a bachelor. Of course l'll go--

"Right. No other girls? l'm a bachelor. Of course l'll go--"

I Dream of Jeannie

-Goodbye, master. -You got a deal.

"-Goodbye, master. -You got a deal."

I Dream of Jeannie

ln that case....

"ln that case...."

I Dream of Jeannie

Good night, master.

"Good night, master."

I Dream of Jeannie

Even if l did marry her, how would l ever get in that bottle?

"Even if l did marry her, how would l ever get in that bottle?"

I Dream of Jeannie

-The general will be right with you. -Thank you, sergeant.

"-The general will be right with you. -Thank you, sergeant."

I Dream of Jeannie

Tony, you've got to help me find Jeannie.

"Tony, you've got to help me find Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

She vanished into thin air again.

"She vanished into thin air again."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Well, l don't know what l can do, Roge. -l see her once and she disappears.

"-Well, l don't know what l can do, Roge. -l see her once and she disappears."

I Dream of Jeannie

A woman just can't vanish into a puff of smoke.

"A woman just can't vanish into a puff of smoke."

I Dream of Jeannie

Roger, with women, logic will get you nowhere.

"Roger, with women, logic will get you nowhere."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, l'll tell you, l gotta find her. l'm going crazy.

"Well, l'll tell you, l gotta find her. l'm going crazy."

I Dream of Jeannie

You see this. Look at that. lsn't that--?

"You see this. Look at that. lsn't that--?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Hey, that's a lot of carats.

"Hey, that's a lot of carats."

I Dream of Jeannie

l was gonna put it on her finger last night, but what does she do?

"l was gonna put it on her finger last night, but what does she do?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Stands me up in front of the public library.

"Stands me up in front of the public library."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, if you want my advice, forget her.

"Well, if you want my advice, forget her."

I Dream of Jeannie

l don't want your advice. l want Jeannie.

"l don't want your advice. l want Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

Good morning, gentlemen.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Good morning, sir. -General.

"-Good morning, sir. -General."

I Dream of Jeannie

The Russian cosmonauts are with Dr. Bellows now.

"The Russian cosmonauts are with Dr. Bellows now."

I Dream of Jeannie

They'll join us in a moment.

"They'll join us in a moment."

I Dream of Jeannie

The State Department has invited Majors Posnovsky and Tiomkin here...

"The State Department has invited Majors Posnovsky and Tiomkin here..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...as a gesture of good will.

"...as a gesture of good will."

I Dream of Jeannie

They'll be staying at my hotel for two days.

"They'll be staying at my hotel for two days."

I Dream of Jeannie

You will be their hosts and entertain them.

"You will be their hosts and entertain them."

I Dream of Jeannie

What type of entertainment would you suggest, sir?

"What type of entertainment would you suggest, sir?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Their stay will be brief...

"Their stay will be brief..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...but we'd like them to leave impressed with the flavour...

"...but we'd like them to leave impressed with the flavour..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and the majesty of our great country.

"...and the majesty of our great country."

I Dream of Jeannie

So keep them away from the Watusi festival...

"So keep them away from the Watusi festival..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and the strip joints.

"...and the strip joints."

I Dream of Jeannie

Good morning, gentlemen.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Good morning, sir. -Colonel.

"-Good morning, sir. -Colonel."

I Dream of Jeannie

Captain Nelson, Captain Healey, Major Tiomkin and Major Posnovsky.

"Captain Nelson, Captain Healey, Major Tiomkin and Major Posnovsky."

I Dream of Jeannie

How do you do?

"How do you do?"

I Dream of Jeannie

-Thank you. -Captains Healey and Nelson...

"-Thank you. -Captains Healey and Nelson..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...will do everything to make your stay pleasant.

"...will do everything to make your stay pleasant."

I Dream of Jeannie

Captain Healey, you'll be in charge of Major Posnovsky.

"Captain Healey, you'll be in charge of Major Posnovsky."

I Dream of Jeannie

Captain Nelson, Major Tiomkin.

"Captain Nelson, Major Tiomkin."

I Dream of Jeannie

-My pleasure, major. -Mine too.

"-My pleasure, major. -Mine too."

I Dream of Jeannie

l think it's about time for our tour around the base, right, Dr. Bellows?

"l think it's about time for our tour around the base, right, Dr. Bellows?"

I Dream of Jeannie

The photographers are waiting outside. Right this way.

"The photographers are waiting outside. Right this way."

I Dream of Jeannie

The press has been swarming for an interview with you cosmonauts.

"The press has been swarming for an interview with you cosmonauts."

I Dream of Jeannie

Captain, l am very direct person.

"Captain, l am very direct person."

I Dream of Jeannie

From moment l see you, l say, ''This cat is for me.''

"From moment l see you, l say, ''This cat is for me.''"

I Dream of Jeannie

Cat?

"Cat?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, yes. Well-- Major Tiomkin, l--

"Oh, yes. Well-- Major Tiomkin, l--"

I Dream of Jeannie

Sonya, big daddy.

"Sonya, big daddy."

I Dream of Jeannie

l'm sorry l have to leave you alone tonight, Jeannie.

"l'm sorry l have to leave you alone tonight, Jeannie."

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, l understand. You have this Major Tiomkin to take care of.

"Oh, l understand. You have this Major Tiomkin to take care of."

I Dream of Jeannie

Yes. Yes, l certainly do.

"Yes. Yes, l certainly do."

I Dream of Jeannie

l would only be in the way.

"l would only be in the way."

I Dream of Jeannie

You-- You might, yeah.

"You-- You might, yeah."

I Dream of Jeannie

We'll probably spend the evening discussing aerodynamics...

"We'll probably spend the evening discussing aerodynamics..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...and playing chess.

"...and playing chess."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, l will stay home and watch television.

"Well, l will stay home and watch television."

I Dream of Jeannie

lt is more fun than a flying carpet.

"lt is more fun than a flying carpet."

I Dream of Jeannie

Good, good.

"Good, good."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, off to an evening of chess.

"Well, off to an evening of chess."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Master. -Yeah?

"-Master. -Yeah?"

I Dream of Jeannie

What does this Major Tiomkin look like?

"What does this Major Tiomkin look like?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Oh, you know, all eyebrows, heavyset.

"Oh, you know, all eyebrows, heavyset."

I Dream of Jeannie

Average Russian.

"Average Russian."

I Dream of Jeannie

-Something like this? -Yeah.

"-Something like this? -Yeah."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, yes.

"Well, yes."

I Dream of Jeannie

He has a little more hair than that.

"He has a little more hair than that."

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, he doesn't have a beard.

"Well, he doesn't have a beard."

I Dream of Jeannie

Does he look like this?

"Does he look like this?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Well, you're getting close...

"Well, you're getting close..."

I Dream of Jeannie

...but his physique is a little different.

"...but his physique is a little different."

I Dream of Jeannie

Like this?

"Like this?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Yeah, yeah. That's more like it, all right.

"Yeah, yeah. That's more like it, all right."

I Dream of Jeannie

Jeannie, please, l can explain.

"Jeannie, please, l can explain."

I Dream of Jeannie

There's nothing to explain. You have broken your promise.

"There's nothing to explain. You have broken your promise."

I Dream of Jeannie

l didn't break my promise. General Barkley broke my promise.

"l didn't break my promise. General Barkley broke my promise."

I Dream of Jeannie

-He ordered me to take out-- -Play chess?

"-He ordered me to take out-- -Play chess?"

I Dream of Jeannie

Which one of you will make the first move?

"Which one of you will make the first move?"

I Dream of Jeannie

He gets his orders from the State Department.

"He gets his orders from the State Department."

I Dream of Jeannie

Try to understand why l have to take out Sonya.

"Try to understand why l have to take out Sonya."

I Dream of Jeannie

Major Tiomkin.

"Major Tiomkin."

I Dream of Jeannie

Of course, master.

"Of course, master."

I Dream of Jeannie

And try to understand why l must go out with Captain Healey.

"And try to understand why l must go out with Captain Healey."

I Dream of Jeannie

-No, that's different. -Good night, master.

"-No, that's different. -Good night, master."

I Dream of Jeannie

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