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Clips from Gentlemen Broncos

"Mine just wants to eat."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Hey. l don't think you're allowed to be here. Mr. Keefe is right next door."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Relax, Benjamin, l just want to get to know you better."
Gentlemen Broncos
"(STUDENTS CHATTERlNG)"
Gentlemen Broncos
"So, when are you gonna let me read one of your stories?"
Gentlemen Broncos
"l don't know. l usually don't let people read my stuff."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Why not?"
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"l've let my mom read a few, but they've just made her cry."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Most people just get sicked out and stop reading."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Really? Are there romantic sequences?"
Gentlemen Broncos
"No. None of that crap. lt's just some mild swearing and sci-fi violence."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Well, have you tried posting any of your stories online?"
Gentlemen Broncos
"Yeah. But everybody can do that, you know."
Gentlemen Broncos
"l want to get published for real."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Ronald Chevalier had his first trilogy published when he was 1 5."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Well, you'll never get anywhere by just letting your mom read your work."
Gentlemen Broncos
"You can read this. lt's called Yeast Lords."
Gentlemen Broncos
"(CLEARS THROAT)"
Gentlemen Broncos
"BENJAMlN: The Nad Lab was a cold, white room."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Bronco, the last of the Yeast Lords,"
Gentlemen Broncos
"lay spread-eagle, strapped to a medical pod."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Someone had stolen his yeast, and he had gone totally ape-sh..."
Gentlemen Broncos
"(GASPS)"
Gentlemen Broncos
"What the crap?"
Gentlemen Broncos
"Oh, my. . . My gems!"
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"Sorry, Bronco. We had to borrow one of your gonads."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Daysius. l should've known it was you."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Oh, l'm not the real Lord Daysius."
Gentlemen Broncos
"My name is Dennis. l'm one of his many clones."
Gentlemen Broncos
"We're all very sorry. Lord Daysius sends his regards."
Gentlemen Broncos
"But we're investigating ways to strengthen the military."
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"Your gonad is being used for research."
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"You took my nads."
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"We only took one."
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"You took my nads, Dennis."
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"l know you're upset, but we plan to give it back."
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"We'll be done with it very soon."
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"Darn you, flippin' Daysius."
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"Get away from me with that. You hear me?"
Gentlemen Broncos
"Relax, Bronco. This will ease the pain."
Gentlemen Broncos
"(SNARLlNG)"
Gentlemen Broncos
"You release me, my cat's hungry."
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"Release me!"
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"(GROANS)"
Gentlemen Broncos
"You tell Lord Daysius to eat the corn out of my crap."
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"(GASPS)"
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"(TOlLET FLUSHlNG)"
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"Good night, Benjamin. l really need to think about this one."
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"Program."
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"Before we commence the activities,"
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"l'd like to introduce you to a very special person."
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"He is a man who has repeatedly probed our imaginations for decades."
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"A man whose canon of work has pushed the envelope of science and reason."
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"A man who has created such realistic characters, l call them friends."
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"Chevalier. He's talking about Ronald Chevalier."
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"Without further ado,"
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"l give you one of the greatest"
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"science fiction authors of our time,"
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"Dr. Ronald Chevalier."
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"(WHOOPlNG)"
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"Thank you. So good to see you, Cletus."
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"Greetings and salutations."
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"lt is such an honor to be in the midst of so many juvescent ripe minds."
Gentlemen Broncos
"When l was your age, l had just completed my first trilogy,"
Gentlemen Broncos
"a body of work you now know as The Cyborg Harpies."
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"(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG) WOMAN: l love you, Ronald !"
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"Thank you."
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"But what many people fail to recognize"
Gentlemen Broncos
"is that l created over 49 different pieces of cover art for that trilogy."
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"No way."
Gentlemen Broncos
"ln this first piece, we see an early rendering of a harpy named Linda."
Gentlemen Broncos
"Here, she uses her knowledge of lasers to rupture the crust of a distant moon."
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"Here is a detail of the ruptured moon crust."
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""Must rupture the moon crust,"" she's thinking."
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"This is a piece that came to me in a dream when l was 1 1 ."
Gentlemen Broncos
"l call it Migration,"
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"and it depicts a fleet of harpies synchronizing their mammary cannons"
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"to create laser-rain."
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"A hard rain's gonna fall."
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"And finally we have a youngling"
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"trying to penetrate the secrets of the human mind."
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"You won't do it like that, youngling. You must use friendship."
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"Thank you."
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"For the first time ever, it is my privilege to announce"
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"Prism Publishing will be hosting a contest"
Gentlemen Broncos
"for the best work submitted at this festival."
Gentlemen Broncos
"lt will be judged by a panel of industry professionals,"
Gentlemen Broncos
"including myself,"
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"and the winner will receive a 1 ,000-copy release of their work"
Gentlemen Broncos
"at selected bookstores nationwide."
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"(AUDlENCE MURMURlNG)"
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"ln addition, l will personally create an original piece of cover art"
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"to accompany the winning story."
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"(AUDlENCE EXCLAlMlNG)"
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"May the glistening chrome of the Borg Queen shed her light upon us all."
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"(AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG)"
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"Amen."
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"l'm assuming that most of you are here for two main reasons."
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"Alpha, you love to write fantasy fiction,"
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"and beta, the character names in your stories are suffering."
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"We're going to begin with a little game which will demonstrate a theory of mine"
Gentlemen Broncos
"known as "The Power of the Suffix.""
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"You. Give me the name of one of the protagonists in your fantasies."
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"Nebuchadnezzar."
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"Oh, boy."
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"Very original."
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"l've heard that one before."
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"But don't worry, need thou not be afraid,"
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"for we can turn a humdrum, forgettable name like Nebuchadnezzar"
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"into something magical like this. . ."
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"Nebucoronius."
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"And it's that easy."
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"We can add "onius," "ainous," or "anous""
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"to just about anything, and it becomes magical."
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"You. Give me the name of one of your central protags."
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"Bronco."
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"What is he, a centaur?"
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"No."
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"Does he shape-shift into equine form ever?"
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"No, he's just a man."
Gentlemen Broncos
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