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Clips from Gentlemen Broncos

Well, then, l would. . . l would lose the "C" immediately,

"Well, then, l would. . . l would lose the "C" immediately,"

Gentlemen Broncos

and l'd replace it with an "L." Bronlonius.

"and l'd replace it with an "L." Bronlonius."

Gentlemen Broncos

And if he's part of a traveling clan,

"And if he's part of a traveling clan,"

Gentlemen Broncos

his clansfellow could call him Bronlo for short,

"his clansfellow could call him Bronlo for short,"

Gentlemen Broncos

except on formal occasions.

"except on formal occasions."

Gentlemen Broncos

Yes?

"Yes?"

Gentlemen Broncos

What about names found in troll colonies?

"What about names found in troll colonies?"

Gentlemen Broncos

ln troll colonies, well, that's a different matter.

"ln troll colonies, well, that's a different matter."

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Give me an example.

"Give me an example."

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One of my trolls is named Teacup.

"One of my trolls is named Teacup."

Gentlemen Broncos

l don't like it. l would go with Trojainous every time.

"l don't like it. l would go with Trojainous every time."

Gentlemen Broncos

Yes?

"Yes?"

Gentlemen Broncos

But l still like the name Teacup better.

"But l still like the name Teacup better."

Gentlemen Broncos

lt's not a. . .

"lt's not a. . ."

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lt's not a question of liking it better, it's just l'm, as an author,

"lt's not a question of liking it better, it's just l'm, as an author,"

Gentlemen Broncos

picturing myself as a troll mother.

"picturing myself as a troll mother."

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l have just given birth to a litter of troll cubs.

"l have just given birth to a litter of troll cubs."

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They're covered in placentae, pawing at my many teats

"They're covered in placentae, pawing at my many teats"

Gentlemen Broncos

for the vital, life-giving colostrum.

"for the vital, life-giving colostrum."

Gentlemen Broncos

l'm not thinking, "Hmm, Teacup," am l?

"l'm not thinking, "Hmm, Teacup," am l?"

Gentlemen Broncos

lt's just not believable.

"lt's just not believable."

Gentlemen Broncos

And if l don't believe it, the reader doesn't believe it.

"And if l don't believe it, the reader doesn't believe it."

Gentlemen Broncos

Trojainous. Troka Kahn. Trody.

"Trojainous. Troka Kahn. Trody."

Gentlemen Broncos

Names in this vein.

"Names in this vein."

Gentlemen Broncos

lf female, Trojana.

"lf female, Trojana."

Gentlemen Broncos

Yes?

"Yes?"

Gentlemen Broncos

l thought trolls were supposed to be named after resources, like trees.

"l thought trolls were supposed to be named after resources, like trees."

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Are you telling me what trolls are named after?

"Are you telling me what trolls are named after?"

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You do realize l am the author of Troll, Ho.

"You do realize l am the author of Troll, Ho."

Gentlemen Broncos

Because it all boils down to species.

"Because it all boils down to species."

Gentlemen Broncos

Are they tree-dwellers, bridge-dwellers, subterranean?

"Are they tree-dwellers, bridge-dwellers, subterranean?"

Gentlemen Broncos

A troll wouldn't come up with a name like Teacup, a little girl would.

"A troll wouldn't come up with a name like Teacup, a little girl would."

Gentlemen Broncos

Trojainous.

"Trojainous."

Gentlemen Broncos

How was the workshop?

"How was the workshop?"

Gentlemen Broncos

l don't know. Chevalier seems kind of full of himself.

"l don't know. Chevalier seems kind of full of himself."

Gentlemen Broncos

He's kind of lame.

"He's kind of lame."

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Really? l think he's gorgeous.

"Really? l think he's gorgeous."

Gentlemen Broncos

He's not gonna like my story, the names are all wrong.

"He's not gonna like my story, the names are all wrong."

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Oh, l don't think so.

"Oh, l don't think so."

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What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

Gentlemen Broncos

Well, l thought your story was really good.

"Well, l thought your story was really good."

Gentlemen Broncos

Really?

"Really?"

Gentlemen Broncos

l thought you didn't like it. Last night you seemed offended.

"l thought you didn't like it. Last night you seemed offended."

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No. l. . . l actually thought it was kind of amazing.

"No. l. . . l actually thought it was kind of amazing."

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What inspired it? Some weird surgery you had?

"What inspired it? Some weird surgery you had?"

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l wanted to write a story for my dad.

"l wanted to write a story for my dad."

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He kind of died when l was young.

"He kind of died when l was young."

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Oh, gosh, l'm so sorry.

"Oh, gosh, l'm so sorry."

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He was real brave. He was a game warden, an explorer.

"He was real brave. He was a game warden, an explorer."

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l see. So Bronco is kind of like your dad,

"l see. So Bronco is kind of like your dad,"

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and his gonads are his seed,

"and his gonads are his seed,"

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which means the gonads are you.

"which means the gonads are you."

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That's why they're so precious.

"That's why they're so precious."

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Well, you know, like all great writers,

"Well, you know, like all great writers,"

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you're gonna have to go through a lot of crap,

"you're gonna have to go through a lot of crap,"

Gentlemen Broncos

but someday your junk will be seen by all, and it will be awesome.

"but someday your junk will be seen by all, and it will be awesome."

Gentlemen Broncos

l truly believe that.

"l truly believe that."

Gentlemen Broncos

Thanks, Tabatha.

"Thanks, Tabatha."

Gentlemen Broncos

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

"(PHONE RlNGlNG)"

Gentlemen Broncos

Chevalier.

"Chevalier."

Gentlemen Broncos

MERVE: Ronald, how"s the conference going? Any contenders?

"MERVE: Ronald, how"s the conference going? Any contenders?"

Gentlemen Broncos

Well, let me read you a passage from what l'm reading right now.

"Well, let me read you a passage from what l'm reading right now."

Gentlemen Broncos

"Pierre used to be a jockey in college.

""Pierre used to be a jockey in college."

Gentlemen Broncos

"He loves to have rice pudding with his tea.

""He loves to have rice pudding with his tea."

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"He loves solving animal murders.

""He loves solving animal murders."

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"Pierre has two horses, Jacques and Paris France, both girls.

""Pierre has two horses, Jacques and Paris France, both girls."

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"He rides Paris France on the brick roads in London,

""He rides Paris France on the brick roads in London,"

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"looking for mysterious things.

""looking for mysterious things."

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"He rides Jacques for pleasure."

""He rides Jacques for pleasure.""

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Merve, never make me do another one of these things again.

"Merve, never make me do another one of these things again."

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These kids are a joke.

"These kids are a joke."

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Ronald, as your publisher,

"Ronald, as your publisher,"

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it's not a bad idea to get in touch with your audience once in a while.

"it's not a bad idea to get in touch with your audience once in a while."

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(SlGHS)

"(SlGHS)"

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All right.

"All right."

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Listen, Merve, did you have a chance

"Listen, Merve, did you have a chance"

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to look at the Sandcastle Diaries yet?

"to look at the Sandcastle Diaries yet?"

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Ronald, l'll cut to the chase. lt's horrible.

"Ronald, l'll cut to the chase. lt's horrible."

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We can't publish it. lt won't sell.

"We can't publish it. lt won't sell."

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Unless you can give us something worth taking to print,

"Unless you can give us something worth taking to print,"

Gentlemen Broncos

we're just gonna have to let you go.

"we're just gonna have to let you go."

Gentlemen Broncos

Merve, Merve, wait.

"Merve, Merve, wait."

Gentlemen Broncos

Moon Fetus.

"Moon Fetus."

Gentlemen Broncos

A fetus is found on a moon base.

"A fetus is found on a moon base."

Gentlemen Broncos

That's the premise.

"That's the premise."

Gentlemen Broncos

l'll talk to you later.

"l'll talk to you later."

Gentlemen Broncos

(GRUNTlNG)

"(GRUNTlNG)"

Gentlemen Broncos

BENJAMlN: Bronco cried out in pain as he sat on the shore of Goose Lake,

"BENJAMlN: Bronco cried out in pain as he sat on the shore of Goose Lake,"

Gentlemen Broncos

trying to sew his junk back on.

"trying to sew his junk back on."

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(GROANlNG)

"(GROANlNG)"

Gentlemen Broncos

Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

Gentlemen Broncos

What?

"What?"

Gentlemen Broncos

ls this your pudding?

"ls this your pudding?"

Gentlemen Broncos

What do you want?

"What do you want?"

Gentlemen Broncos

Hey!

"Hey!"

Gentlemen Broncos

(EXCLAlMS)

"(EXCLAlMS)"

Gentlemen Broncos

That was my backup nad.

"That was my backup nad."

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l'm sorry.

"l'm sorry."

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Was it a fancy pudding?

"Was it a fancy pudding?"

Gentlemen Broncos

l know who you are.

"l know who you are."

Gentlemen Broncos

Say what?

"Say what?"

Gentlemen Broncos

Our fathers fought valiantly and were victorious in the Battle of Shiroh.

"Our fathers fought valiantly and were victorious in the Battle of Shiroh."

Gentlemen Broncos

l was but a child then, maybe you don't remember.

"l was but a child then, maybe you don't remember."

Gentlemen Broncos

When your father died at the hands of Daysius,

"When your father died at the hands of Daysius,"

Gentlemen Broncos

your mother wept so hard that her milk dried.

"your mother wept so hard that her milk dried."

Gentlemen Broncos

To keep you alive, we shared suckle at my mother's breast.

"To keep you alive, we shared suckle at my mother's breast."

Gentlemen Broncos

Vanaya?

"Vanaya?"

Gentlemen Broncos

lt is l.

"lt is l."

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l don't believe that.

"l don't believe that."

Gentlemen Broncos

My family is dead.

"My family is dead."

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My brother and l have been forced to work in the yeast factories

"My brother and l have been forced to work in the yeast factories"

Gentlemen Broncos

ever since the epidemic.

"ever since the epidemic."

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You have a brother? Yes.

"You have a brother? Yes."

Gentlemen Broncos

His name is Kanaya.

"His name is Kanaya."

Gentlemen Broncos

He doesn't speak.

"He doesn't speak."

Gentlemen Broncos

(YELPS)

"(YELPS)"

Gentlemen Broncos

But he's very handy with powders and gizmos and such.

"But he's very handy with powders and gizmos and such."

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He can build anything.

"He can build anything."

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What y'all. . . What y'all want from me?

"What y'all. . . What y'all want from me?"

Gentlemen Broncos

Let us come with you.

"Let us come with you."

Gentlemen Broncos

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