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Clips from Weeds - Super Lucky Happy (S05E05)

"Wow, to be you."
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"Why can't you just walk away?"
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"Why can't you go home, forget about all this?"
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"Nothing to go home to."
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"Nothing and no one. Not anymore."
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"I know it's soon, but have you thought about dating?"
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"It wouldn't be who you had, but there's someone else out there for you."
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"My ugly cousin Paulo, he make himself a fuck doll from a tire."
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"-Someone or something. -You have to choose, Nancy."
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"-Who's it gonna be? -No. I let him go, he kills you."
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"-I let you go, you kill him. I can't. -Come on, Mommy. Pick your favorite."
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"Because you're right. I'll kill him. It's what I'm living for."
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"-See. I tell you. -Or he'll kill me without blinking."
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"Then stuff his face and watch movies like nothing happened."
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"-That's true too. -Choose."
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"I can't. I'm bringing a child into the world."
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"I'm not ready to sit here and play Buddha..."
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"...and be fucking Zen about who lives or dies."
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"So we will ask the Magic Ball."
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"Tell me, Magic Ball..."
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"...can these two men part in peace and live to kill another day?"
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"Go on and shake your Magic Ball."
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"Tell yourself you're so noble because we're both still breathing."
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"You've got blood on your hands."
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"Just sign here and here. Month to month. Three months down."
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"Well, now, I was thinking 12-month lease with two months down."
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"Fine."
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"I'm really glad you changed your mind."
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"He beat up my cat."
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"I like your style."
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"Just sign the fucking paper already."
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"-We're in business, partner. -Partner."
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"Partners."
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"Faggots."
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"He was my first."
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"My first boyfriend. My first love. My first-- You know."
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"And then he went away and my life became a bucket of shit."
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"Well, I feel your bucket."
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"That was pretty smart, pretending to be Judah."
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"Estate taxes, probate, drain the whole account."
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"Well, maybe you could help me out."
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"I don't know. I could get fired."
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"Of course, the bank is closing anyway."
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"Downsizing, recession."
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"You sort of look like him."
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"You have the same kind eyes."
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"Tell me more about my eyes."
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"All right, here's the deal."
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"You go out with me and I'll get you into that account."
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"I was gonna ask you out anyway."
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"Only it has to be as Judah. You're Judah and I'm me."
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"And you have to love me and treat me nice."
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"Well, there's nothing weird about that."
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"Yeah. Sure, Margaret. Whatever you say."
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"Mags. Judah calls me Mags."
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"Are you all right?"
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"As I see it, yes."
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"It is certain. It is decidedly so."
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"Most likely. Outlook good. Signs point to yes."
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"Without a doubt. Reply hazy, try again."
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"Ask again later. Better not tell you now."
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"Cannot predict now. Don't count on it."
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"My reply is no. My sources say no."
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"Outlook not so good."
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"Very doubtful."
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"So no. Not all right."
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"What's gonna happen in there..."
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"...it's not right or wrong."
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"It's not good or bad. It is."
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"It's what happens next."
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"We chose. You and I."
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"When we came together, we chose."
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"A life. This life. For you, for me, for our son."
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"There is nothing I will not do to protect that life."
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"Previously on Weeds:"
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"My partner is dead."
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"I'm gonna get this guy, and I'm gonna kill him."
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"He was my partner."
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"-Oh, holy shit. -The Tijuana police?"
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"-Don't enjoy this. -We should flee. And I love you."
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"I need you to take Shane to my sister."
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"-She banged Uncle Andy. -Asshole."
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"Do not make me go back there."
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"Everyone hates me."
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"-Where in the fuck am I? -You're in Texas, ma'am."
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"-Mr. Sundasky. -I need some pot."
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"I wanna open a store. Medical marijuana. Doug's helping."
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"We can't approve your application without consent of law enforcement."
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"You guys wanna sell drugs? I'm gonna want my cut."
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"You will lie back, show there is a baby that is both male and mine."
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"You remember Sucio? He will watch you now."
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"-Where is Sucio? -There was blood."
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"Get yourself to a safe place. Wait for my call."
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"What are we doing here, Nance?"
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"Big buffalo blasting. It says so right on the thing."
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"No, here. Family Fun Bowl-O-Rama. I'm out of tokens."
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"I bowled seven full games. I'm being recruited for league, so that's--"
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"I wanna go home."
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"You shot a bunny."
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"Don't think you're supposed to blast the bunny."
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"Or the owl."
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"When Esteban calls, we can all go home."
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"Then you'll be free to sit your sister-fucking ass..."
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"...down on the couch, get high..."
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"...schedule your post-sister-fucking jerk session..."
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"...wherein you re-live all the many pleasures of fucking my sister."
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"Yeah. I see what's going on here."
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"Don't."
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"-What? -Just don't."
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"Fine. Jealous."
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"You're pissed about Jill."
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"You don't need to wait for Esteban to call, ergo--"
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"-Ergo. -Ergo."
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"-It's not about him. It's me. -Really? It's not."
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"-That night in the car. -That was for the cops."
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"-The passion. -Passion?"
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"-I was trying not to pee in my pants. -You felt something."
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"-This is bullshit. -You tried to hide your feelings."
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"-Bullshit. -Bullshit."
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"Okay, so kiss me."
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