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Clips from Weeds - Suck 'n' Spit (S05E05)

"No."
Weeds
"No. Just-- Just shut up. Just come in here. Bye."
Weeds
"My dream is dead. Paradise lost."
Weeds
"We'll start over. I'll grow in the upstairs closet."
Weeds
"-I did it, I can do it again. -This is America. You can't start over."
Weeds
"You get one chance. You blow it, that's it."
Weeds
"Adios, losers. I am out of here for good."
Weeds
"For great."
Weeds
"New condo. Ocean view, covered parking."
Weeds
"Saltwater pool."
Weeds
"Good for you, Mrs. Hodes."
Weeds
"Thanks for stopping by."
Weeds
"-Enjoy packing. -Thank you."
Weeds
"Yeah, good for you. Who you fucking?"
Weeds
"Nobody. Did this all on my own."
Weeds
"Selling You're Pretty! cosmetics."
Weeds
"And I am selling a shitload."
Weeds
"That bullshit makeup company?"
Weeds
"Yeah, that bullshit is buying Mama a new life."
Weeds
"God, it's good to be back on top."
Weeds
"-Engorged, I'm engorged. -Engorged?"
Weeds
"Engorged, it hurts. Please, I need you to suck it out."
Weeds
"-Can't we just-- -I tried."
Weeds
"-Oh, maybe-- -I tri-- I tried."
Weeds
"-Okay. Okay. -Please, be the baby."
Weeds
"I've done my share of role-playing before."
Weeds
"Some crazy, weird shit. I was a werewolf--"
Weeds
"-Shut up and suck. -Okay, wait. Hold it."
Weeds
"-What's it gonna taste like? -Rum and milk."
Weeds
"Okay. Okay."
Weeds
"Here we go. Lips to nips."
Weeds
"-No teeth. No. -Sorry. Sorry."
Weeds
"Okay. Spit, spit."
Weeds
"That's a really interesting flavor."
Weeds
"I imagined a spout, but it's like a showerhead. It's like--"
Weeds
"You swallowed."
Weeds
"Yeah, well. I didn't wanna be a hypocrite."
Weeds
"Andy?"
Weeds
"Why is the bed moving?"
Weeds
"Wow, I guess we had an earthquake."
Weeds
"You're jerking off."
Weeds
"I couldn't sleep."
Weeds
"So take a fucking Ambien."
Weeds
"That's what I was doing."
Weeds
"Nature's Ambien, the old, tried and true male way."
Weeds
"Cum. Sleep."
Weeds
"But I'm right here."
Weeds
"Well, I'm engorged. It hurts."
Weeds
"I need you to suck it out."
Weeds
"-Be the baby. -This is too fucking weird."
Weeds
"I've seen you in the bathtub."
Weeds
"You watched me fuck your sister."
Weeds
"I suckled you."
Weeds
"But this is too weird for you?"
Weeds
"Which is why we should cling to any last shred of normalcy that we can."
Weeds
"Okay. Just be two normal people."
Weeds
"Normal brother-sisters-in-law..."
Weeds
"...sharing a house and a bed together..."
Weeds
"...raising a Mexican-American child."
Weeds
"-Just normal. -Exactly."
Weeds
"Which means masturbating on our own time."
Weeds
"Yeah, because I'm swimming in that these days."
Weeds
"Today was a bath of me-time and personal space."
Weeds
"Sounds like a feeding."
Weeds
"I'll get this. Go ahead. Take your Andy time."
Weeds
"Can Andy time be about 15 minutes?"
Weeds
"Just keep it on that side of the bed."
Weeds
"Just so you know..."
Weeds
"...if you wanna rub one out in bed, I totally get that, and I'll stay..."
Weeds
"...way over on my side. You won't even know I'm here."
Weeds
"I just had a baby less than two weeks ago."
Weeds
"The father of my child might be gone for good."
Weeds
"So rubbing one out isn't exactly at the top of my list."
Weeds
"-But thank you. -All right. Just wanted to reciprocate."
Weeds
"Hey, when-- You weren't thinking about--"
Weeds
"Don't flatter yourself."
Weeds
"Here."
Weeds
"For when you..."
Weeds
"...burp."
Weeds
"Go ahead, sweetheart. Share. This is a safe place."
Weeds
"Well, he says that I can't do anything on my own."
Weeds
"He says no one will hire me."
Weeds
"That I'm too stupid to have a job."
Weeds
"He calls me Dummy-No-Jobby."
Weeds
"And whenever his friends come over, he--"
Weeds
"He what? Locks you in the closet?"
Weeds
"Dresses you like a maid? Go ahead Dummy-No-Jobby, finish the story."
Weeds
"What happened?"
Weeds
"May I help you, sir?"
Weeds
"Yeah. I wanna make a lot of money selling your face chemicals."
Weeds
"Well, we don't carry products for men."
Weeds
"So please leave the way you came in."
Weeds
"-Okay? -What? You're kicking me out?"
Weeds
"What, because I'm not some bored housewife? What's that?"
Weeds
"Sir, You're Pretty! is for women who have been marginalized..."
Weeds
"...and disenfranchised, and who have never been allowed..."
Weeds
"...the opportunity to succeed."
Weeds
"Well, I need the opportunity to succeed."
Weeds
"Please leave."
Weeds
"Okay. If you wouldn't mind opening your incentive booklets to Page 5."
Weeds
"Okay. Okay. I see the game here."
Weeds
"I'm gonna sue you for sexual harassment. How about that?"
Weeds
"-You mean discrimination? -That too."
Weeds
"I demand you let men sell makeup."
Weeds
"Okay. Look, asshole, I'll hook you up with a starter kit..."
Weeds
"...if you get the fuck out. You're blowing my gig."
Weeds
"Starter kits are for pussies."
Weeds
"You think you can handle a full order?"
Weeds
"Damn right, full order. Fill me up."
Weeds
"I want those incentive booklets too, so I have incentive."
Weeds
"-You single? -I dig snatch."
Weeds
"Me too. Wanna go out?"
Weeds
"Buy three full orders and I'll think about it."
Weeds
"Okay? You have a pretty day now."
Weeds
"Very pretty."
Weeds
"He drank 4 ounces."
Weeds
"Nice."
Weeds
"You think that'll translate into four hours?"
Weeds
"-Let us pray. -I can't."
Weeds
"I'm too tired."
Weeds
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