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Clips from Cheers - Diane's Nightmare (S04E04)

"If you've got it, Why not--"

""If you've got it, Why not--""

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Sam.

"Sam."

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You must be diane.

"You must be diane."

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Indeed i am.

"Indeed i am."

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Poor, poor diane.

"Poor, poor diane."

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Yes, well...

"Yes, well..."

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No, really, It's all right.

"No, really, It's all right."

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It's all right. He's told me everything.

"It's all right. He's told me everything."

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What did he tell you?

"What did he tell you?"

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How you so wanted To have his child.

"How you so wanted To have his child."

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And this-- This, of course,

"And this-- This, of course,"

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Is frasier crane.

"Is frasier crane."

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Oh...

"Oh..."

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It's a pleasure.

"It's a pleasure."

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The poor wretch You've been counseling.

"The poor wretch You've been counseling."

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Yes, he's, Uh, helped me Quite a bit.

"Yes, he's, Uh, helped me Quite a bit."

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I hope so.

"I hope so."

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Are you still Having trouble

"Are you still Having trouble"

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With that... Little habit?

"With that... Little habit?"

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Habit?

"Habit?"

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What, uh, What little habit Is that, frasier?

"What, uh, What little habit Is that, frasier?"

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Diane: Do tell, do tell.

"Diane: Do tell, do tell."

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It's an illness.

"It's an illness."

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He's not ashamed of it, Are you, frasier?

"He's not ashamed of it, Are you, frasier?"

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Oh, certainly not.

"Oh, certainly not."

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Not exactly. Well, um...

"Not exactly. Well, um..."

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[Clears throat] Not entirely.

"[Clears throat] Not entirely."

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All depends on the--

"All depends on the--"

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He's a kleptomaniac.

"He's a kleptomaniac."

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Oh, oh.

"Oh, oh."

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And not making Much progress, I'm afraid.

"And not making Much progress, I'm afraid."

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He shoplifted His entire wardrobe.

"He shoplifted His entire wardrobe."

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Well, Not all of it.

"Well, Not all of it."

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But, uh, These pants Are pretty hot.

"But, uh, These pants Are pretty hot."

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Ha ha ha.

"Ha ha ha."

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Sam, are we having A good night?

"Sam, are we having A good night?"

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How much have i got In the register?

"How much have i got In the register?"

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Oh, i don't know.

"Oh, i don't know."

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It's been pretty slow,

"It's been pretty slow,"

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Probably not more Than about 50 bucks.

"Probably not more Than about 50 bucks."

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Are you kiddin'?

"Are you kiddin'?"

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We must have A thousand In here.

"We must have A thousand In here."

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Thank you, woody.

"Thank you, woody."

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I just thought The owner Should know.

"I just thought The owner Should know."

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I'll need the cash For my trip.

"I'll need the cash For my trip."

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Oh, andy, I don't know.

"Oh, andy, I don't know."

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Oh, sam, loosen up.

"Oh, sam, loosen up."

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Unclench Your cash register.

"Unclench Your cash register."

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Listen, andy, How about, uh,

"Listen, andy, How about, uh,"

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Tearin' up all My unpaid bar chits

"Tearin' up all My unpaid bar chits"

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As kind of a little Going-away present?

"As kind of a little Going-away present?"

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Norm, you're a Good and valued Customer,

"Norm, you're a Good and valued Customer,"

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But i can't Do that.

"But i can't Do that."

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Nice try there.

"Nice try there."

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Do it yourself, Big guy.

"Do it yourself, Big guy."

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All right.

"All right."

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Hey, uh, That's great, andy.

"Hey, uh, That's great, andy."

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Hey, uh, How about me, pal?

"Hey, uh, How about me, pal?"

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Not a chance.

"Not a chance."

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Well, looks like, uh,

"Well, looks like, uh,"

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You did a little better Than i thought you did There, andy.

"You did a little better Than i thought you did There, andy."

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Let's see here. Uh, 100, 200--

"Let's see here. Uh, 100, 200--"

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Oh, don't bother Counting it, sam.

"Oh, don't bother Counting it, sam."

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I'll just take it all.

"I'll just take it all."

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Say, look at the time. We have to fly.

"Say, look at the time. We have to fly."

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Diane, baby, For old times' sake.

"Diane, baby, For old times' sake."

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Ooh. Ooh.

"Ooh. Ooh."

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The man just gives And gives and gives.

"The man just gives And gives and gives."

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Sam? Sam: mmm?

"Sam? Sam: mmm?"

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Take care of my bar

"Take care of my bar"

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And take care Of this old gal of mine.

"And take care Of this old gal of mine."

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It was nice meeting you all.

"It was nice meeting you all."

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Carla: Oh, us, too.

"Carla: Oh, us, too."

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And by the way,

"And by the way,"

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I love Your choker.

"I love Your choker."

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I'm not wearing A choker.

"I'm not wearing A choker."

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You will be.

"You will be."

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Come on.

"Come on."

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Bye!

"Bye!"

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Sam, you have To stop andy.

"Sam, you have To stop andy."

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He's taking All your money.

"He's taking All your money."

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He'll be back.

"He'll be back."

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Just give him A chance.

"Just give him A chance."

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Are you crazy?

"Are you crazy?"

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He's never coming back. I'm calling the police.

"He's never coming back. I'm calling the police."

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Oh, come on. He's coming back, Diane.

"Oh, come on. He's coming back, Diane."

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You know, I've made jokes

"You know, I've made jokes"

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About your dearth of Living brain cells,

"About your dearth of Living brain cells,"

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But it's not funny Anymore.

"But it's not funny Anymore."

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Don't you get tired Of being wrong?

"Don't you get tired Of being wrong?"

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Thank you, everybody.

"Thank you, everybody."

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Uh, hold it A second, andy.

"Uh, hold it A second, andy."

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Diane is making A fool of herself here.

"Diane is making A fool of herself here."

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Sam, you guys made me Look like a big shot In cynthia's eyes.

"Sam, you guys made me Look like a big shot In cynthia's eyes."

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You guys Were wonderful.

"You guys Were wonderful."

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I'll never forget you.

"I'll never forget you."

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I'm most touched that You trusted me, diane.

"I'm most touched that You trusted me, diane."

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You had reason to fear And to hate me the most.

"You had reason to fear And to hate me the most."

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Sam.

"Sam."

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Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

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Bye.

"Bye."

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Sam, i'm sorry. I--

"Sam, i'm sorry. I--"

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Sam? Wait.

"Sam? Wait."

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How could i have Been so wrong?

"How could i have Been so wrong?"

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A lifetime Of practice.

"A lifetime Of practice."

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Sam?

"Sam?"

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Hmm?

"Hmm?"

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Sam, i'm sorry.

"Sam, i'm sorry."

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I feel awful.

"I feel awful."

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You were right. Please accept my apology.

"You were right. Please accept my apology."

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Oh, forget it, Diane.

"Oh, forget it, Diane."

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I forgive you.

"I forgive you."

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"The quality of mercy Is not strained.

""The quality of mercy Is not strained."

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"It droppeth As the gentle rain From heaven

""It droppeth As the gentle rain From heaven"

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"Upon the place beneath.

""Upon the place beneath."

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"It is twice blessed

""It is twice blessed"

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"That blesseth him That gives

""That blesseth him That gives"

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Than him that takes."

"Than him that takes.""

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Thank you, sam.

"Thank you, sam."

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What did you say?

"What did you say?"

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