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Clips from Bust Down - Bad Hang (S01E01)

"[scoffs] Talking to three niggas ain't never got"
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"they dick sucked-- that's crazy."
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"- See, this is what I'm talking about."
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"This is why Jak needs to tell someone."
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"- Brah. Come on, bro. Don't start that shit again."
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"He's not doing it. - No, he-- Look."
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"Cuba Gooding Jr. spent years getting called "white-washed,""
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"and now he yells at white women"
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"with a chicken bucket on his head."
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"Hurt people hurt people. It's like a zombie bite."
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"- Hurt people hurt people."
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"[discordant piano music]"
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"Hurt people hurt people."
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"I don't want to hurt anybody."
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"- [gibbering] [laughs]"
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"I'm just playing, man."
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"Hey, y'all remember,"
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"I'm gonna see y'all at my birthday party on Monday."
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"Come on. Choo choo!"
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"- Come on. Now he's just showboatin'."
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"- [whimpering]"
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"- So, I was a child, right? But I was, like,"
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"a buff-ass child."
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"Like, grown folks walked up to me all the time, like,"
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"damn, you are clearly a fully-grown adult man"
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"who owns a lawnmower,"
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"pays full price for movie tickets,"
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"and got a mortgage, chores and whatnot."
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"- Hm. Yeah."
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"Listen, can you bring my car around?"
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"Again, it was the silver Honda Odyssey."
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"- Oh, yeah, for sure. - Thank you."
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"- I don't think you understand how strong a nigga was."
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"Imagine me in a diaper right now."
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"- What-- - Look at that."
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"Is it off the ground? - What?"
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"- Is it off the ground?"
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"- Maybe like a tiny bit on that side."
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"- Oh, nigga, come on. Don't lie to me."
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"- It's barely off the ground. - That shit's hovering."
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"I mean, she sucked my dick so hard"
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"I thought my toes switched places, man. I--"
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"- Chris, like I said, you are loved."
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"And what happened to you is very, very sad."
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"- What?"
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"[scoffs]"
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"["Make me say Ugh" plays]"
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"* *"
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"- Make me say unhh."
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"- There you are!"
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"Please, just give me the keys and tell me where my car is."
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"- Nuh nah, nuh nah!"
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"- What?"
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"- I said nah, nigga, nah!"
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"Nah!"
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"- In conclusion, Chauncey,"
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"my client requires a provisional remedy"
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"for the damage acted against him"
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"by his overseeing employer."
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"Malfeasance."
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"- So somebody brushed up against you"
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"at the vending machine? - Nah, not me."
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"- I'm the infected one, sir."
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"- Well, nigga, you the one that got touched?"
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"- Yes."
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"- So you let a grown man grab your dick,"
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"and you, as a grown man, came to report that grown man"
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"to another grown man."
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"- Uh, I prayed on it first, but yes."
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"- Well, wait a minute. Objection!"
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"My nigga--my client will not be victim-shamed"
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"in this court."
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"- [scoffs] I would have believed"
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"y'all said the girl got touched."
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"See, she a stud but she still got some jiggle"
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"under there."
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"- True."
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"- This shit right here is just flat out embarrassing."
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"- Well, embarrassing as it may be,"
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"I believe section 3, article--"
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"- Fuck section 3, nigga. Why you ain't beat his ass?"
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"- No, no, it doesn't matter why he didn't beat his ass."
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"Okay? There has to be something"
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"you can do to resolve this. - Hold on, nigga,"
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"let me break something down for you, Serpico."
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"Okay?"
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"Today's Friday, nigga."
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"So I ain't gonna get to the paperwork on this shit"
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"till next week, and next week"
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"they got new episodes of "The Masked Singer.""
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"I think Alphonso Ribeiro is the walrus."
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"But anyway, you niggas ain't got no evidence"
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"but the frailty in this nigga's eyes right here."
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"So that mean that a motherfucking investigation"
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"might not start for three or four months,"
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"and by then we been done forgot about this shit."
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"So we need to quit wasting each other's time"
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"and y'all need to step the fuck out my office"
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"so I can leave before I'm supposed to."
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"- You know what, thank you."
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"This has been an absolute treat."
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"I cannot wait to do this again."
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"- Well, I haven't enjoyed this at all!"
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"And I think the walrus is Brandon T. Jackson."
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"- Told you. - Brandon T. Jackson."
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"Who the fuck is Brandon T--"
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"- You know Brandon T. Jackson!"
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"Don't you dare pretend not to know his work!"
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"- Oh, God damn Brandon T. Jackson."
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"Nigga, I know Joseph Jackson!"
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"Fuck your ass up in this bitch."
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"Tito Jackson, motherfucker. [door closes]"
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"- Okay, I have an announcement to make."
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"After some deep soul-searching,"
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"I've come to the realization that I have been molested."
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"Mm. Bummer."
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"But what it also means is I have my hook."
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"Now don't go posting yet, okay?"
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"I gotta figure out how to roll this thing out."
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"- Good. Now you can tell your mama"
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