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Clips from Bust Down - Bad Hang (S01E01)

"- Come on--yeah!"
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"- Whoo! - Whoo!"
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"Hit me twice!"
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"[lightly edgy music]"
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"* *"
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"[indistinct yelling, whooping]"
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"- Look at these motherfuckers."
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"[background chatter]"
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"Man, fuck this."
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"I'm not even fucking supposed to be at this stupid ass job."
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"I got all the fucking potential in the world."
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"Hey, y'all, I'm finna quit."
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"I don't want to be a cafeteria lady no more."
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"- What are you doing? That's good furniture!"
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"What's wrong with you?"
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"- Life is what's wrong, nigga."
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"I'm sick of serving string beans"
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"and expired fruit salad."
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"I want a floor job."
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"I want to watch the big spenders"
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"swinging their dicks."
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"- What? We're getting floor jobs?"
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"Ooh, I want to be a chandelier."
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"You know, just sitting out there,"
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"hanging over niggas, judgin'."
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"- I have to say, it would be nice"
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"to get a job that doesn't involve urinal cakes."
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"- Thank you. - Or people leaving"
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"their toenails behind."
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"- Whoo, I want my name on a damn marquee."
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"Shit, I don't know why my name ain't up there now."
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"Chris Henson, Hammond Theater,"
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"with the likes of Bruce Bruce Bruce."
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"- Bruce Bruce the comedian? He's funny."
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"- He's funny. - Bro, and I like his suits."
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"- No, niggas."
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"Bruce Bruce Bruce. He's a magician."
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"He got a gun."
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"- Chris, I gotta ask you, man."
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"What is your show gonna be? You know what I mean?"
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"What you gonna do? What, you gonna go on stage"
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"and valet cars? [laughs]"
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"- [mimics laughter]"
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"No, nigga. What is your show gonna be?"
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"Being a custodian without a gun?"
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"- Okay, I've explained this to you all many times."
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"I am not a custodian."
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"I'm the head of Custodial Operations"
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"and Services."
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"- Okay, so you head doo-doo man."
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"[laughter]"
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"That's still a custodian, dog."
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"Even after Mario eats the star, that nigga's still a plumber."
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"- I think we should be putting all of our chips"
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"in my big cousin Chris' bag. - Talk that shit, man."
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"- I don't know what he does."
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"He don't even know what he does."
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"Nobody really knows what he does."
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"But he's the best at it."
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"- Get off his dick."
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"- No, I won't."
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"- Thanks, cuz. - No problem."
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"- Y'all need family like this."
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"Oh, get-- Okay, yeah."
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"Make a wish, nigga. Make a wish."
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"- Hmm."
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"- Hey, listen up, bunch of ninnies."
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"I'm trying to come up with a name"
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"for this new blackjack dealer I just hired."
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"He's got a rubber toe."
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"So I'm thinkin'..."
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"[rolls Rs] Roberto. [chuckles]"
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"- I don't know. It seems offensive,"
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"even if I can't tell why."
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"- Fair enough, ACLU."
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"Before I head on outta here,"
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"I just wanna let y'all know"
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"that the shipping department's having a little debrief"
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"down on the loading dock. Jak?"
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"Care to join?"
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"- Ha ha. - Come on, man."
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"- This man gotta work. - Come on, man!"
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"- * Go to work! *"
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"* Uh-oh, somebody's gotta go outside-- *"
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"- [laughs]"
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"- That hurt. - Yeah, yo, have fun, cuz."
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"- All right, Jak, let's step back here."
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"Man, I gotta say, I see real potential in you."
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"I want to take you back to my office,"
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"show you some videos I made on employee procedure,"
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"you know, see some of my home videos."
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"Hey, You been doing real nice work lately,"
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"Sweetie."
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"Real nice work."
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"[discordant music]"
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"[whispering]"
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"- * La la la la la *"
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"* Oh oh-oh-oh *"
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"* La la la la la *"
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"* Yeah-eah-eah *"
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"[funky bass chords]"
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"* *"
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"* Oh yeah-eah-eah *"
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"- Man, fuck this shit!"
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"- But can they make the shrimp Impossible?"
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"- Why?"
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"- No, Chris. No."
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"- Bet Tom Cruise could do it."
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"- I mean, I guess, but..."
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"- So what are you doing?"
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"- I don't know."
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"- I've been moolested."
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"Molested. Molested."
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"Pfftt."
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"- Like, recently?"
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"- Yeah, like, right now. Just now."
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"Horace and me were walking down the hallway"
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"and he made me feel safe."
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"Then he grabbed my penis and slid into the darkness"
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"like my thoughts during alone time."
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