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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Bassoon Incident/Ice Cream Money (S01E01)

"We're going to drive past the county line,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and we're gonna meet my buddy Glenn."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's gonna give us the stuff,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we are right as rain."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That goes against so many of my mom's rules"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I can't even tell you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, rule number one of drug deals."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't get your mom involved. I learned that the hard way."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[electronic music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Right out of the gate,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"why does this guy have a bag on his head?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm a future franchise owner."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't support "'roids.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just act cool."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Glenn is on his way out here with the soft pretzels."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Soft pretzels? I thought we're here for drugs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Shh, at these things, we use code words."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Soft pretzels means drugs."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, I like that. That sounds legit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Coincidentally, I am also treating you guys"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to soft pretzels."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, shouldn't we pick a different code word?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, we can't change it now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That would make it even more complicated."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is complete chaos."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Woot woot! Ah, what's up, players?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Please don't tell me this is Glenn."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- King of the food court, you know what I'm saying?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Straight up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't have a good feeling"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"about this guy at all."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This dude's the king of the mall."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Bow before him. - Hell, yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Anybody want some soft pretzels?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wink wink. - What's happening?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"These are pretzels, or these are drugs?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not following."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's the juice to get loose"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"on the diamond, dog."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Juice? Is that an expression or--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It'll make you hard as a diamond on the diamond."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You know what I'm saying? - I'm not tracking any of this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Conseco-style, dog. - Conseco?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- There's going to be so many girls at the ballpark,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"dog, they're going to have to call a rain delay"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because it's going to get so wet in there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Straight up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What the hell's happening, Tom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's hard to track the story from under here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, just act natural as I discreetly"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"stuff the junk into Tom's backpack."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Glenn, cover me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I got your six, player. Eyes and ears in motion."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What kind of cheap-ass backpack is this, Tom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It was a gift from my grandmother."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's not high quality."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Man, your bag smells like Sun Chips."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This drug deal is off the rails."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, look! It's Tom, from band!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. - What's going on here, Tom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm just hanging out here with my friends."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is, uh, my buddy, the bus driver."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, how you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And this is Nelson. - Nice to meet you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And I believe this guy's name is Glenn."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hooking my boy up with some snacks,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"not leaving tracks, straight up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is why I don't like you talking to him."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's this kind of stuff, right here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm watching you, Tom,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and wherever you go, someone will be watching."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Guess who's gonna be watching?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Got to assume it's you, right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't talk back to me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That is how you swing a bat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom. - Hey, coach."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Look at you. You are amped for this game."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Feeling confident, feeling loose."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, look at me right now. I can't put you in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. I have to play."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You didn't have what we'd call a "strong debut.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. Come on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm a new man. Look at my body."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, you can't."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Coach, you gotta let me play"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or I'm gonna slap you in your face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm gonna slap you right now. - I'm sorry."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I say the kid plays."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who-- Okay, who are you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, I'm Nelson, new owner."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is adorable, but you can't "own" one of these."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is more of like a-- it's like a sponsorship."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My name's on the shirt. Look down."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Now look up. Let's not get into semantics."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Suit up, baby. You're going in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So you just--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you're just going to listen to him like that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It seems like he's the owner, from what I'm being told."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[light applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, here we go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Strike one for the pants pooper!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You don't have to keep bringing that up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We've all moved on."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The memory still lingers. - All right."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Strike two, for Shitty Shitty Pants Pants."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's crossing the line. - What would you prefer?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I know it got a laugh, but it's crossing the line."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Look. I apologize."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, here we go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come on, Tom. You can do this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We are all juiced up and ready for action."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bat cracks]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[dramatic music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[car alarm blares]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And that one is out of here! [cheers and applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, I'm on top of the world. What a day."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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